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So, my neighbour, a childmidner.

(42 Posts)
Saltire Mon 20-Jul-09 15:02:47

You may remember some of the horror tales I have told about her - well a while ago I reported(anonymously) her for leaving under 5s in the house unattended while she was in the garden, leaving them with a friend and for never ever taking them out.
I don't know what the outcome was but she has "decided" to stop minding under 5s.

Today,I heard something which has really upset me, but I'm not sure what OFSTED would say if I report her AGAIN, I ahve a feeling I won't have been the only one to hear this and be shocked by it.
7.15 am I heard what I can only describe as screeching. I was in the garden and she was in her house, all windows and doors wide open.
For the sake of this sstory I shall call the mindee BIll .
"Bill you are being really horrible today, what is your problem are you jealous because it's X(her son) birthday and he got presents? is that it, well let me tell you now you are not spoling his birhtday do you hear me, if this carries on you are going into the garden and you can stay out there all morning till school time.........did you just try to kick me? DID YOU?ANSWER ME> Well you deserve to be kicked back and if I do kick you back it will be your own fault, and if you tell your parents I shall deny it...what, don't you swear at me" followed by me hearing teh child say "I didn't swear" Then she starte dagain "well it's swearing in ym house,a dn if my children said that to me I would smack them, is that what you want me to do, smack you becasue you really are a nasty horrible child and if I did smakc you it would be your own fault for being a jealous horrible little boy and stop whining at me, I don't want to listen anymore LALALAL I HAVE MY HANBDS OVER MY EARS. I@M NOT LISTENING TO YOU,lalalalalala come on everyone let's cover our ears and sing really loudly so we can't hear slefish BIll moaning" and then I heard lots of voices singing alalalalalalalala.
Now I thought that childmidners do not bully, humiliate or intimidate mindees? Thats word for word what I heard this morning. There is a lot of animosity between us and I'm really surprised she hasn't twigged that I reported her last time

Lifeinagoldfishbowl Mon 20-Jul-09 15:07:29

CALL OFSTED NOW!! I would also write to them so they have it in writing - As the parent of the child I would also want to know - can you let them know somehow.

PuppyMonkey Mon 20-Jul-09 15:08:32

Tell Bill's mum and then both of you report her.

shootfromthehip Mon 20-Jul-09 15:12:05

I would have to be physically restrained if I knew that my childminder was treating my child like that. You need to intervene. Can you record these things if they happen again?

Lifeinagoldfishbowl Mon 20-Jul-09 15:12:33

How old's Bill btw ? Not that it matters poor kid

littleducks Mon 20-Jul-09 15:13:41

IS 'Bill' over 5 then? IF so i would tell Bills mum so he knows there is someone to back up his story

That is evil

Saltire Mon 20-Jul-09 15:15:21

Bill is 9/10 he is in Ds2s year 4 class. There was minders own children who are in years 2,3 and 5. Then there was Bill and his sister (year 3) and another brother and sister, years 4 and 5, another girl who is in year 4, and then another set of siblings who go to infant school.
10 children in total. I was shocked, inf act so shocked that I actually told my mannager at work because I just couldn't get it out of my head

I don't know what Bill's mum and dad look like I'm afraid

Lifeinagoldfishbowl Mon 20-Jul-09 15:16:50

Could you get there telephone number of another mum in DS2's class - someone must have it and then give her a call.

PuppyMonkey Mon 20-Jul-09 15:17:59

Can you spy tonight and catch a glimpse of who they are as they take him home?

jeminthepark Mon 20-Jul-09 15:18:00

Do something about it- she is being abusive.

Don't feel guilty, she is fucking up children

jeminthepark Mon 20-Jul-09 15:18:51

Oh Salyire- just re-read- sounds awful....what can you do then, practically speaking?

jeminthepark Mon 20-Jul-09 15:19:04


Littlepurpleprincess Mon 20-Jul-09 15:23:19

Tbh I wouldn't have listened to that. I would have intervened immediately. I think the best thing to do would be to have gone round immediately, and very calmly, told her what you heard and that you are going to have to report it to OFSTED straight away. Bullies need to be told when they are out of line.

jeminthepark Mon 20-Jul-09 15:24:47

Good point, but how easy is it to do that?

