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Mindees that don't come with enough layers?!

(36 Posts)
soon2befamilyof4 Mon 09-Feb-09 10:35:41

I have and 18month old mindee who I have on and off for a mum who does shift work. Anyway, it is so cold here and all he wears is a vest with a jumper over the top. So it is too cold inside to take his jumper off and just wear a vest, which means he has no extra layers at all to put on when we go out?

This was the same last week when we had loads of snow!

soon2befamilyof4 Mon 09-Feb-09 10:38:13

Sorry, meant to ask, do you say anything to the parents? They are quite defensive and obviously it is their child? But it is a PITA when I want to go out and worried about getting too cold for him!

Flightattendant12 Mon 09-Feb-09 10:39:57

I don't know tbh - i'm not a CM btw, but this sounds so sad, poor little boy.

Perhaps they are defensive as they can't afford a coat for him?

If it were me I would just let him use one of my sons' coats and not mention it again, unless i thought he was being neglected at home in which case I'd have to inform someone.

Maveta Mon 09-Feb-09 10:45:07

I presume he does actually have a coat but you mean he should have a long sleeved top or something as an extra under-layer?

Not a CM but I would think it would be alright to just ask the parents to pack a long sleeved top in with his change of clothes as an extra layer in case he needs it?

I have this worry in summer where it is very hot and I am not sure how cool or hot the nursery is and therefore how I should dress him. I would always hope they would tell me if they felt his clothes were inappropriate in some way as the most important thing is that he is comfortable.

Mummyfor3 Mon 09-Feb-09 10:45:54

Hi, soon2be, my DS 1-3 all go to the same childminder for the last 5 1/2 years. I like her (obviouslysmile) and trust her judgement, so personally I would welcome being told that there was something missing for my kids.
Could you maybe just make a comment about the current inclement weather and state that you need another layer for him to go out?
Like I said, I would not be offended at all.

Just read Flightattendant's post: she has a good point there, this had not occured to me. Do you know the family's circumstances? How about another jumper/fleece/hoodie, anything to keep him warm..

Flightattendant12 Mon 09-Feb-09 10:49:35

School asked me to make sure ds1 has a coat every day, as they can't always let them out to play if they haven't one. I was really blush as I usually got him to wear one but often he resists jumpers and I didn't want to push it as he was actually willing to wear a jumper that day!!

Maybe the mum is just forgetful and felt you might be criticising her parenting - some people get like that when they are embarrassed.

Do you have any spares you could let him wear?

nannyL Mon 09-Feb-09 10:58:13

could you say the hall you go to for toddler group always seems to be extra cold and you need him to have an extra top

also you could have a new policy that ALL children have a spare set of clothes at yours, which muct include vest / t shirt / jumper / trousers / socks etc, so you could then use those

soon2befamilyof4 Mon 09-Feb-09 11:02:26

Well his "Jumper" could be classed as a coat, it is sort of in between the 2. But I can't really take it off and leave him in a vest all day at home can I? DD has a vest and then log sleeved t-shirt on and I have a cardi etc on myself. But if I leave his coat/jumper thing on then he won't have anything extra to wear. Although saying this, he also has turned up with no nappies or spare clothes today too.

They can def affort it - they have a cleaner every day of the week as well as paying for loads of luxuries etc.

I have clothes here but all pink! Although can obviously wear these when needed. And for the school run in the morning, most days we are ready in the car waiting to go when he gets here so I don't have time to faff around but it does mean going out in the cold.

nannyL Mon 09-Feb-09 11:26:25

have you just asked the mum to dress him in more layers?

or what about a coat for if its raining?

missymoo2411 Mon 09-Feb-09 11:42:09

id send a lette to all mindee parents regarding the recent weather could all children please have extra warm tops due to getting wet when playing in the snow or u could
say i can buy t shirts but i wikll have to bill u . when i went to our local sure start i bought a few second hand tops from the baby bootique just in case
poor little kid good luck

2pt4kids Mon 09-Feb-09 11:47:05

Have you said anything to the Mum?

I dress my 11 month in vests and jumpers. Thats the perfect combination to ensure he is warm enough in my house.
Perhaps the Mum just assumes your house is a simular temperature.

Next time she drops him off just say 'Oh, have you got his coat in the car too? We're off out today to play in the snow!' and if she doesnt have it, just say never mind and ask her to bring it next time and 'Oh while we're speaking of clothes, do you mind leaving a couple of spare T shirts here too as sometimes its a bit warm indoors to wear jumpers but not cool enough for just a vest. Thanks!'

Much nicer than a formal letter 'reminding' parents to dress their children appropriately!

SammyK Mon 09-Feb-09 12:11:31

I have posted this problem myself OP, I have two siblings (a baby and a preschooler) that come in just a Tshirt (no vest or jumper), also sometimes in shorts with tights and party shoes. It is very frustrating especially as they keep getting colds, bugs, chest infections etc. Mum has started asking me to keep them in so they don't get anything else. hmm It is hard to broach without causing offence.

