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CM CLUB: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

(32 Posts)
PinkChick Wed 03-Sep-08 16:32:07

mindee started in summer, had probs from start with mum, not giving notice of hours/days, changing them only hours before etc etc..spoke to her, got heated (her not me) i extended settling in period and it settled down...last few weeks mindee has been cancelling (or mum has) at last minute, or texting at 7am to say she not coming till afternoon(when ive been up since 6am expecting her at 6.30), i dont see the mum anymore???..she gets 'aunt' to drop off and pick up..and sends her to pay fees as wellhmm...two weeks on trot mindee didnt turn up till atfernoon eah day i only received a text AFTER she was due to say what was happening..this week mindee again came very late mon, didnt come at all yes and is now NOT coming tomorrow..but mum booked 3 days in and was charged for 3 days! agreed!

payment due Monday, text to say can i bring tues at 4?..i is now wednesday and i still ahndt received fee, her dd in same class as mine, but she arrived late and hid to avoid me at home time????

so i try another text (i never know wether she's working, we normally find this is the best way) to say please bring £x tonight, you ahve not replied to texts, calls nor spoke to me at school, i will be charged for overdrawn if i do not pay my feed in on time.

get a 'lovely' text back..along lines of my dd doesnt finiance your lifestyle, if you think she does then why???..that she'd 'missed' my textshmm, mindee will NOT be coming tomorrowhmmand she wants to know what I am doing about her next week as she isnt at work!? (i asked her for hours for coming weeks and she replied she didnt know as she was off and would let me know asap!) assuming she means do i still have to pay you!!??angry....

Aunt came round with money so ive apologised to her and said as mum ahs already got her involved can she tell me what going on??..aunt doesnt 'seem' to know (wont say!?), but ive asked her to tell mum to either come round or ring me tonight as i refuse to have any animosity with ANY parent as i look after their most precious possesion and deserve a bit of common decency, i dont appreciate texts like this, she cuts me off when i try to ring and switches to fax when i ring her home.
we're adults, this needs to be resolved and she needs to adhear to her contract and not spit back when someone asks WHY they havent been paid!?...phew you still with me???

So..what should i do!? if i need ot ask realyl!hmm

MaureenMLove Wed 03-Sep-08 16:38:33

But, but but - her dd DOES finance your lifestyle, doesn't she? If you didn't need the money, you wouldn't have to look after her DD! Stupid woman!

Anyway, that aside, you do know what you need to do. Write a letter, send it recorded delivery or hand deliver it, setting out your terms and conditions. Tell her that unless you recieve a satisfactory conclusion to this before X date, you will have no alternative, but to serve 4 weeks notice.

Can you afford to loose this one? Well, tbh, whether you can or can't, do you really need this much hassle every week?

MatNanPlus Wed 03-Sep-08 16:42:03

Losing this mindee sounds like tho your cash flow will be down a bit your heart, mind and life will be back on track!

LunaFairy Wed 03-Sep-08 16:43:10

You can give immediate notice if you're having problems with payment,no contact etc. I would get rid ASAP.

LunaFairy Wed 03-Sep-08 16:44:05

Good Luck with it!

PinkChick Wed 03-Sep-08 16:48:26

smile <<<relief>>>

4 weeks paid notice, i will send letter tonight along with copy of contract (it was photocopied ncma one, but as i have her sig on it, im sure its as legally binding as one i would have drawn up myself!?)

She ACTUALLY told ME what i was going to be doing so i said No, what IS actually going to happen is that today 3rd September i am now giving you 4 weeks notice to terminate your contract...........she put the phone down on me!LOL...pathetic!

MaureenMLove Wed 03-Sep-08 16:50:08

Yay! Good girl! What was her suggestion then?

PinkChick Wed 03-Sep-08 16:55:49

that she doesnt come next week as shes(mum) isnt working and that SHE will give me hours as and when SHE gets them, not 4 weeks in advance like contracted..S-h-e t-a-l-k-e-d t-o m-e l-i-k-e im a farking idiot and just rang back and babled somthing and i said pardon i didnt hear you?..and she repeated herself like she had to spell it out LOL spoke like she was talking to aa half wit! LOL...guess who looks the idiot now though!

SammyK Wed 03-Sep-08 17:01:54

Missed this but good for you PC, she sounds awful. Glad you said to aunt that yo deserve respect and decency. I never understand these parents who treat the people caring for their children like dirt. angry

You did the right thing. smile

MaureenMLove Wed 03-Sep-08 17:04:16

Dosey mare, springs to mind! grin

BoysAreLikeDogs Wed 03-Sep-08 17:08:41

Glad to see you have resolved this PC.

SammyK Wed 03-Sep-08 17:12:52

AIBU: To bristle every time someone refers to their child being 'minded' by a friend or relative? I think it patronises what we do, how much training we go through, etc. I know anyone who is not a cm will think Iabu BTW, just needed to vent in here!

