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My childminder is closing - and I am CRYING!!! Sorry - long!

(13 Posts)
Dysgu Wed 19-Aug-09 13:42:37

My childminder has just told me today that she is closing. The reason for this hs nothing to do with childminding but is financial due to relationship breakup.

She told me - and I CRIED!

I have been trying to work out why I am so sad. DD1 has been wth her since she was 7mo and she is about to turn 3yo. She has been going for up to 10 hours a day 4 or 5 days a week for 2.5 years. DD1 and CM's youngest DD are only a few months apart in age and have grown up together. They are best friends but will not end up in the same school year due to birthdates.

DD2 started with CM this morning after we have been away on holiday. CM gave me the option of not leaving her but she is a placid baby and I just could not think how I was going to do everything I planned today with a baby in tow. As it is, I never made it into work (not such a big issue - I am a teacher and it is the holidays!) and have just been trying to work out what to do.

CM gave me contact for alternative CM. This person cannot do all the hours I need for my 2DDs. My CM was recommended to me and I don't have any other personal recomendations for a new place other than this one she gave me this morning.

My mum will have my 2DDs one day a week but I am still one day short. This is also a day when DD1 should be at pre-school. The 'new' CM could take DD2 from November. But I don't know what to do...

Should I find somewhere else local - if possible - that will take both girls for all the hours I need?

Should I find somewhere else local that will do the one day I cannot get with the personally recommended CM and use her for the other 3 days (with my mum doing the other day)?

Should I move both of them to a nursery by my work that has places and a pre-school? This would mean taking DD1 out of her current pre-school where she started last term?

I just feel so sad. Not just about having to find somewhere else for DDs but I really feel almost as though DD1 is 'losing' her 3rd parent! She has spent so much time with CM - even going 2 days a week during my ML with DD2 - and just loves it there. I even dropped her there on Xmas eve last year when DP was on mainland at work and DD2 decided to make an early and very quick arrival!

And of course, I feel sad for CM as she is not really choosing to close but is having to move.

Not sure anyone else really has the answer - just wanted to off load I guess!

Thanks for gettng this far.

muddleduck Wed 19-Aug-09 14:17:22

We had a similar situation so I feel your pain sad

We went with a new CM who was recommended by the old CM. If you rate your old CM so much then I'd def go with her recommendation if at all possible. IME CM's recommendations about each other are worth a lot more than parents recommendations. CMs see each other at work and have more objective opinions. If the recommended one can do most of the hours you need then I'd sign up asap.
good luck smile

Dysgu Wed 19-Aug-09 16:35:15

Thank you for replying.

Having got a bit more used to the shock I am beginning to think that we are probably going to go with the recommendation that our CM gave us.

She is not able to see us until next Tuesday but I just have to hope she keeps the places for me. Our CM had already recommended us to her too!

She will be able to take DD2 from November we hope as one of her current mindees is due to leave then.

When I told my CM that I was going to have a look round the nursery by my work she almost started crying too and begged me not to put them in a nursery. I really don't want to do that either - it was why we opted for a childminder in the first place.

So it looks like I might have to beg my mum to have both of them for an extra day for a few weeks - and make the journey over to get DD1 into pre-school too! Then DD2 will go to the new CM and we just have to sort DD1 out for before and after pre-school - which either my mum might do or DP will have to use some holiday time.

Of course, my parents (and my dad especially) feel that children should really be looked after by their own parents so asking for more help is just a touch awkward!

Nice to know though that we are not the only ones who get so attached and relaint upon a wonderful CM.

danthe4th Wed 19-Aug-09 22:13:41

Sounds like the nursery would be the easiest option, or you could do a mix of a couple of days at the nursery and a new cm, only you know what suits you and will work for the best. Its always sad to change but the children will adapt wherever you put them.

CMOTdibbler Wed 19-Aug-09 22:18:00

Why not go and have a look at the nursery ? It would be the easiest option for you, and would be stable for the girls

babablacksheep Wed 19-Aug-09 22:42:12

We were in a similar ish situation about 4 years ago, when DD's CM gave up and got an office job. I was given 4 weeks notice, and promptly left her house to go up to the wraparound care nursery bit at a local school - which a few other people I know had used, and we were sorted!

