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children seem not to like the nanny

(12 Posts)
mummydoc Sun 23-Aug-09 13:51:13

we have had a new nanny since april, she does after school + some housework 3 days a week during term time and full days during holidays. She started brilliant to begin with but has slacked off a bit witthe housework since children have been on holiday ( that is ok as far as i am concerned) she is firm and expects good behaviour which again is great but the children seem to be a bit fed up and moan when they hear the nanny is coming ...i know lots of children do this and say " oh i don't like nanny xxx she 's mean " or whatever but i am getting rather fed up of hearing it from my 2. i know if is anyone but mummy then they moan and groan, but having thought about it i do realise she really hasn't dome much with them these hols, i thought they would be out and baout on picnics etc all the time but realsied last week my dd aged 4 has been to play barn once and had a friend over once in 7 weeks . i htink she is bored as she is playing up for hte nanny big time. I know i need to sit down with nanny and suggest she does a bit more with them but find those conversations so tricky - why am i such a wimp when i am paying her wages ????? what do the rest of oyu do when dc maon about the nanny?

Millarkie Sun 23-Aug-09 16:59:43

TBH my dc haven't moaned about their nannies (although they were whingy about one au pair but we settled that by minimising her time with them as much as possible and asking her to leave once we had sorted a replacement).
But assuming you know your kids are making a mountain out of a bit of a boring molehill, I suppose you could approach nanny saying something like 'don't you find them a handful if you aren't going on any trips to wear them out, how about we book some trips for the next couple of weeks ' and discuss things she could do with them? I keep a folder of leaflets about local places in our kitchen so i can point to that for childcarer inspiration (and also our inspiration for weekend trips)..Or you could try and book a few holiday classes (our kids have done trampolining, tennis and cycle safety this summer, all very cheap courses run by the council and gives me the peace of mind that they are doing something other than hanging round the house all day).

Laquitar Sun 23-Aug-09 17:42:39

You probably know this but i will write it just in case. The 'sandwich approach'. Start with positive/praise, then the critisism with suggestions, then finish with positive again. (I find it tricky too).

Millarkie's ideas are good.

nannynick Sun 23-Aug-09 17:47:57

This is the first long period of time that your nanny has cared for your children all day... previously it has been just after-school. Is that the case?
What happened during Half-Term... was there signs then that nanny caring for your children all day wasn't working well?
I take the children I nanny out on trips all the time. I don't actually like staying at home much... though do that on occasion. I go stir crazy if I'm cooped up all day indoors, as do many children... thus I like getting out an about - even if that means going to Windsor Great Park for a walk to see the Deer, play in the park, walk around the lake.
Does your nanny know of the things locally that your children like doing? Does your nanny know of places that she knows from previous work which your children may like?

foxinsocks Sun 23-Aug-09 17:56:26

have to be honest, we've had nannies for years and my children have never complained

if they were complaining like that, I'd change the nanny (quite often think combining nanny plus housework can lead to problems)

nannynick Sun 23-Aug-09 18:05:35

Are your children old enough to expand on what they mean by "she's mean". It could be that she only allows them one biscuit a day - or it could be far worse. Can they give examples of when they feel she is being mean?

Once you have discussed the situation more with your children, arrange a review meeting with your nanny... to discuss how things are going. As Laquitar says, use the sandwich approach, highlighting the good points then the bad points and trying to end positively.

MovingOutOfBlighty Sun 23-Aug-09 18:11:01

I have a childminder I use sometimes and a nanny I have 2 days a week.

Depending on how my dd is feeling you can find out that the nanny was 'being horrible'. This happened recently. This was because although she was taken to the seaside by the nanny as a fun day out, given a ride on a donkey, bought one of those sparkly windmills etc. she was not allowed a flake in her ice cream!!!
On further examination it would appear the nanny hadn't locked her in a spider filled room but this was the petty cause of her dislike!
They also go 'off' the childminder periodically as well. This is usually when they are going through a clingy phase. It is hard when there are complaints from the dcs though. But what can you do? Giving up work is not an option.
Not sure what you should do really. Have a chat with the nanny I guess as Laquitar said.

MovingOutOfBlighty Sun 23-Aug-09 18:12:15

BTW - how incredibly posh does having a nanny sound!
Mine just happens to be a lovely local mum and it is cheaper in the end than having both at nursery.

clayrebear Sun 23-Aug-09 18:22:05

Do you have a kitty for the nanny so she has cash to take your children on trips out even a trip to the park and they may want ice creams?
Why not if your children are old enough get them to make a weekly planner with the nanny and then your children have some input into the time with her

mummydoc Sun 23-Aug-09 21:56:54

thanks for comments though worried not many other children moan,asked dd aged 4 why nanny xxx wa smean and the answer was " she doesn't let me eat sweeties forbreakfast" ...oh well in that case i side with the nanny, dd1 aged 9 - she made us go for a walk with the dog ! well i guess i shall just have to harden up, i know if i came home and they didn't want me as they loved the nanny so much i would also be upset. i spoke to nanny on phone tonight - suggested a plan for a day out tomorrow , also said i thought she was doing really well with dd2 this summer and that we thoguht maybe that dd2 needed to be out of the house as much as possible in the last 2 weeks of hols. nanny agreed and asked if ok to do some other trips with them, turns out hasn't wanted to go to zoo etc as felt that we might feel that we had missed out not being able to take girls ourselves. reassurred her that not hte case and i am happy for her to take them to stuff. i love the folder idea and weekly planner - will implement this for next 2 weeks and do it advance for christmas

Laquitar Sun 23-Aug-09 22:10:48

I have to say your nanny gets extra points in my view for agreeing to talk about this over the phone on sunday evening!

MrsMattie Sun 23-Aug-09 22:16:52

Clarybear's suggestions are good. We have a kitty for our nanny to use for outings. She is fantastic and actually draws up her own weekly planner with my oldest child's help - trips to parks near and far, city farms, softplay centres, nature trails, playdates etc - but if she didn't, I think I'd probably make some suggestions.

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