Talk

Advanced search

This topic is for discussing childcare options. If you want to advertise, please use your Local site.

Live in nanny announces marriage and baby plan!

(32 Posts)
sus19 Wed 03-Sep-08 14:45:13

Scenario - Live in nanny announces arranged marriage about to happen and would like husband to move in to seperate accom with her. Potentially no problem with that. Then she says she plans to have a family straight away. No problem with providing mat leave etc but don't want their baby in the house and how can she provide care for children with own baby to look after. What are my options? Should I write and say potentially can house husband but not babies. Want to do the right thing by her but such a mine field.
Any thoughts appreciated

cupsoftea Wed 03-Sep-08 14:47:30

Where do you stand legally on this? - mat leave yes but housing the family no. Is your contract for a live-in nanny?

sus19 Wed 03-Sep-08 14:58:54

its not actually me - its my boss at work which complicates it slightly!

No he doesn't have anything formally I don't think. I think he can legitimately write and say I will house the husband (assuming he's not an axe murderer etc) but am not prepared to house the child. I would say that standard employment legislation applies.

annh Wed 03-Sep-08 15:04:14

Hmm ... obviously having a contract would help. He should not have to house either of them, should he choose not to. It is a bit fo a cheek on the part of the nanny to assume otherwise. If the nanny has a baby, they have to allow her to return to work on same terms and conditions as before but do not have to allow her to bring the baby with er, so she would have to organise her own childcare. Do you think your boss is employing her legally and paying her tax and NI?

sus19 Wed 03-Sep-08 15:07:11

He said he is but I think not somehow! Thanks for your thoughts I agree entirely with your POV.

flowerybeanbag Wed 03-Sep-08 15:08:18

Even if there's not a written contract, which obviously there should be, the unwritten contract is that the employer will house the nanny.

She can ask for housing for husband and/or future babies, and it's up to employer whether he agrees to all or part of this request. And of course as annh says, there's no obligation to allow nanny to bring baby to work after maternity leave.

annh Wed 03-Sep-08 15:14:48

Oh dear, LEGALLY he still doesn't have to house her husband or the baby but if we assume that he isn't paying all/any of her her tax/NI, then of course she could threaten to report him to IR - it's him who gets into trouble, not her! So she does have a bargaining card and maybe is aware of this. Also if she is not legally employed, she will not be entitled to maternity pay and if he chooses to pay it himself, he will not be able to reclaim it from the govt, which is what usually happens. Of course, she's not actually pregant yet.

On rereading your original post, when you say she wants her husband to move in with her do you mean, she wants him to move in to her live-in accom or she is planning on moving smewhere else with him and becoming a live-out? If the former, I would say a big NO, if the latter then it would be a good time to "update" her contract as live-outs generally get paid more than live-ins.

annh Wed 03-Sep-08 15:16:31

Sorry about sloppy spelling etc in my posts, I am also trying to supervise an Olympic pole vaulting competition in the back garden between three 10-yr olds. WOnder how I can persuade them to choose something less dangerous!

flowerybeanbag Wed 03-Sep-08 15:19:08

An employee's rights to maternity pay and other entitlements don't depend on whether her employer has decided to try and fiddle the tax man or not.

She is entitled to SMP and other employment rights like any other employee - it's not her fault her employer is not paying her tax. That's his problem to sort out - just because he is acting illegally doesn't mean he gets to choose whether to pay maternity pay or not.

sus19 Wed 03-Sep-08 15:57:38

just checked and he is paying tax and N.I!
LOL at polevaulting in garden annh!

She wants her husband to move in to the accom the employer provides!

annh Wed 03-Sep-08 16:16:54

Well, he is under no obligation to let the husband move in, although he could if he is happy to do so. However, this could result in increased costs for water, etc. Assuming the husband works, there probably isn't much effect on heating and LX, it costing the same to turn on the lights for one as for two. However, live-ins often have at least some food provided by their families, is he planning in parttaking in this too? There is a poster on here called Issy who has had several couples work for her and who might be able to point out the advantages and disadvantages. However, she actually advertised for couples, rather than ending up with one unexpectedly!

HappyMummyOfOne Wed 03-Sep-08 20:07:49

He's under no obligation to let the husband move in and personally I wouldnt. Perhaps for an agreed rent to cover the extra costs re water etc. To expect to live rent and bill free is a bit cheeky - for the nanny yes but not for her family.

I also agree with him that the baby should not be bought to work, he has to keep her job open for her but he has no legal obligation to let her bring her child. She wont be able to give full attention to the job she is being paid to do with her own child in tow.

AtheneNoctua Thu 04-Sep-08 08:57:23

I don't see how he could allow a husband but not babies. What is he going to do when she gets pregnant... evict the baby? Evict all three of them? That sounds very messy inded.