It was upsetting but more for me than DD - who settled really easily!

I would imagine it would be harder jugglilng two DD's, but I am sure it will all work out - good luck!

Dysgu Thu 20-Aug-09 15:50:34

We have just been to look the nursery and as it seems really nice, I am more undecided. There do seem to be lots of advantages of sending them both there.

I am going to see the 'new' childminder next Tuesday morning and will then have to make up our minds pretty quickly. Ideally I really want it all sorted before I go back to work on September 1st.

If we take up the childminder then DD1 will be there, home with me, home with DP, with Nanna, and at preschool (and possibly with current CM in unregistered capacity for 90 minutes before school each day!)each week. DD2 would be with CM, home with me, home with DP, or with Nanna.

If they go to the nursery then they will either be there, at home with me or with Nanna.

I know they will both settle wherever they go pretty quickly.

And I think it will work out cheaper if they go to nursery but would have to look into retainers for school holidays...

I think I might go and have a look at the Nurseries threads and see what people have to say about nurseries.

Thanks to everyone for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

gingernutlover Thu 20-Aug-09 15:57:17

my dd goes to a nursery and I feel it was the right choice for us

it provides continuity and hassle free childcare and if you think they would be happy there it mgiht be better than your other option which sounds a little bit of a disjointed arrangement.

How old are the dc? I sometimes wish i had sent dd to a childminder when she was very tiny, but now she is older I think nursery is excellent place for her.

gingernutlover Thu 20-Aug-09 15:59:59

i see you are a teacher and I am guessing from your message that your dd is going to be 3 soon? If she turns 3 before sept you will get the Nursery education £140 a month so that would helpw ith the possible higher cost of nursery.

Dysgu Thu 20-Aug-09 16:24:18

DD1 just misses out on the funding for pre-school in September as she turns 3 on the 10th! We started her on 2 half days at the local pre-school in June as I was on maternity leave so could settle her. However, she doesn't seem to struggle in settling and it was more for my benefit really!

DD2 is nearly 8 months old. She has already been to the current CM and was absolutely fine - no tears at all just smiles!

TBH financial help is great but that is not the biggest issue - we are very happy to pay to make sure they are both safe and happy wherever they are.

The nursery does seem to tick a lot of boxes and certainly mean they were not all over the place. I just always felt that I wanted them in a family setting so we went with a CM originally. It also means they would never be together whilst at nursery which they would be with a CM. And the nursery would mean DD1 is at pre-school for 2 full days and half-days which is a lot more than I had signed her up for with the local pre-school.

Of course, the continuity of care and the fact that I would be collecting DD1 from pre-school are plus points.

With a CM she would be taking and collecting DD1 from pre-school. If we use the CM it also means DP taking a lt of holiday time to cover the Weds that CM can't do.

Is tough - I think I prefer the idea of a CM but nursery is looking more practical...

And I am just using this thread to work out my options and preferences so thank you to everyone who offers advice.

AddictedtoCrunchies Thu 20-Aug-09 16:29:43

I started DS with a childminder when I went back to work last October (he was 10mo). All was well to start with but then it got harder and harder to prise him off me when I left and when I collected him he had been crying.

So I changed him to nursery and he started in April. Absolutely recommend it as he's as happy as the proverbial pig.

But you have to do what you think is right for your girls. My little man just didn't suit a childminder but is thriving in the nursery environment.

gingernutlover Thu 20-Aug-09 21:05:43

ah yeah, my dd was 3 last sept, the 9th - seems a bit unfair about the funding being a full term after they become 3 doesnt it.

I am a teacher too and I find the uncomplicatedness of the nursery helps. I couldnt be doing with complicated arranegments along with the stresses of school

Dysgu Fri 21-Aug-09 21:20:13

There do seem to be quite a few positives for the nursery! Humph!

I am going to see the prospective childminder next Tuesday and as her about the possibility of her applying for a variation so that she can fit DD1 in on Wednesdays too.

Will have to wait and see - then decide pretty quickly!

Thanks for everyone's input.

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