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I'm not sure I'm happy with my CM for doing this?!

(43 Posts)
grumblinalong Tue 02-Jun-09 12:22:08

I need advice from those of you who are childminders and any parents who use CM's for childcare.

What are your views on leaving your mindees with other people e.g your partner/members of your family whilst you run errands which will take you approx 30-40 mins. Is this common, accepted practice?

I'm asking because a situation arose this morning where our childminder was not there at drop off and I had to leave my DS2 (18 months) with her DH and I'm trying to work out if I'm being precious because it felt weird and DS2 was upset. The other mindee was there also. Any thoughts?

Lizzylou Tue 02-Jun-09 12:26:57

Umm, not allowed I don't think.
In these situations my CM has her Mother to cover who is CRB checked and included on her CM agreement (however that is done).

LisaD1 Tue 02-Jun-09 12:34:43


I'm a CM and would not do this! We are not even allowed to do such a thing without your (the parents) express permission and even then it would have to be an emergency. If I had an errand that was so important I would always try to arrnage it when I don't have mindees (not always easy) or just take the little ones with me (as long as it was an approriate errand such as a trip to the shop which can be turned into a fun activity).

I think you should speak with your CM and express that you were not happy and do not want it to happen again.

On a poistove note her DH would be CRB checked if she is a registered minder as they check all over 16's in the household.

mollythetortoise Tue 02-Jun-09 12:39:20

i wouldn't be happy with this. My CM did leave my dd with her dh once or twice but only with my permission beforehand and not right at start of day. if an errand is that urgent , surely her dh could have done it. I would mention it briefly but not make too much of a fuss, just say you would prefer advance notice. I guess it depends what she went off to do.. if absolute emergency (e.g emergency doctor appt for her or her dc) then I would accept it was unavoidable on this occasion.

funnypeculiar Tue 02-Jun-09 12:40:57

My CM has, on very rare occasions, had to take her dd to the hospital and on those occassions asked me whether I was happy for dd to stay with her(cm's) mum (a registered nanny) or go with cm to the hospital. I would not be happy with this being done on an ad hoc basis, and would certainly say I was not happy. At the very least, she should have pre-warned you, imho.

I'm pretty sure it would invalidate her insurance, should anything go wrong.

grumblinalong Tue 02-Jun-09 12:42:50

Her errand was walking her dc's to school, so it wasn't an emergency. I'm just a bit hmm that knowing my ds is a bit nervous at most drop off's (he only goes one day a week so finds it hard) she went anyway. Unless she thought he might react better to drop off with her DH? But he's not the registered CM though, she is. I'll have to check my agreement to see if she's put him down as a listed person. I'm pretty sure she hasn't.

HaventSleptForAYear Tue 02-Jun-09 12:43:02

I know a lot of people won't be happy with this but my childminder does this (has checked with me beforehand, but obviously not EVERY time she does it).

When the DS were babies she would only do it if they wanted to nap when the other kids needed to be taken back to school.

Now that DS2 is 2.4 and knows her family well (her DD babysits for us) she will occasionally leave him with her DD or her mum.

I would be a bit put-out to arrive and find the cm not there, without prior arrangement.

I like to go through the boring fascinating details of DS's day with her to find out if he's likely to want to go to bed early, eat much dinner etc.

LoveMyGirls Tue 02-Jun-09 12:50:47

I don't understand why she didn't send her dh to take their dc's to school.

I wouldn't have left my son there without the cm being there, I'd have waited for her to get back and told her it's not on tbh.

I can see how in some cases it would be easier to leave some children at home with your dh/ your mum but at the end of the day we don't do this job to make our lives easier do we, we are being paid to care for the child. I would never do this even though all mindee's know my mum quite well I would never leave them with her while I went on the school run.

leonifay Tue 02-Jun-09 12:51:41

i've done this once, when it was raining really hard, we drove to pick up another mindee from nusery, but i decided rather than taking 2 lo out of the car and walking to nusery i would leave them in the car with dh and i would go. but i wouldnt do it under normal circumstances especially not over drop off or pick up.
talk to her, she may not realise that your not happy with it. she trusts her dh 100% and may forget you dont know him or trust him. iyswim