I would say no to husband moving in if I didn't want the babies (and I wouldn't). I caould manage a live-out nanny who brought a baby with her. But, not a live in. I wouldn't be prepared to return to a house of cots, baby toys, nappy bins, and the other paraphanalia and mess and stink that comes with babies for a baby that isn't even mine.

Also, what do you mean by "arranged marriage"? If you mean this leiterally, I am wondering if we are talking about a culture where the man rules and woman does as he says and makes lots of babies for her big strong man. And if this is the case I think her loyalty is going to be to serving her man and not so much dedication to the employer. Maybe I've read too much into this.

imananny Thu 04-Sep-08 10:13:49

the OP said that that the nanny wants to move in to seperate accom with her husband - I dont see a problem with that so assuming nanny will then be live out - if the job can be this then fine

or does the accom come with the job,ie a seperate flat?

Obv as and when a baby come, if the employers doesnt want their nanny to bring the nannys own child, then thats his right - though may take a few months/longer to conceive so I wouldnt say get ride of the nanny now

If the accom comes with the job,then if the nanny isnt employed anymore then will lose the accom that comes wih job

I am a little confused what the problem is (tho also have night nannied last night so im tired) keep the nanny on till she gets pregnant, then offer job to her without nanny bringing baby back with her

sus19 Thu 04-Sep-08 10:42:50

YEs she is an Indian lady Athene who is having an arranged marriage. The accom is a bungalow in the employers garden.

I think he should just say husband ok, if you get preg, fine but you can't bring baby into the main house where she is employed to look after his kids.

AtheneNoctua Thu 04-Sep-08 12:45:38

So this Indian man is going to stay in the bungalow and look after the baby while she looks after someone else's kids. Do you really think that's going to happen?

Besides, he can't let her go because she gets pregnant. That's illegal. If he lets the husband in, he is going to end up with a whole family. Maybe he's okay with that. I wouldn't be. (although I might be if I had a bungalow in the garden for them to live in)

QuintessentialShadow Thu 04-Sep-08 12:52:34

Could he employ the husband? Does he need a gardener, cleaner or caretaker? If so, both husband and nannys loyalty would still be with the employer.

imananny Thu 04-Sep-08 12:54:08

if he he employs nannys husband, then who will look after the baby when she has one?

imananny Thu 04-Sep-08 12:55:18

whoops hit send

or employ and say welcome to stay but make clear that job wont be offered with the nanny coming back with ther child and then the accomd will be with drawn

QuintessentialShadow Thu 04-Sep-08 13:11:16

I find it hard to believe that an indian male will sit home and do babycare.

I reckon sooner or later, his mum and dad will come too.

Any tenancy agreement would state immediate family is allowed to come and live at rented property, and legal definition of immediate family is mum and dad and sister and brother and children of person on the tenancy agreement. I expect there is no agreement, but I think the employer have to consider things legally in terms of there actually being a tenancy agreement. But I could be wrong. I would just be prepared for the fact that husbands mum and dad may be far away.

May I advise that your boss takes legal advice on the entire situation?

AtheneNoctua Thu 04-Sep-08 13:11:29

Do they get to live in the bungalow while she is on her year of maternity leave> If so, where will the temp nanny live?

I really think he accepts there will be a family complete with babies or he says no to husband moving in. Anything else risks him getting sued on grounds of sexual discrimination.

QuintessentialShadow Thu 04-Sep-08 13:12:55

posted too soon.

When my friends nanny got married, she moved from live in to live out. Her employers helped her find accommodation nearby, helped her with deposit, etc, and the nanny signed the tenancy agreement in her name. My friend upgraded her salary to reflect that she was living out, not in.

AtheneNoctua Thu 04-Sep-08 13:14:49

hmm, this is coming round to a point on another thread about a tenancy for a live-in nanny. Either she is a live-in nanny or she is a tenant, I would have though. If he hands her a tenency and askes her to pay rent, doesn't that make her a live-out employee who now has a few more right (like working hours and nimum wage)

Is this girl a UK citizen? What about her husband?

QuintessentialShadow Thu 04-Sep-08 13:20:11

Athene, I think this is a very complicated situation! I am not saying she has to have a tenancy agreement, but the boss might have to think about her rights to the accommodation in those terms legally, and if so, then he may have to accept not just the husband, but inlaws and babies too! He has to check it out.

Also, if her husband is in India, will they have to apply for a family reunion visa for him to come and stay, and how long does that normally take? Can he come on a tourist visa and apply for residency from here? Or will he have to do it from India? Will he have to prove that he is financially able to support himself in the UK, thus using his wife's salary as proof? Ditto Acommodation?

Ops boss has a lot he needs to check out.

A nanny from India, living in the UK, will not necessarily be able to look into these things herself.

AtheneNoctua Thu 04-Sep-08 13:43:30

Completely agree, Quint. There is a big can of worms here I for one would not want to open. The easiest solution is to say no to the husband. Of course he would need to be prepared to get another nanny. (He might want to contact BotheredNanny)

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now