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My nanny's invited her friend and children round to mine. Is this acceptable? How do I approach this?

(14 Posts)
greenday Thu 04-Sep-08 19:39:35

Some background -

I work one day a week. She brings her DD along so charges less. So far, its been ok.

A few weeks ago, she rang me at work to ask if its ok if one of her friends dropped by. I said 'fine'.

But this week, I found out, through DD's conversations, that her friend and children have been round. But I was not informed.

How should I approach this? I don't want to upset her, but I want to find a way to let her know I know and I'm not comfortable with strangers being in my house without my knowledge.

Twims Thu 04-Sep-08 19:40:55

Is she allowed to have playdates - was this mentioned in the contract?

FabioFlangeCat Thu 04-Sep-08 19:41:16

She asked if her pal could come over.
You said yes.
Pal comes over.

Problem?

greenday Thu 04-Sep-08 19:43:07

No contract - as 1-day a week - more like a babysitter arrangement, IYKWIM. Happy for DD to have playdates and also aware that she needs to take care of her own DD's needs. But as one day a week only, I thought she could at least just concentrate on my DC and her's.

greenday Thu 04-Sep-08 19:43:57

FFC - that was couple of weeks ago for that specific day. I wasn't aware she was inviting them around over again, and not even sure if they are the same friends.

botherednanny Thu 04-Sep-08 19:45:30

as a nanny I would say that if you trust her to look after your child, then you should trust her judgement of friend... I don't always 'ask' my boss per say about playdates coming over but I do mention it in passing iyswim?

maybe she thinks that you don't want to be bothered by pointless questions during your working day?

FabioFlangeCat Thu 04-Sep-08 19:46:37

Maybe she doesn't realise how you feel?
Perhaps she thought as you said fine first time, you're ok if her pals come over.
Do the friend's' children play wiht your dd?

cupsoftea Thu 04-Sep-08 19:46:39

If you're not happy with this then say no - you're paying for her to look after your dd & she has her own dd as well. Tell her to meet her freind & the other child another day in the week not the day you pay for.

imananny Thu 04-Sep-08 19:46:40

I dont personally see the problem

I work odd days on end and get friends over with same aged children to play

what are you unhappy about?

Soapbox Thu 04-Sep-08 19:48:35

I think it would be unusual not to allow a nanny to have friends round with their charges for playdates.

All of my nannies have done so and I would never have stopped them. It is a long day without company for a nanny and having a friend around for a coffee and a chat is pretty important for them. I think it is nice for the children to make some new friends too.

I got to know my first nanny's nanny friends really well and they would often help each other out if one was sick or had an appointment etc. One of them covered my nanny's maternity leave!

You are trusting your nanny to look after your child, therefore it is fair to trust their judgement on who they invite to the house

Twims Thu 04-Sep-08 19:50:16

I might be wrong but if she is working as you're nanny you should have a contract - also are you paying her NI/Tax?

greenday Thu 04-Sep-08 19:54:00

Botherednanny - I see where you're coming from .. thanks for the perspective from the other side of the coin.

I shall mention to her casually, that while I am happy for her to invite her friends and their DC around, I would be more comfortable if she informed me beforehand.

botherednanny Thu 04-Sep-08 20:00:08

greenday - glad to have helped smile

I think its just a case of one of those things that isn't instantly obvious will cause a problem but that you learn though time in your anny/employer relationship... maybe she can just send you a quick text to let you know beforehand?

milene Fri 05-Sep-08 09:47:37

You need a contract even if it's just one day a week. Are you employing her legally?

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