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I'm not sure I want to be a CMer anymore...

(32 Posts)
GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 18:58:11

It just gets me down sometimes. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing it for my DS and my future DC because it's the only way I can afford to be a SAHM.

I couldn't even think about leaving my DS to go out to work so I probably just have to suck it up don't I?

Are their any other jobs I could do that allow me to be with my son that don't involve the sheer graft and pitiful pay that is minding other people's kids?

Someday's it's great, other days it's mind-numbingly boring and most days it's bloody hard work!

SammyK Wed 29-Jul-09 19:07:31

I left minding and went to work in a nursery, taking DS with me (and getting staff discount and a tiny amount of childcare element). Disappointing nursery though so now unemployed as I resigned! shock

What parts of minding are getting you down? Is it anything you can improve so that you don't feel as down about it?

GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 19:12:01

Do you know what sammy? I just don't think I'm cut out for the world of work full stop. I've never 'employed' well and am definately better off being self-employed. If only DP could support me being a SAHM then I think I would bite his arm off!

I'm not lazy, I do love to be busy and in that sense CM suits me too. I also love the ad hoc nature of it and the fact it's not a 9am-5pm job.

It's the paper work and the pressure to always be entertaining, and positive and having to plan ahead and be nice to parents and stuff that I don't like.

AvadaKedavra Wed 29-Jul-09 19:20:43

Well that's a pretty big part of the job GP! wink I think to be a good CM you do need to want to do it for it's own sake as a career choice and not just as a convenience, my opinion is probably going to ruffle a few feathers though!

What do you enjoy to do? Would you wish to stay self employed in some way? Could you build an internet business around your hobbies/interests? Do you have any money behind you to start something new?

navyeyelasH Wed 29-Jul-09 19:25:06

Hi GwarchodwrPlant sorry you are having such a downer at the mo. My advice would be to find a job you love doing then it wont feel like a battle. Sorry if that offends!

Could you get a night/weekend job or similar? All children deserve the best and if your heart isn't in it then maybe you should think about doing somethign else as it's bloody hard work even when you do love it!

All the best.

GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 19:36:03

I know! It sounds daft when I read over what I have just written! The kids don't suffer, believe me! If I felt that their care was being compromised then I would give it up tomorrow! I'm a good CMer, I know that but I want to be doing something that I love and that keeps me with my LO but I don't know what that is.

I don't have any money behind me AK and my interests are pretty limited, that or I just havn't discovered them yet! (Or I'm boring)

I love running, I love MN, I love reading, I love nature and walking, I love being at home with DS.

I would hate to work nights, I've been there before and I'd hate to work weekends as they are when DS, DP and I spend time together as a family, providing I'm not working, of course!

shoshe Wed 29-Jul-09 19:37:09

AvadaKedavra I think you are right, most of the good CM's do it as a career choice, (not saying that CM's that do it to be able to stay at home with their DC, cannot do a good job), but those that go into it, because they love being with children, and enjoy the job, 99% of the time are the better CM's

(We all get fed up with the paperwork and 'difficult' parents tho, and most of all we all get FED UP with Ofsted.)

SammyK Wed 29-Jul-09 19:38:25

If you are seriously unhappy then I would look into other options. What are your DH's working hours/pattern. For example if he works days M-F you could work evenings, nights, weekends. Not ideal but no childcare costs.

Have you looked into childcare element of tax credits? Worth checking.

You do sound very down, have you been feeling down for very long? Is it just your work situation?

2Shoots Wed 29-Jul-09 19:44:28

where abouts are you based? I take it you're in Wales, North or South?

GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 19:45:27

shoshe- I have to disagree with you there, the CMers I know do it to be at home with their young families or are doing it because they have retired. Another one I know is doing it because she prefers to be self-employed and another one is doing it because she started caring for her GC so its just an extension of that.

I started because of these reasons:

I want to be able to stay at home with my DC

I like being around children

I like being self-employed.

Sammy- I think it's just my work situation. Generally. I wish I could find something that really gets my heart racing and something I look forwards to every morning- not something that makes my stomach flip on a sunday night.

AvadaKedavra Wed 29-Jul-09 19:45:39

Do you need to have a regular set income GP to add to the household running or is it more for pin money (sorry I detest that way of wording it but couldn't think of anything else!!)

GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 19:46:48

North Wales. We're not governed by OFSTED up, thank God. EYFS hasn't yet reached us but it soon will be.

GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 19:48:14

My DP has a regular set income and I really need a regular set income. I wish it were just for pin money as you put it! smile

AvadaKedavra Wed 29-Jul-09 19:50:43

Have you thought about working in a school/nursery pt? And looked into childcare element for childcare for your own DC? Best of both worlds maybe? Time working for you (with children) but without it taking over your home, and part time so you get time with your dc?

GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 19:52:41

Yes, I have AK but the thought of working with people brings me out in a cold sweat!

navyeyelasH Wed 29-Jul-09 19:53:11

What about nannying?

GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 19:56:36

Crosses into that 'employed' territory again!

Thankyou for your time though, I appreciate your suggestions and I know I am difficult!

frasersmummy Wed 29-Jul-09 19:58:12

I think no matter what you do for a living there are days when you will feel like work is just a complete pain and you cant do it anymore.

I think when the days you feel like this outnumber the days you enjoy its time to move on.. before people start to comment that you are not as good/as committed as you used to be

sorry that doesnt answer your original question does it??

AvadaKedavra Wed 29-Jul-09 20:04:12

Why not give yourself a set amount of time, say I don't know till the end of the year and log your mood and if as above, bad outweighs good, admit it's time to either be a ft sahm or go out to work?

GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 20:11:09

I'll have to think of something. I'll give myself till the end of the year and if these feelings havn't settled down then I'll have to admit defeat and look for something else.

AK- can I ask how long you've been doing it and why?

Ripeberry Wed 29-Jul-09 20:19:14

Are you working long hours? More than 50 a week. Maybe you just need to have a 'break'?

GwarchodwrPlant Wed 29-Jul-09 20:23:07

Well I'm available 7 days a week from 7am until 7pm and I am working approx 50% of the time I am available. I havn't calculated how many hours I work but I'm getting days off, which I love and they are scattered about so I'm not overworked by any means. I've just come back off maternity leave beginning of June so maybe I just need to find my feet again.

Ripeberry Wed 29-Jul-09 20:25:55

Wow! Not many CMs offer weekends. The parents must love you smile

navyeyelasH Wed 29-Jul-09 20:52:07

Ok I think I have got it! What about being an ad-hoc self employed nanny?!

Ripeberry Wed 29-Jul-09 21:02:37

That sounds like a good idea, but would have to reduce fees as the OP will need to have her DD with her.

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