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Is this outrageous or what??

(10 Posts)
Tanzie Thu 05-May-05 20:54:31

One of my colleagues has a live-in mother's help (more than an au pair, slightly less than a nanny, tho she does do all the cleaning and cook the evening meal). She let it drop the other day that when she has a day off, she docks the mother's help's money as "she's not really working." She doesn't give the poor girl much notice, just says "I'm not working tomorrow" when she gets home at night, so it's not as if she can arrange to do anything else!

Xena Thu 05-May-05 21:13:35

Its a wonder she can keep anyone with that attitude.

mum2oliver Thu 05-May-05 21:18:26

Maybe you should be honest with her and tell her she is really taking the you know what!!
Wish I could tell her!

NannyL Thu 05-May-05 21:28:17


im a nanny and i would never 'have that'. My boss is great... i get loads of random days with less than 4 weeks notice so they simply dont count as my holiday! (when grandparents etc are down and want to have the kids, or when mu just wants to do a certain activity with them)
Equally when they are home early i leave early.

I have to say i think my boss is the best! she will bend over backwards for me and i will do anything i can to help her out too!

motherinferior Thu 05-May-05 21:29:21

god, I hope her MH walks out on her at the most inconvenient moment, don't you?

Caligula Thu 05-May-05 21:29:35

She sounds like the employer from hell.

Tanzie Thu 05-May-05 22:30:17

MI - yes, I do, her MH is lovely and she pays her about half of the going rate . Tight is not the word. She also left an 18 year old au pair in charge of her 5 year old DD for a week when DD had chicken pox and she buggered off ski-ing. I've told her she is taking the piss and she just said, well, MH knows where the door is if she doesn't like it!

Bugsy2 Fri 06-May-05 15:00:41

What annoys me about people like your colleague Tanzie, is that when something really awful happens to their children because they left them in the care of inadequately qualified or mature people, is that they are the first to point the finger of blame at the carer they choose. Grrrrr, makes me mad.
My AuPair worked 50 hours a week for her previous "employer", left in sole charge overnight and responsible for 3 children & 3 dogs. Don't know how people can live with themselves when they "employ" fellow human beings on this basis!!!

motherinferior Fri 06-May-05 18:46:02

Does she actually care about her daughter, do you think? I know we all take decisions about childcare, and sometimes those can look quite odd to an outsider - there are elements of my kids' childcare that could look appallingly lax to someone who didn't appreciate that they've been with the same person since DD1 was four months old, and I trust her totally (they are also things she used to check with me, and now assumes, rightly, that I won't mind!). But leaving a sick child with a very young woman just isn't fair, to anyone.

goldenoldie Sat 07-May-05 08:45:34

Sounds a bit fishy to me. Why is the girl putting up with this - is she being well paid, or is she unable to find another job? Au-pairs/mother's helps are not stupid. They only stay if there is something in it for them.

A friend of mine had an au-pair agency, and yes, some families did try it on, but not for long because unless the girl was well paid, or had very limited English, they did not stay around - they knew there were plenty of other jobs out there.

So why does this girl stay - must be something very good to put up with that sort of treatment, or she is not the full shilling................

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