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Any advice from fellow childminders welcome?(6 Posts)
I have been a registered childminder since January and have several new children join me throughout this time.
I have had a new little girl start within the last couple of weeks. She has just turned one within the last few days.
To give you an idea of her situation, she has been at home with her mum from birth until now where she comes here 2 days a week.
She is obviosuly used to her mums company as no grandparents live nearby, and her mum did say she has never really mixed with other children that much. Though she does have an older brother.
Anyway the hand over in the morning is fine, she even waves goodbye at the door! but then she crys consistantly until nap time at 10:30 where she will usually have a good 2 hours. Then she pushes her lunch on the floor and crys consistanly again all afternoon.
I have tried holiding her and giving her cuddles etc which settles her for a few minutes before she wants to get down. If you put her down she cries again. I have tried encouraging her with so many different toys I am running out but she just pushes them away.
She is however perfectly quiet when she is in the car or the pushchair out walking.
Her mum has sent toys from home to try and encourange her but it just is not helping.
I understand it is going to take her a while to get used to it and settle, but I really don't know what to do for the best. I didn't imagine a child could cry for so long! The only thing that did keep her quiet this morning was 10mins of television, when I turned it off, she cried again. Any advice is more than welcome.
I had one like this who started coming to me at 6 months but she cried just as much when she was at home with her mum!! I only had her one day a week and that day was very well planned and usually involved a very long walk. The only thing that would stop her crying and make her smile was the door bouncer which she used most weeks until HV told her parents not to let her use it anymore because it was slowing her ability to walk.
I started taking her to a music group that I often went to with other mindees and 3 weeks in a row we had to leave because she was crying so much.
She's 2 now and I haven't looked after her since Christmas but I think she's slightly better.
If she's happy out in the pushchair is it possible for you to take long walks? How many other mindees do you have at the same time? I generally only had one other mindee and ds before/after school so was easy for me to be out for 3 or 4 hours at a time. Also, the other mindee and ds absolutely adored the baby and would often do silly things to try to make her smile!!!
I have the same issue with my mindee who is 1 yrs old. She is an only child and wasn't used to having other children around her.
I've been minding her for 6 months. She is a sensitive soul and doesn't like too much noise. This is hard as I have 2 other toddlers who love to bang about and are very lively.
I'm hoping in time she will adjust. Also she is teething no end and this isn't helping matters. She cries a lot and fights her sleep. I tend to go out in the pushchair with her every morning so she gets some air. I can't go to groups as she gets too upset with everything going on around her. I totally understand your situation. I'm hoping the phase will fade in time and we can look forward to doing more together.
I've been lucky up til now. All my mindees have been easy going and hardly cried so this is a shock to the system!
I have no answers for you. You sound like you are doing your best!
Oh God, this sounds like a kid I had
He was with me for 6 months and while he improved a bit, it was not enough and when he started going backwards I had to give notice. It was horrendous for us all and I didn't realise how low it made me feel until he left and I felt like an enormous weight was lifted.
I don't know what else you can do, but my main message is to keep detailed records of exactly how long she cries and put a deadline on when it has to stop by. Don't let it go on for a long time, it will really grind you down. Detailed records just help you communicate with the parents, I think they sometimes think other people exaggerate when they say 'X cries all the time'.
I must admit it is becoming a real issue and very unfair on the other toddlers I mind.
Yesterday my mindee who is usually as good as gold, missed out on an afternoon nap due to her continued screaming, and in the afternoon was an utter terror!
She starts off as a bit of grizzling but it turns into full agrression and throws herself on the floor, kicking and screaming.
As yesterday she refused to even sip her juice or eat lunch I became quite worried during the afternoon.
When her mum collected she offered her a drink and she took it!
Clearly I need to give it a bit more time as this is only her first week, but this is the most severe case of seperation anxiety I have ever seen.
I under estimated her, at 12month old I did'nt realise they could be so clever.
LOL (although not at you), she sounds like she is so used to ahving things her way yes even at 1 yr old..that she cant understand why there are other children needing attention too..i know it must be very hard, but i would really emphasize the good behaviour of the other children, let them have their nap in a quieter room away from tantrums and 'ignore'(not leave the room and go to shopsbut turn away, speak to other mindee), sing a nice song with them, laugh..help the little one to see what she knows as normal behaviour, doesnt get attention, but if you're happy and smiling, its much nicer.
re food..id feed her pieces/spoons of the food and not give her the opportunity to throw it away or push plate on floor, if she refuses, spits out etc, dont give anymore (for a little while) stay with them all at table and chat/help other children, basically ignoring the behaviour shes using..every now and then when shes watching the others eating, offer her some, let her know @no desert' if we dont eat our meal (yes they do understand this at early age, i have 1yr old mindee and she knows this all too well)..then let the others have thei desert and repeat to mindee, eat our lunch then we have desert, no lunch, no desert..my mindee is so good eating her lunch now
hope it gets better for you, keep a diary so you can se how things improve.good luck
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