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Childminders advice needed for potty training!!

(9 Posts)
Beck88 Wed 09-Sep-09 09:14:32

I mind a little boy who is 29months.
He has been potty training for around 6 weeks now, His mums idea of training him is completely different to how I would do things but everyone trains differently and I respect that so I have just been doing my best to carry on his routine within my rules.
It's not been going too badly, a few accidents but mainly we manage to catch everything, so sometimes I wonder if it's just a matter of just luck!!

On two occasions however I have caught him pulling his pants down, aiming and weeing on the carpet. I have to say this bothers me that he is delibertately aiming and weeing on the carpet and what they other children may be learning from him.
I did mention it to his mum who seemed not to worried.
This morning she dropped off and said he had done it at home yesterday. She thinks it's because he knows it's naughty to wee in his pants so he thinks it's better to just do it there if he isn't going to make it.

It's hard, I'm in a bit of a dilema, I can't be sure but I dont think this is the case, he is a little behind on all areas which makes me think he probably isn't actually thinking so far ahead. What would you do?

Nancy10 Wed 09-Sep-09 09:36:46

I have 3 boys. One who was potty trained at just under 3 and my 2nd and 3rd were still not 100% under almost 4. It's not fair on you or the other children in your care to put up with this. Maybe it's a sign he is just not ready especially as you say he's been doing it for 6 weeks now. I would say again to mum that you accept accidents happen but not to the extent where your home is being damaged. You need to point out that he's not the only child you look after and you have other children to consider. If she doesn't take the matter seriously I would have to give her notice. I'm slightly more concerned about his mum's lack of respect towards your home then his behaviour. He's not even 2 and a half. I would be mortified, if a child minder told me my son was aiming on her carpet. Good luck!

dikkertjedap Wed 09-Sep-09 14:33:53

Isn't it a bit early to already potty train him? Maybe suggest pull on nappies for a while.

danthe4th Wed 09-Sep-09 16:49:46

The comment about she thinks its naughty to wee in his pants bothers me. The mother style of potty training is obviously not working if he is being told off by her for wet pants at 2. I would suggest to her to give it a break for a few weeks and start again with your rules and lots of praise for dry pants and ignoring the wet ones.
If she doesn't agree I would ask that he wears nappy pants at yours until he is more reliable and give her the bill for the carpet cleaner.

Oligo Wed 09-Sep-09 18:32:22

Think if he is aware enough and capable to pull down his pants and aims for floor he is likely ready to start PT. Maybe need to just discuss appoach with mum. The naughty thing if seriously being said to him is unacceptable of course. Can he bring familiar potty from home to use at first? Maybe mum thinks wee on floor is probably just a regular hazard of job/CMing.

thebody Wed 09-Sep-09 19:24:41

poor you, I think he simply isnt ready yet and I would tell the mum that in view of this odd behaviour you wont be potty training him when he is with you. Its not naughty to wee in the pants but it is to aim at your carpet.

If she doesnt agree then do as danthe says and give her the bill and give notice.

I also agree with the lack of respect comment and its not acceptable for Mum to think this is no big deal.

Good luck and keep informed..

moomillion Wed 09-Sep-09 20:37:46

My father in law told my 2 year 3months little girl who had just started potty training that she was disgusting how could you wet yourself you naughty girl only stupid children wee themselves which she was so upset about he went home n let her crying she then wouldn't go in pants so left her for 3 months tried again 6weeks ago few accidents but doing well she still remembers though and is so upset if she has an accident feel awful for her when she does as she is so proud

Sorry off on a tangent but I wonder if he gets slot of negative attention?

Beck88 Thu 10-Sep-09 08:37:11

Hi Guys! Thankyou so much for all your comments, this job is the most rewarding job, but at times it's so hard I wonder what on earth i'm doing!

When is mum first told me he was potty training I was a little worried as I didn't think he would be ready. It wasn't discussed with me at all, she turned up one day and said he is in pants! (pull-ups have never been mentioned) However during the day he does seem to be fine, yesterday he took himself off to the potty and we didn't have any accidents. This can go on for a week or more but then one day he will just decide to wee on the floor purposely!

His mum is very unapproachable and I did explain to her that accidents were not a problem but when I found him deliberately weeing I sat him on the thinking spot, which she didn't like. It makes it very awkward for me to put my point across because I really feel she isn't interested. I wonder if he could be doing it for attention or just to misbehave? He is a tad left out at home from what I can gather too.

Oligo Thu 10-Sep-09 21:04:22

hate to say it but maybe its star chart time

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