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my host family have cancelled!

(75 Posts)
italyhereicome Sun 21-Jun-09 09:00:12

I arrived here on June 15th (last monday). The grandmother has been ill, they knew that she was coming to live with them before I came. That is WHY they needed my help with the little boy.
On Friday evening, the father takes me aside and tells me that things have changed, and that the grandmother is worse than they thought, and that there is no room here for me anymore.
I gave up my flat in Birmingham to have a year in Italy. There is not much room at my parents house, so my mum is not very happy at me coming home to say the least!
Should I ask them to pay for some of the airfare or what?
I understand that she is ill, but this as screwed me up big time.

italyhereicome Sun 21-Jun-09 09:02:18

jeekuz. that is awful!!
I arrived here on June 15th, the grandmother has been ill, but they knew that before I came, that is why i was coming.

italyhereicome Sun 21-Jun-09 09:03:16

dear god. it does make sense in the first place. they knew she was coming to live with them.

i need coffee.

and cake

Millarkie Sun 21-Jun-09 09:28:40

How much notice have they given you to leave? Can you find another family in that time? Is there an equivalent to gumtree in Italy that you could shove a quick ad onto? Or could they contact a local aupair agency and see if you could go onto their books for a quick placement?

italyhereicome Sun 21-Jun-09 09:48:40

I have to leave by Friday, if not before.

I have been back on au-pair world, and am in contact with quite a few french families, one of which I spoke to last night, and shall be doing so again on Skype tonight. But this isn't to start until August. So I shall have to go home, and have no money! As getting a job for a month is a bit of a joke!
Am so annoyed!

gio71 Sun 21-Jun-09 09:56:13

I saw your posting on the Little Italy site, I hope you get sorted. Have you seen the AngloINFO sites? May be worth a post on the forums there? There are ones for Rome, Milan, Tuscany and Liguria plus loads in France. and so on....
Good luck!

Summersoon Sun 21-Jun-09 10:37:43

Have they offered to pay you in lieu? Don't know anything about Italian law, but morally they should offer you some money in lieu plus the airfare home.

Sorry to have about your problem!

Weegle Sun 21-Jun-09 11:09:06

Sorry it hasn't worked out - at the very least I think they should be paying you 2 weeks pocket money and your flight home.

Millarkie Sun 21-Jun-09 12:06:17

Have you any form of contract with them? For what it's worth our AP contract says that if we need to terminate our agreement for reasons other than gross misconduct we will pay 3 weeks notice - in reality I'm sure we would also pay flight's home, and do everything we could to find AP a suitable replacement family.

catepilarr Sun 21-Jun-09 12:47:30

oh dear, i feel for. you! hope you manage to find another family be it through an agency, adverts, interent or whatever. i dont think its nice from the family to tell you to leave so soon. i would be tempted to think there is something else behind the situation than the ill granny.
can yo afford to stay in a hostel or something while you search for new family? would save the airfair plus you might be able to see the potential families face to face.

frAKKINPannikin Sun 21-Jun-09 13:30:59

I think I know a family in France who want an AP to start ASAP. E-mail me: englishgoverness at gmail dot com

And if not there are plenty of people in Paris seeking APs. It's not Italy though

italyhereicome Sun 21-Jun-09 21:56:11

They have offered to pay for half of my airfare. I don't really have much money, as I was intending on saving most of my E100p/wk like I have done so far. But I haven't accumulated much yet obv!
No, she is actually ill. She has a brain tumour. I have been to the hospital with the family.
Part of me feels guilty because I know it's not really their fault, but the other half of me is really annoyed. I gave up loads to come out heree, and she even begged me to come earlier than originally planned.
Ideally I would like them to pay the whole airfare (about £100) but I don't even know how to say that. Any ideas???
No, there is no contract. I arrived on the monday, and was told on the friday, so wasn't even a week into my stay!
Chances are I will end up going to Paris as I have been in contact with a family from there. But they dont need me till August!
Frakkin, thanks, I will email you in a min!

