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Sorry another one about au pair accommodation

(15 Posts)
clutteredup Fri 05-Jun-09 14:28:48

We have a strange house with 2 en suites and no family bathroom. We have an en suite and the children use the other one , unless we have guests and then they use ours. If we had an au pair we could give her an en suite but would like her to use that bathroom when she is on duty bathing the DC. We of course would bath them in our bathroom if she was off duty.
Would this be unreasonable or would she expect to have the bathroom all to herself? The children have a second loo so only use the bathroom to bath in.

BonsoirAnna Fri 05-Jun-09 14:30:13

Could you not put the children in the bedroom with the second en suite bathroom, and expect the au pair to use that bathroom?

BonsoirAnna Fri 05-Jun-09 14:32:38

It would seem (though of course this is hard to judge unless one has seen your house) that it might be easier to expect the AP to walk through the children's bedroom to use their bathroom than to expect the AP to put up with children walking through her bedroom to use her bathroom. I think AP's need personal space (it's quite hard living in someone else's family) and I think that the AP ought to take the decision as to whether her bedroom is out of bounds to the children.

BonsoirAnna Fri 05-Jun-09 14:33:39

We also only have en suite bathrooms. Grrrrr.

clutteredup Fri 05-Jun-09 14:33:43

We have 3 DC they wouldn't all fit in that room.

clutteredup Fri 05-Jun-09 14:35:19

I see your point about the privacy aspect - that's what would concern me - but the option would be for her to go through our bedroom which might not be any better. Obviously we wouldn't use the bathroom.

clutteredup Fri 05-Jun-09 14:37:54

I could move DS but we haven't been here long and he's rather attached to his new room - of his own - it might put him off the whole thing - but I suppose the other option is getting them to share again.
Can you get au pairs for term time only?

BonsoirAnna Fri 05-Jun-09 14:38:41

So you have three bedrooms, one of which has no bathroom and two of which have en suite bathrooms? And the largest bedroom is the one with no bathroom (hence three children in it?)

I think you have to give the AP the en suite in that case and expect your children to use your bathroom, unless your AP kindly offers to bathe your children in her bathroom.

clutteredup Fri 05-Jun-09 14:46:01

No we have 4 bedrooms, 2 ensuite and 2 for the 3 DC - I was thinking I'd have to put all of them in together but you're right I could move DS into the en suite that would work - you're right it wouldn't be reasonable to expect her to use her ensuite for the children. The problem would be using the bathroom at night as she wouldn't be able to use the bathroom after DS went to bed as it would disturb him. there is a loo and basin available for cleaning teeth but no late night baths or showers.

clutteredup Fri 05-Jun-09 14:47:12

Its just too complicated and any other kind of child care is going to be too difficult - ie early starts for both me and DH. Hmmm back to the drawing board.

willowthewispa Fri 05-Jun-09 14:50:30

Why couldn't the au pair bath the children in your bathroom?

Au pair has one bathroom, you and the children use your bathroom.

clutteredup Fri 05-Jun-09 16:34:04

That would be the other option I suppose - it just means that then we lose our privacy . I guess you lose that anyway if you have an au pair and given we don't live in a city I suppose we need to make the whole thing desirable.

Thank you.

BonsoirAnna Fri 05-Jun-09 17:30:43

Put whichever child goes to bed latest and/or sleeps deepest on his/her own in the en suite bed/bath. The au pair won't be the first or last not to be able to take a bath at any time of her choosing.

FWIW DD often sleeps in our bed and is quite used to DP taking a bath with the en suite bathroom door open into our room. Your DC might not be as disturbed as all that by your AP sneaking in to the bathroom late at night.

catepilarr Fri 05-Jun-09 20:56:57

to have a bathroom of your own as an ap/nanny is nice /for both sides/ but not a necessity.

in most families i worked for i went into parents' bedroom. usually just to hoover, or to put ironed clothes by the door. but sometimes i also bathed the children in parents ensuite. but i understand you dont like this idea as i personally dont like it either when someone goes into my room which is usually not tidy and presentable.
on the other hand, i also lived in a family, where the children were a bit nasty in a way so if i had to go into a bathroom through their bedroom i would certainly not be liked and they would make my life difficult. shouldnt be a problem if your children are small /or older but dont mind the idea - you could ask what would they suggest ;)/.

TimeFlys Fri 05-Jun-09 22:19:29

Its your DCs so share your bathroom with them - make your ensuite the family bathroom.
How do you expect an AP(stranger) to want to do this when your not willing to.

some parents!

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