LittlePaws Tue 02-Jun-09 12:54:14

Is Hubby also a childminder or registered assistant, he will be CRB checked as all over 16 year old living with CM are. It may have been an emergency.
Personally I would not leave mindees with anyone unless it was a genuine emergency.

lizzyboo Tue 02-Jun-09 12:54:59

My CM's DH is listed as her assistant, he has been CRB checked and so has her adult son and daughter, the CM sometimes leaves DS age 3 with her DH but I agreed to it at the begining. He has even gone to her mums in an emergency but found the time to check it was ok first (all the children call CM's mum nanny). If you feel uneasy you should say, or look for a new CM and make sure you read the contract first

grumblinalong Tue 02-Jun-09 12:56:29

LoveMyGirls - I was thinking that, I shouldn't have left him, but was in a panic because I had to drop DS1 off at school. Plus I didn't want to come across as being precious because the other mindee was there. I was a bit shocked as well as I had no prior warning. I'll definitely speak to her. I have nothing against her husband, at all, but I haven't spoken to him at any length so don't know him well.

Stayingsunnygirl Tue 02-Jun-09 13:22:43

Why couldn't her dh have walked the children to school? That would have seemed the most sensible solution, unless he can't get about at the moment.

JenniPenni Tue 02-Jun-09 15:56:16

My mindees are with me and no-one else EVER, except if there was an emergency, then I'd have DH or my sister I could call as emergency back up - parents know them and have agreed to this. I have yet to leave them with anyone else but myself though as have never had an emergency.

Husband should have taken the kids for sure!

OrmIrian Tue 02-Jun-09 16:02:27

I wouldn't like it if she didn't check with me first and I didn't feel happy with the person in question. As it happens my CM did this sometimes but only after checking with me first.

cheerychapstick Tue 02-Jun-09 16:06:04

It wouldn't be an easy thing to say, but surely being a CM is a job with particular skills. I wouldn't ask my DH, wonderful as he is, to write out a quick contract for me while I take the DC to school, any more than he would get me to give one of his lectures. It seems odd to me that she feels that her DH can mind the kids for a bit.

The insurance point is also a very valid one.

FabulousBakerGirl Tue 02-Jun-09 16:15:03

I would have taken the younger one with me to drop off the child at school and then gone back.

IMO you will have to say something now or it will niggle you and she will think you are fine with it.

Tanith Tue 02-Jun-09 16:26:56

Sorry, I'm a bit confused. Surely the childminder has to take her DC to school every day? That's not an errand - that's an daily event.
Does she usually take your child with her? What would normally happen?

grumblinalong Tue 02-Jun-09 16:52:13

Tanith - her DH usually takes them to school. I asked if she had to do school runs the first time we went there and she said no.

FabulousBakerGirl Tue 02-Jun-09 16:55:44

Did she say why she had to this time?

ChippingIn Tue 02-Jun-09 17:35:37

TBH if I left my children with a childminder I would want it to be as much of an 'at home' environment as possible, therefore I'd like to at least meet her DH/children etc and if she was the sort to pop into her Mums all the time I'd be fine with that, but would like to meet her Mum (at some stage) too... but I do understand that not all people feel like this and unless you have this understanding then I think it's fair enough not to be impressed with her doing this, especially as it was only for a routing school run!

ramonaquimby Tue 02-Jun-09 17:38:24

nope, wouldn't be happy with this at all

thebody Tue 02-Jun-09 20:02:52

I have one parent who drops her two children to me in the morning, one to take to school and one to mind all day..
now I also have a commitment to pick up a mindee very near by, and sometimes the mum is late and misses me.. she then would have to wait in the car with the two children..

these children adore my dh, and my grown up dss, and I have registered my dh as my assistant. on the rare occasions she is late I will allow her to drop them with my dh. I am out for 10 mins max..

she is fine with that and all above board.. its the only time the mindees are allowed in the house without me being there though..

At the end of the day I provide a service for parents who pay me and I want to make their life easier without compromising childrens safety.. it can work but must be up front and sensible..

HSMM Wed 03-Jun-09 08:20:15

We're not allowed to do this, except in an emergency. I wanted my DH to be able to cover my sicknes, doctors visits etc, so I got him fully registered in his own right!

plimple Wed 03-Jun-09 08:25:40

He needs to be a "childminding assistant" and she needs your written permission to leave him in sole charge. Without this she is in breach of her registration and you can complain to Ofsted.

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