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CM CLUB - Little digs and snidey asides :(

(22 Posts)
AvadaKedavra Mon 03-Aug-09 19:46:39

How to deal with parents who make snidey remarks and digs along the lines of, oh off out shopping again are we, with my money? Oh what have you spent my money on this week? Oh another new pair of shoes??


I'm useless at witty retorts and need some to store up for future use!

Just say 'yes' grin, will stop them dead

Ripeberry Mon 03-Aug-09 20:06:37

What strange parents. You can spend your money the way you want. Its none of their business anyway hmm

MovingOutOfBlighty Mon 03-Aug-09 20:09:34

How odd. None of their Fking business.

Personally I would politely ask them as they think it is their money what they would like you to spend it on.


SammyK Mon 03-Aug-09 21:37:27

How RUDE! angry Is it the same family or is it more than one doing this? They obviously resent paying you and don't mind letting you know it! Are they a pain in other ways or a nice family aside from this issue? (I reckon from 4 yrs cm'ing I know the answer TBH).

They sound charming hmm

How much do you need their business?

onepieceoflollipop Mon 03-Aug-09 21:41:58

They sound really unpleasant. (I am not a cm, but my dd2 goes to a really lovely cm and I would never dream of making such rude remarks/comments to her)

Numberfour Tue 04-Aug-09 07:35:00

how bloody rude!!!!

i would get rid of them - if i could.....

alibubbles Tue 04-Aug-09 08:17:35

I had this once a very long time ago, I retorted, the pittance you pay me barely covers my wine merchant's bill. Do you have a problem with how I spend my income after feeding your child organic home cooked meals when he tells me that he prefers chicken nuggets and chips? They never made another comment!

HSMM Tue 04-Aug-09 08:35:07

Presumably if it is 'their' money, then the child becomes 'yours'. When they leave, you could ask what they are going to feed your child, or what activities they have planned over the weekend for your child?

I have been lucky I think - I have never had this (yet).

Numberfour Tue 04-Aug-09 09:00:20

i can NEVER understand how some people talk to their childminders. boggles my mind.

AvadaKedavra Tue 04-Aug-09 09:08:49

Yes the same family. Just picked up ( yes you read that right PICKED UP FROM THEIR HOUSE!) and handed over invoice and another comment "How much!? oh only joking ha ha" aye right course you were.

I appreciate it's a lot of money, but at the end of the day it must benefit them financially to work or they wouldn't - they get so much paid by TC, obv don't know how much though - so they must find it lucrative to both work and to choose to have a CM.

Am pulling whoever collects in tonight and explaining that I find it upsetting and offensive and that if we are to have a good working relationship it needs to stop NOW. Or they'll be getting a very nice notice letter.

But I can't afford to do that, it's two almost fters

HSMM Tue 04-Aug-09 09:37:58

Ask them if their bosses ask how they spend the company's money?

onepieceoflollipop Tue 04-Aug-09 12:28:48

I totally agree Numberfour. I don't think it's just restricted to cms either. When dd1 was at nursery I was absolutely shock at how a number of parents somehow couldn't seem to greet the staff politely.

Avada I think it is a good idea to mention how upsetting and offensive you find it. Obviously it is better to do so when you are feeling calm and have planned what to say, rather than "spur of the moment" probably after another rude/insulting remark from them.

imo cms don't get paid " a lot of money" - not for what you do. I cannot speak highly enough of my cm, in fact in rl people are probably fed up of me singing her praises.

alibubbles Tue 04-Aug-09 14:24:56

A fellow c/m lives opposite the "offy" and one of her clients was always remarking "off to spend it over the road now"

She wrote them a letter telling how offended she was and that it upset her and they apologised.

I think what you said about maintaining a good working relationship is a good way to express your feelings.

Julesnobrain Tue 04-Aug-09 15:06:54

The next time one of them makes a comment. I would say. 'I'm sure you don't mean to cause offence but I would prefer you not to make comments like that, we have a professional relationship and I am certain you don't expect your employer to make personal comments about how you spend your hard earned salary'. Then smile and leave it like that. Unless they are very thick they should pick up the message without any confrontation.

dietstartstomorrow Tue 04-Aug-09 15:22:16

I once had a parents say 'oh, you'll be off to the Carabian soon with all this money I pay you' shock angry shock

Just ignore it.

AvadaKedavra Tue 04-Aug-09 15:43:16

Mum just came to pick up and I've had a good day for once (apart from the comment this am of course!) and didn't feel like getting into a pickle, so left it tonight but have asked that on Friday they stop back ten mins for a wee chat. I am off all next week so they can stew on it, and I will have settled it and not have to churn it over all week off!

Will let you know how it goes hmm

thebody Tue 04-Aug-09 22:19:55

just read this am am gobsmacked for you.. how bloody rude.what a stupid thing to say..

Good luck for Friday...

missymoo2411 Thu 06-Aug-09 23:14:55

id say to them that u r putting the money up to see the look on there face ... no only joking i think u shoul deff say somthing its not fair good luck ..

AvadaKedavra Sat 08-Aug-09 08:04:32

I couldn't do it as planned as they brought round an airbed for me to borrow. Kind of took the wind out of my sails and I thought now isn't the right time.


Got the week off now and will have it in the back of my mind that I need to talk to them.

TheIronLady Sat 08-Aug-09 08:45:14

I can see that would be awkward.

Well just relax now, you are off for the week, just enjoy your time off. Are you doing something nice, or going away?

AvadaKedavra Sat 08-Aug-09 09:09:28

Got family coming to stay, so credit crunch holiday at home grin

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