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Childminders.. what do you do when parents come in for settling in for their child ????

(14 Posts)
wearefriends Wed 12-Aug-09 20:49:39

A parent wants to come to my setting 5 days aweek for settling in and I am not sure what to do as I go to play groups 3 days week and one day in the park 9.30 to 12pm then 12.30 Its their lunch time after that they have free play for an hour and then go for nap after they wake-up its time for school run, so not sure what what to do its all gonna start on 2nd of september.
Any comments please!!!

danthe4th Wed 12-Aug-09 21:39:28

Youve got to be kidding!!!!! No way could I cope with that. I would do a couple of hours with the parent staying at most on any one day.If she wants to bring her child to the playgroup fine for one day. I would suggest a few hours here and there and then be left with the child for a few hours building up to whatever is needed.Can you not start with a couple of hours before the 2nd. Have I misunderstood that the parent wants to stay for 5 days!!!!

Can you clarify exactly what parent is wanting.....Like Dan says, sounds like parent wants to be there 5 days........hmm

wearefriends Wed 12-Aug-09 22:01:25

Sorry danthe4th and underpaidandoverworked, parent wants to come for 2 or 3 hours in the morning every morning and I can't start before 2nd of Septemper as I will be away on my holidays.
Also parent is not due to start work until Nov 09.

stomp Wed 12-Aug-09 22:36:42

Thats never happened to me shock I do advise short sessions at first and ask that parents hang around for 20 minutes or so on the first day- but often they just go for a walk around the block and thats all. I think nursery is different because its a large setting with lots going on, noise and can be a bit overpowering for children so parents are expected to stay, but a childminder can alter the routine for settling in to be quiet on the first day/week....i wouldnt be keen on a parent wating to be there everyday, i'm not certain its 'helpful' for the child, you need to bond with them and they probably will just want mum- very difficult.

atworknotworking Thu 13-Aug-09 09:54:04

Cor thats a lot of settling in, we do three sessions

1. With Child / Parent 1hr

2. With child / parent 1st hour, then parent goes into other room and leaves child for the 2nd hour

3. Child on its own 2hrs

I don't charge for these, but I would if they wanted more sessions, as they would be taking up a space, think it's a bit much and seems very consentrated, could they not spread it out a bit ie: from Sept up to Nov, if the settling in is all in one chunk your'e gonna be starting again with the child when it starts in Nov, also how old is the mindee?

HSMM Thu 13-Aug-09 09:57:40

Can they start by coming to groups and then leaving the child alone with you there and then arrange to drop the child at your house for short periods. It would not be in the 'best interests' of the other children in your care to change your routine completely. Also, you might like to point out that when the parent stays, it is more for the benefit of the parent than the child. I always find that a child 'settles in' better when they are left alone with me for short periods.

wearefriends Thu 13-Aug-09 11:20:16

Mindee is 1yr old and she does not stop crying and hold on to her mum,been told by the parent that she has some health issues.

atworknotworking I do exactly the same what you do with settling in but this parent......I am not sure how am I gonna do it.

danthe4th Thu 13-Aug-09 12:31:45

How long is the child going to be with you when she starts in nov. I think you realise what she wants to do is OTT its not going to settle the child at all, the child is just going to think mum will be staying. I would suggest to mum to come for 2 hours max on one day for the first week and see how that goes.Then book in another session for the following week,don't book in all the sessions see how it goes for a few weeks get to know mum and the child,build up the trust and then tell her when you think the child should stay for a couple of hours without mum.If she is not happy with that then she is going to struggle leaving her in nov. It sounds more like the settling sessions are going to benifit mum not the child. May be usefull to find out what the health issues are as well. I would charge for the settling sessions it sounds like the mum may be quite demanding, but hopefully when she gets to know you it will be fine,Good luck,Caroline

wearefriends Thu 13-Aug-09 12:55:57

Thanks for your support,danthe4th will try what you said.

thebody Thu 13-Aug-09 13:28:18

I would be very careful with this one.. sounds like lots of hassle to me and not with the child.

Definatly charge for the settling in session and dont allow mum to dictate to you, its your business and the needs of ALL the children come first.

she may want you to dance to her tune all the time, you arnt a nanny and have other children to consider. 5 days is silly and if she is staying all that time then its not a settling in session anyway.

Defintly find out the health issues before you sign any contract as well,sounds a little dodgy..

QuintessentialShadow Thu 13-Aug-09 13:33:50

I am not a childminder. But I would advice you to stick to how YOU are usually doing it, and if this is not acceptable to mum i dont see how you can have a good relationship. She needs to trust that you are the professional and that you know what you are doing, and that you know how best to settle a child. Just stick to your guns and tell mum that this is not what you usually do, it will also upset the routine you have with the other mindees. Listen to what she has to say, and tell her this is what we will do, and you outline what you normally do.

thebody Thu 13-Aug-09 13:52:52

well put.

danthe4th Thu 13-Aug-09 19:12:31

But to be fair I think youve got to give the mum a chance to trust you, she may never have left her child with a stranger and may not know how childminding works. I think if you can get her to agree to the first settling in session and to take it slowly, it may turn out fine. I'm a childminder and still find it hard leaving my children with friends. She may be finding it hard to except that she has to return to work, if you can show you are supportive of that she may relax. Either way it will become very obvious after a couple of sessions if you can work with her, and then you have the option to say its my way or not at all.

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