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Feel let down by CM - aibu to consider finding new childcare?

(16 Posts)
wotnopulling Sat 13-Sep-08 10:38:22

have posted yesterday about cm who hasn't been given necessary permission to have an extra child by ofsted (ie my dd2) in time for me to start work in a week.
she already cares for dd1.
i have had to tell work i don't know when i can go back as we need to wait for ofsted agreement (if they agree) to come through before she can take both children.

two things bothering me (apart from why has she been so disorganised?!)

1. is four under fives too many? she'll have a 7 month old, a 12 month old a rising 3 year old and a 2 and a half year old.
do i want dd2 to be the fourth child?

2.she's let me down so badly and made me look a fool at work - and hasn't even apologised.

which has left me feeling so pissed off i feel like looking for a new cm to start asap.

BUT she is a good cm and until this happened i was happy with her. ofsted report is 'good' with lot of 'outstanding' elements. dd1 has a relationship with her - and one of the other mindees.

after sleepless/brooding night i'm not sure i'm keeping things in perspective...can you help?!

mumblecrumble Sat 13-Sep-08 10:44:30

Have a look at nurseries. We thought about childminder but felt that relying on just one person felt unpredictable.

Dd goes to lovely nursery and has a'keyworker' who is dd first point of contact and makes us feel like she is getting some one to one care. She also loves the other kids and all the cool stuff they do.

If a memeber of staff is ill - there are others so care is ALWAYS available.

BoysAreLikeDogs Sat 13-Sep-08 10:45:46

If she is experienced then four under five is manageable.

I don't know your history - she has asked OFSTED for a 'variation' to allow care for siblings and they haven't issued her new certificate yet? Is that what you mean?

Sometimes OFSTED can really drag their feet [understatement]

OTOH if CM just has not bothered until last week getting OFSTED to agree to the extra child (your dd2) then pfffft give notice and move on.

wotnopulling Sat 13-Sep-08 11:26:12

i have always thought a cm better at one on one care than nursery but this unreliable thing is a big consideration. i am utterly dependent on one person...

cm is very experienced. yes she's asked for a variation but only about ten days ago - it seems last time she got one it came v quickly so she didn't anticipate a problem.
so although i don't think it's a case of being feckless (she based decision on past experience) i still think she should have got it sorted earlier. she's known dd2 was coming to her for months.

do i move on and sever dd1's relationship with her? is this one issue enough to be a deal breaker... i can't decide. i had anticipated both children being with her until the age of four and then her doing school pick ups. i am happy with other aspects....but just sooo unhappy about this situation i find myself in.
humiliating to have to ring work like that. who knows how long ofsted will take?! (i did ask ofsted but surprise surprise they wouldn't be drawn).

BoysAreLikeDogs Sat 13-Sep-08 11:30:38

The last variation I had at the beginning of the summer took about 5 days wahayyy so go OFSTED


You just don't don't know.

Sometimes they are a law unto themselves, allegedly.

Perhaps not a deal-breaker then, as you have plans to carry on through school wth this CM.

Chalk it up to an honest mistake.

I shall cross fingers that the variaiton arrives PDQ.

BoysAreLikeDogs Sat 13-Sep-08 11:32:43

Plus I work with other CMs in my village so that in case of illness (and numbers of children permitting) we cover each other so that the times that parents have to take times off work are lessened.

Your CM may have this type of backup organised??

wotnopulling Sat 13-Sep-08 11:37:41

the only time CM has been ill she did organise back up care and she has spoken about this same cm being used as an 'interim' carer until variation is through but as dd2 is just a year old and never been away from me i'd have to settle her once with interim cm and then with main cm - too disruptive for her. and defeats the object of having both dd1 and dd2 together.

but yes, CM would do best to organise back up care and i think it is an honest mistake. thank you for talking sense to me! i'm just so CROSS! and an apology wouldn't go amiss...or even an acknowledgement that she's made a mistake!

and of course at the back of my mind is worry ofsted will say 'no' and i'll have to find new childcare anyway. at v short notice.

BoysAreLikeDogs Sat 13-Sep-08 11:43:13

She has had a variation before, so I am positive that one will be forthcoming.

Sit tight

[sqeezes knee]

An apology would be in order, as well as professional, and I am disappointed that you haven't had one.

wotnopulling Sat 13-Sep-08 11:46:51

thank you boysarelikedogs. you've talked me down! will try to shift little black cloud hovering over my head and take your adivice!

after typing last post i thought 'god, this is starting to bore even me...why would anyone else read it?' so thanks again for taking time. grin

will sit tight and cross fingers.

ThePrisoner Sat 13-Sep-08 12:05:43

I have also had a variation come through very quickly (less than a week), but have also had them take a lot longer. Hopefully, your CM will have told Ofsted that this is urgent, and given them a date by which she needs to start. She could phone/email to chase it up.

It is an unwritten rule that all childminders know that Ofsted are never consistent in anything, so I really am gobsmacked that your CM has left it so long!

However, if she really is good with regard to everything else, I wouldn't "jump ship" over this, although I can imagine it being my first reaction if it happened to me. You would have to find another minder that you would be happy with, and hope that there would be two spaces for your children.

I would also let her know that she has caused a bit of a problem (in a very nice way).

wotnopulling Sat 13-Sep-08 13:10:05

thanks theprisoner i think you're right - it would be tricky to find a good cm with two spaces to start immediately within walking distance etc etc.

i think cm knows she has caused a problem - but probably considers ofsted to have caused it rather than herself - as she knows i had to ring work and put my start date back to an as yet unspecified date.

bit of a tightrope to express what a problem it is while remaining friendly.

thank goodness they're being good about it - on the face of it at least. my name will be mud in truth!

ThePrisoner Sat 13-Sep-08 13:42:45

I cannot understand why on earth Ofsted could be blamed for this!

You will have to seethe inwardly but smile sweetly! smile

CarGirl Sat 13-Sep-08 13:50:58

I wonder if your CM was waiting for the 12 month old to be 12 months old as it would make it easier for Ofsted to agree to the variation?

nbee84 Sat 13-Sep-08 14:04:23

Just a thought - could dd1 go to the interim carer? Sounds like she knows her already. dd2 could then settle with long term childminder. Not ideal I know as you want both dd's together.

shellchildminder Sat 13-Sep-08 15:09:24

I am a registered childminder who can offer great one to one care for a baby as i only have 1 minded child and she is at school all day so i have a full day to give my whole care and attention to a baby/toddler.
If you have any questions i will be happy to answer them

HappyChildminderBerkshire Sat 13-Sep-08 17:59:12

It does sound a bit odd to me that she left it so late, made you look bad at work, then didn't apologise. What about quietly looking around for another CM with 2 spaces, and if you found one you liked, you could give notice and move on? And if you couldn't find one you can wait while current CM fiddlefarts around and hopefully gets variation.

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