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not settling with Childminder

(5 Posts)
hsk Thu 04-Sep-08 21:40:39

Hi

I would love some advice from experienced CM and anyone else who might be able to help.

I returned to work in August with my now 8 month old son going to the CM for 3 1/2 days. It has been 4 weeks now and still he hasn't settled at her place. She is great with him and ends up cuddling him most of the time as he just would start crying if she puts him down. I know it has been a huge change for him specially since he was exclusively bf and we are from a different cultural background and speak a different language at home.

He still cries when going out with her anywhere or when put down for lunch or to play. He was not taking any milk to begin with but now he is drinking and eating more but it is the constant crying and winging that I am worried about. Surely that cant be good for him or the CM specially with her two young kids.

I need to know if this is expected with such young babies? What can we do to make him settle with her? I am desperate for some advice!!!!!! Thanks

MaureenMLove Thu 04-Sep-08 21:52:10

Totally, totally normal. Especially, since you're not doing a full week. I had a mindee for only 2 days a week and it took her much, much longer to settle than any of my full timers. At the begining she wouldn't even let me look at her! Then in time, she was happy for me to be in the same room as her, but only if I wasn't talking to her. I think it took nearly 2 months for her to be 100% happy with me, but once she was, it was wondeful.

Such a difficult time for you, but try just a little bit longer! Speak to your minder. If she is experienced enough, she'll be able to let you know if its going to work or not, but really, it does sound pretty normal to me.

KatyMac Thu 04-Sep-08 22:13:20

Can you leave an (unwashed) jumper of yours?

Do you hold him a lot at home or is he happy on the floor?

mawbroon Thu 04-Sep-08 22:21:42

I had a wee boy one afternoon a week from about age 11months and he just cried the whole time unless we went out.

He got over it eventually. I had also spent a lot of time carrying him in a baby carrier, so at least he was having a cuddle of sorts but I was hands free. Is this something your childminder could try?

hsk Fri 05-Sep-08 06:39:09

thanks for your responses.

Yes my childminder has suggested both a jumper and sling. I think we might try that. He was very clingy with me for the first few months but now he can happily sit on the floor at home and play now

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