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Constant whinging

(16 Posts)
kelli22 Thu 24-Mar-05 15:43:37

what do you think is the best way to stop whinging from a 5 year old, i'm planning on being a childminder and i currently work full time, whenever i get the chance to spend a day with my dd (5) she whinges and today has been the same, starting with wanting sugar on her cereal, not wanting bubbles in her bath, it has gone on like this all day, know she's in her room screaming at the top of her voice. I've taken her out for the day we went into town i paid some bills and i bought her a new lunch box we had some lunch, went to the library and just got in the car to come home and she broke the label off her lunch box, then blamed me and screamed all the way home, i sent her to her room to calm down and be grateful for what she does have (the new lunch box)
have i handled this all wrong? am i fit to be a mum let alone a childminder? How will i cope with this on a day to day basis, is it just because im abit out of practice?
As logn as its taken for me to type this she is now quiet so i will go up and see if i can convince her to come down in a better frame of mind....
Advice still needed.......

kelli22 Thu 24-Mar-05 16:08:05

ok so perhaps not constant, but frequent, if dd can't get her own way she starts to whinge and cry i think she should have grown out of that by now and i don't give in to her when she does it so i don't think she thinks it's a way to get round me, it just irritates me.
seriously though, how do you all you childminders cope all day everyday, at least then i could start putting theory into practice long before im registered to be a childminder.
Thanks

Bugsy2 Thu 24-Mar-05 16:25:59

Maybe she is just knackered at the end of term kelli22. My 5 yr old is vile when he is tired - nothing is right & he reverts back to 3 yr old behaviour. However, it passes. Plus if you were a childminder - you'd be giving them back at the end of the day, so the annoying behaviour probably grates less!

ssd Thu 24-Mar-05 18:15:38

kelli22, Dealing with the behavour of my own kids is the hardest thing I find about childminding. My ds2 gets jealous and ds1 gets annoyed with a house full of younger kids. It really stresses me out.Also the fact that the minded kids play with my kids toys then don't want to share any toys they've brought upsets my ds2 as well.

I just feel childminding must be easier with you having older kids, or else starting minding when your own kids are young and they grow up with it and don't know any difference...

Sorry to be negative, I'm just being honest. Although of course it depends a lot on the behavour of the kids you are minding too, I shouldn't just put all the blame on mine!

ssd Thu 24-Mar-05 18:17:28

BTW, my two are 6+4 years old and I've been minding for 18 months.......

kelli22 Thu 24-Mar-05 18:34:34

Thanks for your words of advice and don't worry about being honest - I would much prefer it to hearing everythings rosy - at least i know im hunman and you don't have to be a saint to do childminding.
bugsy your probably right about her being tired after term, this is part of the reason im giving up working outside the home so that i can spend more time with her, currently shes out of the house from just gone 8am until 5.30 pm and i feel its a long day for her, esp at the end of it she has her dinner and does her homework and then its bedtime she has no time to relax all day. she's gets playtime at the after school club but theres nowhere for her to rest ie beanbags or sofa's to just chill out on, theres only hard chairs so she's probably just really tired and also me being here isn't really part of her routine (and i know kids play up when their routine is messed with) we don't very often have just me and her days as at weekends my dp is around to help out. during these times i'm not the main source of disapline - i try but she doesn't really listen and as soon as he says her name she does as she's told, so frustrating but i'm sure alot of women find this. I read once it's about men having deeper voices and not being so soft, mum's are the one's kids go to for attention and cuddles. I will try and get her out of that habbit when im with her all day as i will have to disapline her more often by myself.
Any advice is always welcome and the truth is always perfered as i want to know the reality of childminding so i have time to think about how i'll cope before i dive into it. thanks alot

KatieMac Thu 24-Mar-05 19:00:02

I try to say I won't listen to that voice I want to hear DD's voice.

I really struggle with DD (7) and she argues with one of my mindees. I have to bite my tongue 'cos if I WASN'T AN ADULT i WOULD REACT TO THIS MINDEE IN THE SAME WAY (sorry about the caps)

The interaction between your own children and yourmindees is very difficult....Bugsey2 is right at least you can give mindees back

ssd Fri 25-Mar-05 07:31:30

I just always try to remember I'm the adult - when I've got 2 re-schoolers fighting and arguing I try to step back, but it's really hard when one of them is your child, as we all know our own children affect us differently than other kids....

I'm actually at the point I might be giving up minding as my 2 just don't want a certain mindee here as they genuinely don't enjoy this mindees company....(to put it mildly!)

I might take up minding again when my 2 are both in school and won't be affected by others here during the day...

Have any other childminders given up for a while then tried to start again? Maybe I should start another thread on this.......

KatieMac Fri 25-Mar-05 07:44:40

Well I haven't given up ...... but I've extended my house so that DD can have her break after school by herself and do her homework or watch TV by herself.

The money we spend on our kids

mawbroon Fri 25-Mar-05 10:30:43

I read your messages with interest. I am 9 wks pg with our first and am fairly far through the childminding registration process. I have chosen this route so that I can be home with my own child(ren). I won't be registered for a few months yet (takes ages!), so don't think it would be a good idea to take on any kids before mine is born. I have no idea if it is going to work or not, but there is only one way to find out. I'm beginning to wonder if I am kidding myself that I can do all this.

ssd Fri 25-Mar-05 11:54:24

That's a good idea Katiemac.

That's part of my problem, we have a very small house and our living room is used as the playroom/dining room/tv room etc etc.

Even if we had one small spare room my kids could use it as their space, but we haven't. So when I'm minding they don't have any space, it's all shared with the minded kids.Therfore all of their toys have to be shared with the minded kids, as well as their mum .

Actually reading this is making me feel like packing it in today...

KatieMac Fri 25-Mar-05 19:23:41

Can they play in their bedroom - ssd?

Mawbroon - I'd give it a go, it's really worth it (for me at least)

Kelli - was the whinging any less today?

ssd Sat 26-Mar-05 10:35:28

KatieMac, their bedrooms are small as well.

Also they tend to play in the living room and want to play there when I'm minding too, basically they both want to be in whatever room I'm in.....

ssd Sun 27-Mar-05 10:23:34

Kelli, please don't let me put you off.

Every situation is different.

kelli22 Sun 27-Mar-05 13:54:47

ssd im not put off at all, i want to know what its really like, my house is quite small too, im getting a new corner sofa instead of a 3 peice so that there will be more room for them at least and im going to try to make sure my dd can play in her room and the mindee's don't go in there. I'm also going to have a wooden playhouse put in the garden so they can use that too when the weather isn't too bad, also got to have some where to put all the big toys ie toy kitchen that are currently in my dd's room as i will need space for a cot next january.

if any one can think of any other space saving ideas that would be appreciated.

katiemac, i think dd has had a few days to rest and seems much happier we had a really nice day yesterday just the 2 of us i think she will just need to adjust when im at home all day - like she did when i went to work full time. we'll get there, hormones are all over the place which doesnt help but im happer than i was on the 1st day of the hols

KatieMac Sun 27-Mar-05 20:33:57

I'm glad Kelli,

ssd - wait for the summer they will all be in the garden, we've been out twice this last week...the warm weather is coming

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