SammyK Wed 03-Sep-08 17:16:06

Oops that was meant for staff room! grin

KSquiff Wed 03-Sep-08 17:25:03

My advice - GET OUT NOW!! - I know its hard but this is almost identical to the situation I was in 5 weeks ago, the texts, ignoring your calls, avoiding you at all costs, being constantly late etc. sometimes my mindee just didn't turn up full stop!

In the end it was soooo much hastle & stress I gave notice & she moved (within days) now I can't track her down and I'm down over 1k!!

She honestly thinks I was simply there for her disposal & only paid me when it suited her - didn't stop her going out shoppin & getting her nails done every week!

It turns out it doesn't matter if you have a legally binding contract!! (well in my case anyway)

Honestly, its too much grief and you get absolutely NO appreciation for it.

KSquiff Wed 03-Sep-08 17:35:49

Sorry came in a bit late there, was posting and got distracted!

MatNanPlus Wed 03-Sep-08 18:55:55

Well Done PinkChick your terms wins shock at the attitude shown you.

PinkChick Wed 03-Sep-08 20:17:17

??..sorry didnt understand that last msg?im being dence i know??smile

thanks everyone for your support
well i do feel 100% better albeit not better off, but hey ho!

now im trying to write out the termination letter how do i 'say' im ending this contract becasue you dont pay when you should/say you do, nor do you give me notice of days/hours reqested all of which was agreed and signed in contract??

MrsFluffleHasAWuffle Wed 03-Sep-08 20:49:55

I'd just say due to your breach of contract, examples: not paying on time, not giving me the hours 4 weeks in advance, etc etc

Good for you Pink, this business can be hard enough at the best of times, you don't deserve to be patronisied, avoided and talked to like shite!

PinkChick Wed 03-Sep-08 20:58:56

Thanks Mrs Fsmile..i've put "my decision was made because the contract, we agreed to has/is not being adhered too, in particular..(x, y and z, like we said) on more than one occasion..

Dp will hand deliver it in morning on his way to worksmile..have just rang mum of old mindee and said she can def have a place nowsmile..although still not usre on little sister as i 'cant' have her more than tw days as i wouldnt want a 1yr old, a 20 month old, a 2 yr old and 3 yr old! look like vikki pollard with me double buggy!wink and it would be too much i know it!

southernbelle77 Wed 03-Sep-08 21:25:39

Good for you! Glad its all done and you feel better for it!

Talking of vikki pollard, I guess that is what I must look like when I have a 11 month old, 12 month old, 2 year old and 4 year old

PinkChick Wed 03-Sep-08 21:26:50

LOL yeah i bet you do !winksmile

Thanks chick, wasnt easy but felt liberating standing up for myself for once..its MY business and I call the shots!smile

southernbelle77 Wed 03-Sep-08 21:28:08

Oh god, just realised (not thought about it too much before!!) that they could look like they were all mine (if the littlies where twins!)! That's why I always make sure people know I'm the childminder!!!

Mum2Luke Wed 03-Sep-08 23:56:16

Good on you PC!!!! I have nearly (though not nearly as bad as that dosey mare)the same sort of situation in that the 5 yr olds parents STILL havent got the message that I have to be paid when I am available for work even when they are on holiday. They also expect me at short notice sometimes to look after the lad.

I have had a friend approach me to mind her 2 yr old and 11 month old in mid December. I have minded the 2 year old before and its only 2 days a week so i have decided to give her (the 5 yr old's Mum) as much notice as I can so she can find another minder. Its going to be difficult to know what to write as most of the time we have a good working relationship even when she forgets to pay me.

If anyone has any ideas of what to put , please let me know quick!!!!



Mum2Luke Thu 04-Sep-08 00:00:41

Lol Southernbelle I also have that problem while out with the mindees - a 9 yr old, 2 x 6 yrs, 1 x 4 and a 5 yr old!

I have a NCMA sticker in my car back window and I always wear my NCMA fleece jkt when people ask me how many I am paying for when out at a playcentre/outing of some sort!

PinkChick Thu 04-Sep-08 09:59:43

hi Girls, it si horrible isnt it sad..ill never understand how people can be like this, never mind to thier childminder!shocksad

Didnt see her at school again her child has been late both first and second day into new classsad..its so not fair on the children sad

dp took letter this morn, but didnt have any envelopes, so hes getting one and taking it tonight

Mum of mindee who left has asked for her eldest to come backsmile after school starting monday and wanted her youngest to come too but as i have baby starting in few weeks couldnt do itsad..but spoke to mum of new mindee starting and said i would now have to start charging retainer and she said no probs(id explained i wouldnt charge unless space was needed) and that will start next am smile at moment, hope it all goes well from now onsmile

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