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Working from home with DC cared for by a nanny/mother's help... does it work?

(19 Posts)
ARAG Sun 12-Oct-08 22:20:26

I'm returning to work soon and my plan is to go into the office one day and work one day from home. I'll really need to work on the day I'm at home, though, so I'm looking to get a nanny/mother's help to care for DC (8 months) while I'm in the next room.

Does this work-from-home arrangement work? Will I be able to find a nanny to do 1 day (a Thursday, no less!)?

(If you're thinking, "Hey! That could be me! I could be that part-time nanny!" and you are fabulous and live in reach of Acton... hey... let me know!)

giraffescantdancethetango Sun 12-Oct-08 22:23:37

Could you go in to the office to work? Nannys tend to prefer it, unless you are going to keep right out of the way its hard.

ARAG Sun 12-Oct-08 22:32:33

The office is far... that's the rationale behind working from home. Keeping right out of the way sounds good, though. grin

Ebb Sun 12-Oct-08 22:55:38

Out of four nanny jobs only 2 Mums worked and they both worked part time from home. I didn't have any issues. I think if you shut the door and have a 'don't bother me' policy it's fine! If the children know you are working and that nanny is in charge it's not really a problem. The hardest thing I have found is if I've had to discipline the children for any reason and they go off to tell Mum or they're crying and Mum can't resist ( understandably) coming to see what's going on. If you can stand back and let the Nanny do her job then it works fine. In my other 2 jobs the Mums didn't work and were around most of the time. I think I'm quite easy going though and get on well with people but I know alot of nannies don't like parents being around.

Sadly I'm not near Acton but I'm sure you'll find someone great.

MatNanPlus Sun 12-Oct-08 22:56:36

As long as there are rules and parent and nanny are in agreement then i can't see an issue.

I most often have 1 or both parents around but we all know who is in charge of what.

mollymawk Sun 12-Oct-08 22:59:15

My DH has worked at home ever since we have had our nanny and it is fine as he keeps out of the way. I would say you need a nanny though rather than a mother's help if you want to be able to shut your door and get some work done.

hatwoman Sun 12-Oct-08 23:09:53

I've done it and it was fine. (and can I say well done you for realising that working at home doesn;t mean you can manage without childcare - imo trying to do that is no good for child, for parent or for employer). I agree with other posters - you have to let go, let the nanny be in change, let your dc know you're not really "at home" you're working. However - I didn;t do it with a baby - and that might bring with it a whole other set of issues, a bit different from ones you get with a 6 and 8 year old. I'd recommend some dummy-runs - disappear into the workroom for a few hours at the weekend. don;t crack and come out when dc cries. then (obviously) there's the whole feeding thing. are you still breast-feeding? if so you need to work out what you'll do when working - plenty of options but be prepared (eg if you want to express and have nanny give it in a bottle you'll have to get dc used to bottles) .

re finding a p-t nanny - I'm sure you will but be warned that you might get dumped on tax wise. if your nanny works for another family that family will very likely already be using up her tax-free allowance, and - understandably - won't want to give that up. so you'll end up paying tax on her whole salary (or, to put it another way, she'll end up paying tax on everything you pay her if you agree a gross wage) . I would recommend, strongly, deciding on a gross wage - but make sure she realises just how much tax it'll be, or she might be shocked.

try Simply Childcare (google it) if you're in London - excellent source of nannies without huge agency fees

FourArms Mon 13-Oct-08 06:56:54

What are you going to do for childcare on the day you go into the office?

nannyL Mon 13-Oct-08 09:25:30

It can work but onl if YOU make it work

the way you make it work s buy staying in your office room and working....
not nipping in and out toget stuff all day long as it just confuses the child

If you have to come out for whatever reason and the child sees you you make it very clear that you are working and that nanny is looking after them and you will see them when you have finished

I would suggest having YOUR lunch when your child is having their nap, because i dont know a single child who eats in the same non fussy way whe their parents are present, which can and does annoy nannies a bit, when they children are eating quite happily, and mummy arrives and they dont sit nicely . suddenly dont like their food etc etc hmm

So long as you stay out of the way, let you nanny look after the child and never ever over rule your nanny then there really is no reason why it cant work smile

But if you keep poopping your head out to see your child etc it will be extreaml difficult for all of you....

also if you here your child crying dont come out either

uptomyeyes Mon 13-Oct-08 09:29:51

I think there is no reason it can't work with an 8 month old. I tried it this year with my 10, 6 and 2 year olds and they didn't get it at all. The older kids made too much noise for me to concentrate and the 2 yo just wanted mummy.