I usually (and have today), asked for spare clothing, a list including a jumper/cardi.

soon2befamilyof4 Mon 09-Feb-09 12:47:19

She usually sends a spare set of clothes with him - so having spares isn't really an option.

No I haven't asked her to dress him in an extra layer - thats what I am asking on here, how do i ask when they are very defensive.

Yes a vest and jumper is fine inside 2pt4kids - BUT the jumper thing is meant to be his "coat". I say jumper but it is like a zip up thing that I am pretty sure they are using as his "coat" and want me to take it off inside. My heating has been on since 7am - but it is still not vest weather. It would need to be summer just to wear a vest, surely?

SammyK Mon 09-Feb-09 12:51:13

What do you have sent as a spare set?

I would just layer him up with his vest, spare top, etc, and if he has an accident/spill then put him in the pink stuff!

If you kept adding a layer and mentioned it in passing to mum 'oh x was a bit cold when I took his coat off so I put his spare top on top of his vest', she may cotton on without becoming offended.

lisalisa Mon 09-Feb-09 12:57:46

As a mum I would assume that a vest and jumper were adequate layers at a cm unless I knew that they were going to be outside ( presume he has coat as well). In fact I may be worried about sending him wiht more layers as he would obviously get hot in a centrally heated house and cm may not take layers off. So just mention to mum that you have outdoor activities planned and can she send extra layers. Should not have thought it controversial or thread worthy at all unless there are other issues?

soon2befamilyof4 Mon 09-Feb-09 12:59:57

No he doesn't have a coat as well! Thats my point. The jumper IS his coat. And she knows we go out every day - she requests it so he gets fresh air.

SammyK Mon 09-Feb-09 13:00:19

I think the confusion here is that the little boy is being sent in a vest, with a jumper/jacket type thing on.

So if cm takes his 'jacket' off he only has a vest on, if she leaves it on he will not feel the benefit of coming indoors, or be wrapped up with an extra layer if they go out.

Twims Mon 09-Feb-09 13:02:09

Why not send out a newsletter syaing after having this cold weather would it be possible for the children to bring with them some spare clothes ie a long sleeve top, a jumper and spare pair of trousers in their bags as well as the usual wellies and coats so that if we get the weather again then we're all prepared to go out and have fun in the snow and come into new warm clothes

soon2befamilyof4 Mon 09-Feb-09 13:02:09

If he had a coat as well then there would be no problem whatso ever

purepurple Mon 09-Feb-09 13:06:21

in the morning just say "does he have his coat as we are popping out later?" The parents might not actually realise that you take the children out!

lisalisa Mon 09-Feb-09 13:07:53

I think you just have to mention it then - you could light heartedly say " Oh , has X left his coat at home thne?" and when they respond that his jacket/cardi thing is already on you could try responding " Oh its a bit cold to take that off even indoors in the winter and if I don't take it off he'll miss it when we go outside. Could yo uplease send a long sleeved top next time as well?"

Or you cuold just ask that the spare clothes include a long sleeved t shirt type top and then when he comes in just put that on in place of the jumper/coat.

soon2befamilyof4 Mon 09-Feb-09 13:10:05

As I said purepurple, she knows we go out everyday. But thanks for all your replies, I will speak to her.

nomoreamover Mon 09-Feb-09 19:47:30

It should say in your contract that you require clothes appropriate to the weather...according to NCMA you can refuse to mind a child that consistently comes to you wearing inappropriate clothing - also it can be seen as a sign of possible neglect if consistently a LO isn't being dressed for the weather...

I had one like that who always wore canvas shoes in the rain - drove me mad as she was a walker so always got wet feet on the school run! In the end you will have to just sit mum/dad down and tell them they need a rain coat for rain / wellies etc and if they have a problem with it just buy some yourself from the charity shop to keep at home.

dothemonkeydance Mon 09-Feb-09 20:42:08

I'm not a childminder. I think you have 2 options, 1. Talk to parents about it or 2. Buy some cheap/2nd hand items to use while he is with you?

geraldinetheluckygoat Mon 09-Feb-09 22:34:05

I have had this problem before and it is very frustrating. I have asked people to bring jumpers or warmer coats but they dont always materialise. What I do now, is have a couple of spare jackets that i got from Lidl, they are waterproof and fleece lined and cost a fiver each. I use these if i have to for mindees. You could probably pick up cheap second hand jackets in a charity shop or similar, but it is annoying having to spend your own money to supply clothes for other people's kids.
I think the other option is that you explain that he seems cold when you take the top off in the house, and if you leave it on, he gets cold when you go out so do they have a warm jacket he can bring "incase he feels cold when we go out?" Explain it all in terms of their childs needs, not your opinion, iyswim?
fwiw, i think its absolutely ludicrous to dress a small child in a vest and thin jacket - this weather he should have at least vest and long sleeve top, with jacket for outdoors. good luck!

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