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Nanny's friends coming to play

(13 Posts)
mogs0 Thu 04-Sep-08 23:30:45

I just wanted a couple of opinions please.

I'm possibly starting a nanny job where I take my own ds along too. I have friends who have dc in ds' class at school and they also have younger siblings same age as one of my new charges. Would it be acceptable to get together at the family's house? I'm thinking of this while the older ones are at school and it's just the toddlers at home.

SmugColditz Thu 04-Sep-08 23:34:11

I wouldn't accept that, no. Others might. Best ask your boss, really.

wellbalanced Fri 05-Sep-08 08:43:42

I do daily, yes.
Check with your boss first see what they say about it.
I dont tell my bosses day in day out who is coming round but they are fine about it.

imananny Fri 05-Sep-08 09:45:09

if in doubt then ask,but sure your boss wouldnt mind

most nannies are very sociable and meet at each other work houses - that is part of the nannies job imo

Stars22 Fri 05-Sep-08 10:55:35

Smugcolditz - can i ask why you wouldnt accept that?

I used to have my friend come over with her charges while older one was at school, I would always ask first it was never a problem.

Millarkie Fri 05-Sep-08 11:00:06

My nanny used to do this with her nanny friends and their charges - I saw it as a 'play date' for dd (even though i did not know the child who came to play). I'm not so sure about non-nanny friends because I would worry more about the emphasis being on the adults socialising rather than the children. (in the same way, I was cross when I found out that a previous nanny's boyfriend was popping in to my house during her working hours (but there were other ishoos with that too))

SmugColditz Fri 05-Sep-08 11:39:32

because they are just random people I don't know, and if I want my child to be with a nanny, I want him/her to be with the nanny, or at least a nanny.

I know when my friends come round we dump th children in the living room with a box of toys, and sit in the kitchen drinking tea and dishing out biscuits.

Actually I would probably be fine and am being a nob in theory
Look, I'm too much of a control freak to have a nanny anyway!

MeanBeans Fri 05-Sep-08 12:23:50

I say yes, provided that the children are of similar ages and live reasonably locally (if it's a regular occurrence - infrequent visits are fine).

The provisos are a result of past experiences with nannies who socialised with her nanny friends + charges who lived miles away and/or were nowhere near the ages of my children.

>I know when my friends come round we dump th children in the living room

I think this probably does happen to a certain extent, and I probably would prefer if my children had absolute 1:1 nanny attention for 10 hours. But it's unrealistic to expect that from myself let alone the nanny and it'll make her unhappy.

mogs0 Fri 05-Sep-08 14:44:11

SC - They are parents from the school which the family's older children attend, so not necc random strangers.

Would the problem be with the parents/children mixing with your dc or that they were in house?

I read something on here the other day along the lines of "if you trust your nanny to look after your dc then you should trust that she choose her friends carefully" it was worded much better than that though!!

I'll discuss with the parents when we meet next! The toddler may have a ton of friends already and not even need any more!!!

Millarkie Fri 05-Sep-08 15:01:10

"if you trust your nanny to look after your dc then you should trust that she choose her friends carefully" I totally agree with that - but on the other hand I have trusted a nanny who I should not have trusted. My children told me that 'a girl' had been coming to play and that ds didn't like her (one of the reasons we chose a nanny rather than childminder was that ds had socialising problems and needed time to himself)..nanny said it was a playdate but when I asked her not to invite that child back because ds was getting upset nanny was most annoyed. It came to light that nanny was 'childminding' this child for a few hours each afternoon in my house (whilst being paid full-rate to work for me). This was the same nanny who had her boyfriend visit etc.

I just wanted to say that communication is the key - check it out with your bosses and they will probably be fine, but don't be surprised if they ask a few questions about the adults and children visiting.

imananny Fri 05-Sep-08 15:46:00

i rem you posting about that millarkie - think you had a bad decietful nanny, i can assure you that not ALL nannies are like that

meanbeans is right, at times we do dump the children and have a natter, but we are still in the same room, and still keeping a beedy eye on the children - I can multitask smile

i certainly couldnt do 1-1 for the whole 10/12hrs, we need a break, and as we dont have an official lunch hour where we can escape - yes we do play/teach with the children alot of the time, but it is also good for children to learn to amuse theirselves for a while - hence the dumping, plus they get to socialise and share etc with other children

navyeyelasH Fri 05-Sep-08 15:50:09

One person I work for doesn't like it at all even if we meet up with friends in park etc (can sort of understand not wanting "strangers" in the house, but otherwise I feel it's a bit OTT). But they pay my wages so I respect their decision. [polishes halo emotion]

But all the other families I work with don't mind at all! Also, I don't know if this is the norm but if I meet up with other children we don't just dump them together and drink tea etc. We normally all get stuck in playing a game or just sit and watch from the sidelines; never ever in a different room from Mindees I would be so fearful that "something might happen"! Even the big uns. Can you imagine the conversation, "where we you?", "oh in the kitchen drinking tea and having a gas"; think that would put an end to any further play dates TBH and not a risk I'd like to take!

Millarkie Fri 05-Sep-08 18:26:14

imananny - I certainly don't think all nannys are like my dodgy one - I've had a lovely nanny since. Just wanted to put across a parent's point of view in that although you should hope to trust nanny 100% there are some dodgy ones out there and any parent would prefer to have full communication about what has been happening during the day partly for their peace of mind so they know their trust is not misplaced.
(As I said further down the thread, personally I would be happy for such 'playdates; as the OP suggests).

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