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Need your opinions please !

(13 Posts)
Summerfruit Sat 12-Sep-09 16:47:57

I have to give notice to parents because their little girl is not settled at all with me (see previous thread). I believe a nanny will be more suitable for her as he will have a lot one on one time and a more gentle introduction to other children by visiting playgroups, parks etc...I got this little girl when she was 8 months old, before that she was cared by her two parents and was never in contact with other children. Now in my house, I have 2 dds and 1 other mindee and whenever one of the other children comes next to her she screams, if I dont take her in my arms, she screams, I cant put her on the floor as she gets hysterical (sp??)..It has been like this for 3 months non stop, my dds and mindee are feeling down because of the constant screaming so I feel I have to give notice as I feel I'm not the appropriate care for her (its the first time I have to give notice and I dread it).
So do you think it will be the right approach, suggesting to find the perfect nanny for their little girl to the parents ? As I know it will have a positive impact on their little girl ?? They are lovely people and I really want to do it the right waY !! Thank you !!

Summerfruit Sat 12-Sep-09 16:55:07


nannynick Sat 12-Sep-09 16:57:42

A nanny will cost the parents more money... money they may not have.
Are there any other minders in your area who would consider taking on the child... someone who perhaps didn't have many under 5's.

Summerfruit Sat 12-Sep-09 17:08:52

I dont think money will be a problem for them, I have 2 under 5 with this little girl and one (my dd) is at playgroup all morning. I'm not over my allowed number !

frakkinpannikin Sat 12-Sep-09 17:27:05

I don't think nannynick was saying you were over your numbers, just that perhaps the under 5s that you have are too much for her and she might be better in a smaller setting.

I guess just suggesting that you don't feel she's thriving in a busy environment and is maybe struggling with separation anxiety as well might work? It's not something a parent is going to want to hear but I hope they appreciate that you have her best interests at heart.

limonchik Sat 12-Sep-09 17:28:25

A nanny would be a lot more money than a CM though - probably doubling their childcare costs. I think it might be a bit insensitive to suggest a nanny is the right solution for their DD as they may be unable/unwilling to employ one.

I would just keep it simple - you've tried your best but the baby hasn't settled, you don't feel the current situation is right for her or the other children and unfortunately you have to give notice.

Summerfruit Sat 12-Sep-09 17:35:12

In my aera the cm are paid between 45 and 60 pounds a day, I think a nanny is 60 pounds a day. Before taking my services, they told me they were thinking of hiring a nanny, that is why I thinking I can suggest it to them but I also can suggest a cm with a smaller setting, I really have this little girl best interest at heart, and it has been a decision difficult to reach. I think my setting are too busy for her, she wakes up easily at the smallest noise and she is in a very quiete room with no other children when she sleeps ! Thank you for all your suggestions !

limonchik Sat 12-Sep-09 17:46:41

Where are you? That sounds incredibly low pay for a nanny, yet quite high CM rates. Most nannies outside London earn more like £70-£100 a day. Where I am a CM is around £35-£40 a day while a nanny earns £80+.

frakkinpannikin Sat 12-Sep-09 17:54:59

Remember that a CM is a gross cost to the parents but most nanny wages are quoted net so it may be a much higher cost than you're anticipating.

I wouldn't mention the nanny to them - let them come to that conclusion on their own when you say she might benefit from a smaller/more relaxed setting at this age.

Summerfruit Sat 12-Sep-09 18:41:54

Yes you are all right, I didnt think about it...What I will say is that she may benefir from a smaller setting...thank you so much !

danthe4th Sun 13-Sep-09 16:36:58

Have you tried putting her in a buggy in the house instead of putting her on the floor, it may help her to feel safer, she can still play with toys and join in singing etc. or use a highchair where she could do some colouring. She may just feel very vulnerable on the floor with other children.If she is in a buggy she can be at your side but you won't need to constantly pick her up, you can comfort her by touching her and speaking to her. Its worth a go.This has worked for me and now when I get new ones and they look bothered I do this and find it really helps.

Pip51 Sun 13-Sep-09 20:11:51

I've used a highchair for a baby difficult to settle, it worked well, they loved being high up and able to see more.
As said by danth4 she seemed to feel more secure as well.

Summerfruit Sun 13-Sep-09 21:46:33

danthe - I have tried the buggy from the beginning and it didnt work...then I stopped for a while..tried again recently and she still scream until I pick her up..

Pip-She is regurlarly in the high chair when I need to do someting so I know she is security...

On monday morning, the parents warned me she had awful nights prior her stay with me, they said it was the teething, the 4 days she was with me, she cried non stop, I took her temp few times to check there was noting more as I was really worried about her...the day after I have texted her mum just to check how she was, and the mum told me she had a ear infection, she probably was sick while being at my place (but no temp) and I didnt notice she had a ear infection because we were all focused on the the teething..

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