catepilarr Sun 21-Jun-09 22:30:35

b* not a very good situatin to be put in? i think its cheeky of them not to pay you the airfare back home in these circumstances.the bad thing is that the nanny and ap market in the uk is the biggest and while it would have been possible to find a new family there quite quickly, i imagine in italy the chances are a lot less. are they at least trying to find you something else?

catepilarr Sun 21-Jun-09 22:32:28

i think even without a contract a two weeks notice or two weeks pocket money should be the norm?

italyhereicome Mon 22-Jun-09 08:04:22

No they have not tried to find me somewhere else. I was literally told 'there is no room for you here now, the situation has changed. you need to go home by at the latest this time next week' literally.
when he asked if i had booked my flight yet, he said, we shall have to get it booked, we will pay half.

I think i am going to approach today saying-
can we book my flight please? I really would appreciate it if you and wife could pay for it, as I have given up a lot to be here, and it is very short notice.

How does that sound? then maybe throw in the bit that au-pair world says that if the aupair is asked to leave before the time designated, then the airfare home should be paid by the family.

Does this sound alright?

LoveMyGirls Mon 22-Jun-09 08:13:23

Just be honest say you have given up your home to be there and you have no money to pay for a flight home as you only just arrived so if they w2ant you to go they will need to pay your flight costs.

frAKKINPannikin Mon 22-Jun-09 08:37:23

Do apprach them and say that - they need to pay your way out of there. Preferably back to your home city but equally if you find somewhere to go to then they could pay your way there.

If you end up coming to Paris let me know!

italyhereicome Mon 22-Jun-09 11:00:08

Ok, so it gets worse.
I have 2 suitcses. 20kg in each. BA is who i flew out with. flight was about £50 + £30 flat rate for my second suitcase.

He is faffing about looking at easyjet, bmi, lufthansa, ryanair. beacause the 'flights are cheap' however they charge E10p/kg for the extra baggage.
My BA flight home would cost me inc 2nd bag about E200.
He says that is too expensive.
They are not poor ppl (lawyer, consultant).

I said what i was going to say above, that it has cost a lot for me to come out here, my flight, insurance, i left my job early, i still paid for the rest of the months rent on my house at home, and he turned round and said that he is OFFERING to pay half, and that as their is no contract he doesn't have to.
just feel like crying.


italyhereicome Mon 22-Jun-09 11:46:18

ok. so now i am upset and crying.

After talking to his wife he says that they will pay E100 towards my flight. no more.
He says I can work for 2 weeks if I want 2 weeks notice, but then I shall get E200 and no flight money.
However after arguing and being upset, I really want to leave now.

He said I chose to come to Italy, and that he is under no obligation to give me pay-in-lieu or my flight home, it is just a gentlemans agreement, and that he is just being kind offereing me E100

italyhereicome Mon 22-Jun-09 11:47:22

have just looked at a previous post, air fare is nearly £200 not £100. sorry

evuscha Mon 22-Jun-09 12:24:34

OMG, I feel for you - so unfair and rude! ( Unfortunately without a contract I imagine you really can´t do anything about it (and as a lawyer he probably knows that pretty well), just really shocked about their attitude after what you have done in order to help them (
Anyway, I tried googling "italy" at gumtree and it came up with some ads in nanny/babysitting section so maybe you could try to email those families, greataupair and aupairworld also surely have some families available, so keep on trying.
If you do manage to go to Paris, it might be cheaper by bus ( says 80E)
Good luck!!!

poshtottie Mon 22-Jun-09 12:25:31

do you have a credit card?

If I was you I would book yourself on the first flight out of there and get home.

This family are been totally unreasonable in the circumstances and they should pay for the flight.

poshtottie Mon 22-Jun-09 12:34:53

There was a mumsnetter called rupertsabear who was looking for a temp in Rome from the end of this week until August.

ninedragons Mon 22-Jun-09 12:52:39

Did you get the job through an agency? You should make sure this family are blacklisted.

Unbelievable. Of course they should pay for your whole fare.

ninedragons Mon 22-Jun-09 12:53:14

And teach the little boy how to say "cunt" before you leave.

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