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Really offended by this!!

(89 Posts)
aGalChangedHerName Fri 12-Jun-09 08:11:06

Do i need to get over myself about this??

Had a call from a potential new parent. Perfect age (3 years) perfect hours and mum seemed lovely on the phone. Chatted briefly about my current minded children and a bit about my family etc. Seemed really keen so all good.

Arranged to meet with parents, had a text on the morning of the visit from mum saying that she wasn't coming as her dp didn't want to have his dd cared for by me as i had young boys in my home. I couldn't understand it and texted her to ask did she mean my ds's??? Yep she said. I mean WTF???

She hadn't even met my dc or myself or DH. My ds's are actually pretty fab and my current parents love my dc. Ds1 is 17.7 and had a Disclosure and ds2 is at school and is 13.6.

I was pretty offended and can't believe that a parent would make a decision like that without even meeting someone. I could understand it if they met us and didn't click iykwim? But jeez what a loon!!

PuppyMonkey Fri 12-Jun-09 08:18:44

What's a Disclosure?

HecatesTwopenceworth Fri 12-Jun-09 08:21:25

CRB disclosure - shows if you have any convictions etc.

clearly the father thinks every male is potentially an abuser.

Yup. Loon.

MadamAnt Fri 12-Jun-09 08:24:28

God what a sad perspective her DP has on fellow humans. Utter loon - be glad you're shot of them.

aGalChangedHerName Fri 12-Jun-09 08:26:47

Yes i am glad not to have taken them on but just need to know that he is a loon from other folk i suppose. Ach well here's hoping the next call is from someone normal lol wink

twelveyeargap Fri 12-Jun-09 08:26:54

Bit strange. My minder's teenage son flashed at me when I was a kid. It didn't worry me, (and my children's minder has teenage sons in the house), but maybe she had some bad experience. You never know.

Summerfruit Fri 12-Jun-09 08:29:12

Disgusting - That would have hurt my feelings too for you.

PuppyMonkey Fri 12-Jun-09 08:29:29

Ok, yes. Loony it is then. Lucky escape I'd say. grin

Summerfruit Fri 12-Jun-09 08:30:43

I meant sad for you.

Nighbynight Fri 12-Jun-09 08:46:00

Does her dh come from a very traditional background, possibly (but not certainly) a Muslim country? If so, then older boys in the house is a definite no. It's simply a culture clash, they don't mean to be rude or insult you personally.

Tanith Fri 12-Jun-09 08:52:40

Don't take it to heart. It's just another potential client who decided not to use you. You could waste hours feeling hurt and angry and why should you be the one to feel upset?

I once had a mum ring to cancel because she'd decided she'd have to make too many right turns getting to my house! I just hope I never meet her on the road!

JenniPenni Fri 12-Jun-09 09:06:19

'I once had a mum ring to cancel because she'd decided she'd have to make too many right turns getting to my house! I just hope I never meet her on the road! '

smile smile smile

aGalChangedHerName Fri 12-Jun-09 09:45:22

LOL Tanith that's even dafter then mine!!

Nighbynight not Muslim afaik.

You are all right but i had considered the fact that something may have happened to either one of them as children.

Oh well i hope they get someone nice for their dd anyway.

tommypickles Fri 12-Jun-09 10:03:32

I had someone cancel cos my house was too far from her house........3 mins door to door!!

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 12-Jun-09 10:59:06

how strange

i could understand if she/they had met your family

i wouldnt worry about it, their loss not yours

do all cms if have children/other adults in house older than 16 have to have a crb?

so dh/dp etc?

dmo Fri 12-Jun-09 11:37:24

yes everyone who is a resident in a cm home and is over age of 16 needs a crb check

tommypickles Fri 12-Jun-09 13:59:38

Also I think it's any over 16 that is going to be around them for more than 2 hours a week ( I think it's 2 hours), so if you for example had a cleaner regularly while you are working or your parents/family member visits every week for a while. They don't have to live with you.

aGalChangedHerName Fri 12-Jun-09 14:01:46

I had a cleaner but she didn't have to have a Disclosure according to my CCO.

Blu Fri 12-Jun-09 14:07:52

I have never come across a muslim family who would react like that over teenage boys in the house while a child of 3 was childminded. And plenty who would be quite happy.

Some people clearly over-react re perceived risk. Don't be offended - it isn't YOU, it's his issues.

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 12-Jun-09 14:16:04

so tech a cleaner or gardener may need to be crbed then>

if you were a cm and rich lucky enough to have both smile

IwishIwasmoreorganised Fri 12-Jun-09 14:25:50

What a loon! Hope she finds someone to mind her dd that meets her (and her dh's) list of requirements!

wombleprincess Fri 12-Jun-09 14:31:44

okay so flame me but i would have been a bit uncomfortable with a 17.7 year old boy being in the house.

SusieDerkins Fri 12-Jun-09 14:34:39

Why? Because all 17 year old boys are paedophiles?




<tears hair out>

<shakes head>

wombleprincess Fri 12-Jun-09 14:38:15

no, because 17 years olds still need ALOT of looking after and can be very stroppy/aggressive/loud/noisy/messy/dirty. I would also be concerned with them bringing lots of other 17 year old boys home which you cannot control.

underpaidandoverworked Fri 12-Jun-09 14:50:37

Womble, what a load of drivel........hmm

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