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Caught my (otherwise exemplary & wonderful) childminder smoking

(7 Posts)
llkjj Tue 22-Mar-05 11:49:21

I saw my childminder smoking today, out front of her house, with her children (not mine, I have no evidence that she ever smoked around mine). This is the 3rd time (in 6 months) I thought she'd been smoking. Which only really matters because she told me and DH that the only person who smoked in her house was her husband, and then only outside, only occasionally!! I'm not bothered that she has the occasional fag, but that she lied about it. Can't get it out of my mind (supposed to be working right now). She's so good with the children, she is my ideal childminder in so many ways, plus I couldn't find anyone else last summer, either, who could mind both my chldren.

So... I know that I am not going to take this further... or should I? I confronted her this morning & she said that "after 11 months without" she had a lapse at a wedding at the weekend. But I think she's fibbing... Makes me afraid I've misjudged her, has she lied about anything else?

rickman Tue 22-Mar-05 11:51:23

Message withdrawn

northerner Tue 22-Mar-05 12:01:45

Think you're reading too much into this tbh. So she has the odd cig every now and again. So what? If it's not around your children then there is nothing you can say or do tbh.

Regarding the lying thing - I doubt it is an indiaction that she lies about other things. As a childminder she'll know that smoking is a contentious issue and probably just says she's a non smoker.

llkjj Tue 22-Mar-05 12:11:20

Am just bothered that she lied... if she had said "I used to smoke and I know that I may have the occasional lapse in the future, but I PROMISE never to smoke around your children", that would have been ok. I also feel like we have become friends in the past 6 months, and now it seems she lied A) when I first met her, and B) again this morning when I confronted her.

northerner Tue 22-Mar-05 12:21:36

Honey, speaking as someone who used to smoke, most smokers lie at some point about their habit. It's because she know's it's not a good thing to do esp when she is a childminder. It honestly doesn't make her a bad person and I wouldn't be upset about it.

When my dh gave up, I saw him in town on my lunch hour once and he was smoking. I said to him 'I can't believe you're smoking' and he said 'I can't believe I've bumped into you'

Bugsy2 Wed 23-Mar-05 11:57:17

She's probably lying because she feels guilty. It is a horrible feeling being caught doing something you shouldn't be, particularly as an adult. I think if it was me, I would probably lie too.
As long as you have her absolute assurance that she will not smoke in front of your children & have no reason to suspect that she does - I wouldn't push it any further.

WideWebWitch Wed 23-Mar-05 12:00:27

Agree with bugsy. It's a horrible drug nicotine.

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