LuluMaman Mon 20-Jul-09 15:28:13

you need to record her if she says stuff like that!! i can't believe she is a childminder

thebody Mon 20-Jul-09 16:41:56

I would have thought threats like that to a child and that sort of behaviour is a police and social service matter not simply Ofsted. She sounds a cruel bitch and I would go straight to social services, personally.

RumourOfAHurricane Mon 20-Jul-09 16:48:01

Message withdrawn

rookiemater Mon 20-Jul-09 17:13:16

Its very easy for us to tell you what to do, I know in your shoes I would be less keen to confront what is clearly an angry lady.

You do need to contact Ofstead straight away, I'm sure they will be glad that you reported it.

LynetteScavo Mon 20-Jul-09 17:19:15

Personally I would try to catch the mother when she picks the children up - and let her know what your heard. Bill is old enough to recount accurately what went on also. If he is in your DS's class, the CM should get suspicious.

Bill can't spend the whole summer with this cow.

atworknotworking Mon 20-Jul-09 17:25:03

This is a very distressing post. I have read a couple of others about this CM that you have put on here before, what I would do is try to record (on a machine, tape recorder) what is being said, shouted or threatened whether this is ethical or not I wouldn't particually care in this instance as if what you say is true this CM is abusing a mindee, what you also need to do is sit down and write a record as accurate as you can of exactly what you heard and any sounds that occured also, note down names of other mindees if you heard her say them and also specific times. This info is essential to establish what happened as ofsted / ss will have your account and check her records and register to ensure they were indeed present at the time of the alleged incident, older children may well be interviewed by SS to also establish what happened. I would be surprised if a child of this age didn't tell it's parents what is going on. I would approach the authorities in the first instance, ss have 24 / 7 contact lines if they deam the incident to be sufficiently serious they will act asap in effect safeguarding these mindees, I wouldn't try to contact parents remember you have to live their and if you contact ss they will act very quickly and interventions will be made professionally and you will be out of the loop.

It must be very hard for you to have to witness these events it must be so tempting not to go round and say something I don't know if I could have heard that and not reacted to this CM.

danthe4th Mon 20-Jul-09 17:45:48

OMG thats awful, I would write down everything and make a complaint to ofsted.But don't spy on her you could find that would backfire and also drive you nuts. Someone must know the childs parents in which case I would tell them. If she only minds older children now she may well not be on the voluntary register in which case she could slip through the net. If you are really concerned I would ring social services at least it is then recorded. Surely the older child would be able to say something unless its a friend of his mothers and then it may be worth speaking to the school if its still open.

littleducks Mon 20-Jul-09 19:49:08

Has school broken up yet? If not could you put a note in Bills bookbag if he is in the same class as ds asking mum to call you (like a playdate in case cm sees)

In fact could you not go into school and tell them?

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 20-Jul-09 20:09:52

you can not let this continue - it is abuse,mental and possibly phyical if she does smack/kick him

if bill is in your sons class, then maybe you can get him round for a play and chat to mum what you see/hear

surely you must have a class list of names and numbers?

if not then watch out of window/bribe your ds too wink and then when he sees bills mum, pop out for a chat with her

does the cm act the same to bills sister - surely she would stick up for him ?

and all this happened at 7.15am?

frAKKINPannikin Mon 20-Jul-09 20:31:27

Is Bill friendly enough with your DS to invite him over for a playdate?

This woman sounds HORRIBLE and needs reporting to OFSTED but I can see the problems with evidence.

MrsMcCluskey Mon 20-Jul-09 20:34:51

Ring social services
Ring school and explain you need to contact Bill's Mum and tell them why.
What a nasty woman

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