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Quick one for nannies: going to nanny picnics

(23 Posts)
MollFlounders Wed 01-Jul-09 08:06:52

Would appreciate a quick view from any nannies out there. My nanny wants to go with DD (8 months) to a "nanny picnic" today. She knows a couple of the nannies going. The thing is, the park the picnic is at is a long way from here- it could be up to 1.5 hours on public transport on such a hot day. On the other hand, there are fab local parks and ponds just a short stroll from where we live. I understand that our nanny probably wants some social contact (our local playgroup is closed for the summer) so I'm relaxed about her going (relatively, although I wish it wasn't so far away). DH doesn't want her to go and says she should just spend the day as per usual going to the local parks. But she will be by herself, and I'm more sympathetic to that having been at home with DD by myself for months (now back at FT work). DH says, well it's her job and DD's comfort/safety is the priority (of course I agree, but it's just a picnic). Any views on what's reasonable? DD is our PFB as you can tell....

LouLovesAeroplaneJelly Wed 01-Jul-09 08:37:26

As a nanny I know that the job is incredibly lonely and that any adult contact is a blessing. However given that the weather is ridiculously hot, the public transport airconditioning is pathetic and that trains and the tracks can break due to the heat, I as a nanny would stay home today. Even though I would love to meet and see other nannies sometimes the drama that it could cause is not worth the hassle of a hot tired and cranky baby.

aGalChangedHerName Wed 01-Jul-09 08:37:43

I wouldn't have a problem. I am a CM and i am off to a CM outing today. I would hate to be on my own with the dc all day.

aGalChangedHerName Wed 01-Jul-09 08:40:45

I appreciate tho that she is your employee and you can decide what you want her to do with your dd.

limonchik Wed 01-Jul-09 09:12:50

Is it 1.5 hours each way, or there and back? And by "up to" 1.5 hours do you think it'll probably be less than that? I've lived in a hotter country than this and taken a baby on an hour+ train ride for a day out.

To be honest, I think you need to trust your nanny's judgement. I've known nannies with quite controlling bosses and it causes resentment.

MollFlounders Wed 01-Jul-09 09:30:35

Thanks everyone for the quick responses. I know from my own time at home with DD just how lonely you do get day in day out, even when you're at home with your own DC. I think that's why I think it's fine whereas DH, who has not had that experience, doesn't understand. Our nanny is fab and I wouldn't want to annoy her by being a nightmare controlling mum. Limonchik - it's up to 1.5 hours each way. It's a bit of a planes, trains and automobiles type journey as there are no direct train or bus links. Still, I do trust my nanny's judgement so I think I will let her decide whether it's the best thing to do today.

AtheneNoctua Wed 01-Jul-09 11:45:30

I think you will do more damage to the nanny/employer relationship than it is worth if you tell her she can't go to this picnic. She might feel you are micromanaging her -- and she'd probably be right. As a nanny employer, I try to honour any plans the nanny has already made. I wouldn't like it if I had plans, and they were squashed at the last minute... especially if all I was doing was going to a picnic.

And I don't think an hour and a half of public transportation is a threat to your DD's safety -- assuming no terrorists blow the bus/train up.

MollFlounders Wed 01-Jul-09 11:52:02

Athene I agree, thanks. She has gone

egmontmum Wed 01-Jul-09 12:49:07

And perhaps next time she could arrange the picnic in one of the parks that is more convenient

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 01-Jul-09 13:00:47

i too agree that 1.5 is a long time to travel, esp on hot days, though i drive and mb happy for me to drive anywhere, and i have done 1.5hrs+ in car to go to zoo/beach etc but much easier in car as go from a to b

the only thing i would say, does she not have any local friends who can meet her in a local park - travelling 1.5hrs each time to meet friends seems abit mad to me

limonchik Wed 01-Jul-09 13:37:02

Sounded like it was a one off/special event to me - can't imagine the nanny would want to go that far every day.

nannyL Wed 01-Jul-09 19:34:19

i would not travel 1.5 hours to meet other nannies... luckily i dont have to as i have lots with 20min drive
i would also not even consider traveling 1.5 hours on public transport during such boiling hot weather.

personally i dont think its unreasonable to expect your nanny not to travel 1.5 hours for a picnic...

agree though that nannies NEED nanny friends and interation with other nannies etc...
I see one friend or another every single day!

FabBakerGirlIsBack Wed 01-Jul-09 19:47:31

It would have been too far in too hot weather for me tbh.

As a regular occurance 3 hours round trip is just too much imo.

MollFlounders Wed 01-Jul-09 19:57:27

Agree it shouldn't be a regular occurrence- there was some one-off children's party in the park apparently. Anyway, they went and they were fine. When I came home from work DD was as happy as can be and I think they'd had a nice day out. I'm finding it hard, especially with a PFB and still having my "nanny employer" training wheels on, to judge the difference (at times) between reasonable direction and controlling micromanagement. I guess you just have to do your best. It's been really helpful to see the mix of views here though

nannynick Wed 01-Jul-09 20:21:24

As a nanny I regularly travel quite long distances to places - not usually to meet other people as my friends like staying within about a 20 mile radius. I do use my car not public transport... so we have air-con on our outings in this weather.

If I were your nanny... I wouldn't have done 1.5 hour journey by public transport in this heat. But I would have driven.

Sometimes it is best just to go with the flow. Your DD was happy, your nanny was happy... sounds like it went great.

MollFlounders Wed 01-Jul-09 22:28:29

I should just add to this to say that we live in Central London- the ridiculous thing is she probably only travelled about 8 miles max, it's just that the transport links from where we live to where we went are useless. Anyway, it was just a one-off and I hope she hooks into the nanny network that does exist a bit closer to where we live. I'm trying to help with that

nannyL Wed 01-Jul-09 23:07:50

where in london are you out of interest?

i regualry travel 10 - 15 miles, even up to 50 miles but it only takes an hour!

MollFlounders Fri 03-Jul-09 07:53:55

we are not close to the tube so what takes the time is getting buses through C London traffic plus having to change buses along the way

BradfordMum Fri 03-Jul-09 08:34:06

8 miles? In that case, did you not think of suggesting a taxi there and back?!
If I was as concerned about the travelling time I would have happily suggested and paid for the taxi.
Anyway, your dd has survived so all is well!

(this wasn't meant to be a get at You post and I apologise if it comes over as that!)

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 03-Jul-09 08:56:19

8miles and took 1.5hrs OMG

a taxi would have been much easier!!!

i see nannys that distance away from me,some further but then i work up a country lane , in the middle of nowhere in a small hamlet smile

plus i drive, would have to,a bus wouldnt fit up my lane grin

AtheneNoctua Fri 03-Jul-09 11:14:08

I think I can run 8 miles in an hour and a half. shock

Of course not with a baby in tow and not in this heat.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 03-Jul-09 14:57:38

ATHENE omg - you can run 8miles in 90mins shock

athene puts blonde to shame blush

though do the 5k run and have done that in 36mins so maybe i could grin

RachieB Fri 03-Jul-09 20:05:24

I would not have wanted to travel for 3 hours round trip with a baby in the heat ,on public transport!

and as a patent wouldn't have been happy TBH

Can she not make friends with other local childcarers ? try posting on coffee house ( local board) or the meet a "mum" page

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