Stars22 Mon 13-Oct-08 12:59:28

I think 1 day a week working from home would be ok. But when i started my last nanny job i had about 1 1/2 years where neither parents ever worked from home but then the mum was promoted a bit and started working from home more, dont get my wrong she didnt interfer and generally stayed in the office. But it made my job a lot less enjoyable, i was always aware that there was someone else listening, and office was next to the youngest room so i didnt feel comfortable singing and things knowing that MB could hear me, I just didnt like it, and when they got older it was sometimes a nightmare cooking tea while keeping 3 year old away from the office.
I would take on a job where the mum or dad worked from home 1 day a week but no more than that.

lucysmum Mon 13-Oct-08 13:05:27

my nanny hated it when i was around - and i also found it difficult eg when i heard kids crying, not doing things the way i would etc. found it very difficult to concentrate. the older the kids got the more likely they were to interrupt me. find a starbucks to work in instead !

flowerybeanbag Mon 13-Oct-08 13:06:18

I do it. I work from home most of the time, only going out to see clients. Nanny is here 4 days a week 8.30 - 2.30. They are obviously out a lot of the time, going to playgroups, the library or other outings, but even when they're here it's fine.

I am shut away up in the study while they are downstairs. I usually pop down to see DS and catch up briefly while he's having lunch, and so I can get mine, which works fine. Certainly doesn't affect his eating!

Works really well for us. I leave nanny to get on with it, if he's having a tantrum or whatever I don't come out, and if I bump into them around the house it doesn't seem to be disruptive for DS (17mo), he usually wants a quick cuddle, then he's fine going off with the nanny again.

Twelvelegs Mon 13-Oct-08 13:08:29

I'm interviewing Mother's helps as we speak.... she'll take charge of newborn and 2 year old whilst I get time eith the 5 & 6 year old after school.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 13-Oct-08 13:10:50

tbh nannies prefer parents to work in an office away from home but

it can work BUT only if you have certain rules and stick to them.

problems normally occur as child gets older and knows that mummy is there

esp if you just keep popping out of office for cuppa/loo etc

For example when child is older,if nanny tells them off, then no running to you, or you come out and see what noise ie - have to say that db are generally easier to have around then mb wink

no underminding what the nanny say - i have always had a rule, that if I am there, then what I say goes

my mb is on Ml at moment, and working from home and the children know that mummy is at home but working - she made it clear from start, that if they ask/want something and ask her, she says ask me

mb stays in her office and works

ARAG Thu 16-Oct-08 23:24:43

These are awesome replies... thanks so much! I really will take so much of it on board. MN wins again!

The day that I'm in the office DH will be taking care of DD. I'm thinking this might work out swimmingly...

Thanks again for the tips!

Bettyboobird Fri 17-Oct-08 15:54:34

We have an AP so it's different, but when I'm at home on study days, I get absolutely NO studying done!

The dc know I'm at home so they pop in now and then to see how I'm doing (!), despite the AP's best attempts to keep them busy. If I hear dd1 being cheeky to the AP I want to intervene. If I hear dd2 grizzling, I feel the need to find out why (even though I know she's fine).

I feel I need to make their lunch as it would be lazy to let the AP do it when I am at home, then I end up offering to make her lunch, then we eat together. Then dd1 asks for me to drop her at nursery instead of AP, and as I seldom get the opportunity to do it, I agree. So then I end up taking dd1 to nursery and dd2 to the childminder, before getting home at 1.15 to FINALLY start studying.

Then dh arrives home with dc in tow at 4.30pm and that the end of my studying. Very constructive- not! grin

Blondeshavemorefun Fri 17-Oct-08 18:00:55

bettyboo - if you really need to work/study then you need to be more firm with your children and say that mummy is working, or get a lock and lock yourself in grin and get the AP to tell children off if they are cheeking her and DEF dont come out if child is crying to see what is wrong!!!

other option is to go to starbucks and work there

Bettyboobird Fri 17-Oct-08 18:09:27

Thanks for the good tips Blondes. Sadly, I have had my last study day this year, so I won't need to worry about it anymore-boo!

AP is very good at dealing with the children-I'm just a bit too nosey and like to know what's going on!

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