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Would this be offensive to nannies?

(10 Posts)
Mud Tue 31-May-05 18:57:55

Met a lovely woman down the road .. she has 2 kids the same age as mine and lives probably 20 houses away. Anyway we're chatting - as you do, and I invited her round for coffee - as you do - on the pretext that our children could be good friends (might go to same school)

so she turns round and says 'oo that's lovely, I work full time so I'll give your number to my nanny she's a lovely polish girl'

now I'm sure she is lovely, but I'm a very busy mum I have lots of friends and I don't really want to be friends, or have to be polite to someone else's nanny for the sake of the children (who also have lots of friends)

she has since called me in an attempt to set up a date when her nanny can bring round her youngest (a baby) to 'play' with my baby - I claimed I was busy

am I being rude? or has she got a cheek

PinkFluffPudding Tue 31-May-05 19:02:45

Well, you did invite her round on the pretext of it being nice for the children. So perhaps she felt she was doing the right thing by not turning you down completely. I can understand why you would feel a bit miffed though.

PinkFluffPudding Tue 31-May-05 19:03:51

Not sure if it would be offensive to nannies though! On a professional level, no i don't think it would be, keeping the children occupied is all in a day's work.

Mud Tue 31-May-05 19:11:48

she only works 4 days a week though

and I am a women 'd'une certain age' so do not relish the thought of having to entertain a 'young polish' girl

PinkFluffPudding Tue 31-May-05 19:16:59

No, and i don't blame you. I think you should just make your excuses and not get drawn into it any further. The woman doesn't sound too interested in making any new mum friends. Shame.

NannyL Tue 31-May-05 19:34:04

Im a nanny and most of my charges freinds are looked after by there parents (not nannies etc)

Given my charges are 2 and 4 i normally accompany them, and the parents come round to 'our' house too.

I feel i get on very well with these parents (indeed was with a mum and her 2 kids all this afternoon)

If someone didnt want to see me because i was the 'nanny' not the mum i may be slightly offended... i would however think 'their loss' as o genuinely do get on with the parents.... and i dont feel i need "entertaining"

i would not loose sleep over the matter tho!

NannyL Tue 31-May-05 19:34:05

Im a nanny and most of my charges freinds are looked after by there parents (not nannies etc)

Given my charges are 2 and 4 i normally accompany them, and the parents come round to 'our' house too.

I feel i get on very well with these parents (indeed was with a mum and her 2 kids all this afternoon)

If someone didnt want to see me because i was the 'nanny' not the mum i may be slightly offended... i would however think 'their loss' as o genuinely do get on with the parents.... and i dont feel i need "entertaining"

i would not loose sleep over the matter tho!

tamula Tue 31-May-05 19:40:14

well i am a former nanny and i have had to deal with situations quite similar, either having to meet the mother's boring friends for tea or befriending other nannies who quite frankly i couldnt be bothered with

I had enough nanny mates and didnt really like being told who I should make mates with, but I did so quite cheerfully, well, as a paid professional would

I dont blame you at all for not wanting to have her over, its different chatting to and establishing a relationship with a grown woman and mother as opposed to chit chat with the polish nanny! I'm sure the polish nanny is perfectly delightful but i see your point. However, perhaps making buddies with the anny isnt such a bad idea, if they do all end up at the same school and your running late one day, or need a babysitter desperately one evening. My dear ole mum used to say you got to speculate to accumulate!! hahahahahahahahahahaha

Mud Tue 31-May-05 19:52:56

nice thought Tamula - but eldest already at school and I have 2 other friends on same road as me, 3 on next road along and 2 others on one after that so am really really not stuck for people to drop off and pick up kids

Earlybird Tue 31-May-05 19:56:17

Why don't you say to her that while it would be nice for the kids to play together, you'd like to get to know her too. Ask if she's available during the week or on weekends, and then arrange something for then. Nothing wrong with the direct approach!

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