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Male babysitter......ok or not?

(96 Posts)
mieowcat Sun 17-Aug-08 17:41:31

We are looking to find a casual babysitter, and placed an advert locally. we had a 22 year old guy call who works at a local nursery and says he is an experienced babysitter. he said he has references and CRB checked. hes visiting tommorow.
I don't know why but is it ok for a male babysitter to sit for our 7mo baby girl. am i being silly or would anyone else worry?
i realise im being a bit sexist here. hmm

sarah293 Sun 17-Aug-08 17:44:06

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RubySlippers Sun 17-Aug-08 17:44:15

wouldn't worry me in the slightest

happyhoney Sun 17-Aug-08 18:02:28

Gut instict - NO!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry.

TBH I'd rather have someone with those credential than a 14 year old from next door who would spend the night running up a huge phone bill and shagging her boyfriend on my sofa.

Judd Sun 17-Aug-08 18:08:34

Could you call the nursery and ask for a reference?

squeaver Sun 17-Aug-08 18:12:14

I honestly can't see why it would be a problem, especially if you check his refs.

princessglitter Sun 17-Aug-08 18:13:25

I wouldn't - even though it is sexist of me.

DisenchantedPlusBump Sun 17-Aug-08 18:14:48

I would be perfectly happy to have a male nursery worker, but I think its a whole different thing to leave your child alone all night with someone.

I'm not saying he is a oddball but I wouldn't risk it.

Then again I wouldn't leave my baby with a female babysitter I didn't know either. Friends and family only here.

Lauriefairycake Sun 17-Aug-08 18:15:17

With refs, crb and working in a nursery I would bite his hand off shock

He sounds great, meet him and see what you think smile

AtheneNoctua Sun 17-Aug-08 18:16:26

You are of course being sexist. But, if you are not comfotable with the sitter then you will not enjoy your time out, so what would be the point? Might as well stay home.

However, I would be perfectly happy with someone who was CRB checked and worked in a nursery. I mean sitters don't really come much more qualified than that.

JonahTakalua Sun 17-Aug-08 18:20:00

i wouldn't worry about him being male.

but you can't decide whether you would be comfortable with him caring for your child until you and your child meet him.

same as with a woman.

i always pay a new babysitter to come round for a couple of hours in the day, in order to see how they get on with the children.

DisenchantedPlusBump Sun 17-Aug-08 18:20:52

Im sorry but VRB checked doesn't mean anything.

It just means they haven't got CAUGHT doing anyhting.

Im not talking about this particular man but I do know that my gran ran a childrens club for 15 years and over that time she used a childrens entertainer, ke was CRB checked, a good history of working with children, had done so all his life, a well respected man.

And he was a pedophile, hundreds of images founds and several abuse reports finally came out. My gran spent years making sure he never worked in our area again.

Im not saying every man is like this, there are some WONDERFUL males that work with children but please don't just see 'CRB checked' and see it as a guarantee this person is 'OK'

Its a hard thing to decide.

Meet him and see how you feel about him.

nannynick Sun 17-Aug-08 18:21:13

I'm a bloke as many on here know and have been working with children for over 18 years. Attitudes towards men working with children has changed over the past 10 years, though some parents will still feel uncomfortable with having a male carer for their child. When working in pre-school and nursery settings, some parents even then objected to the nursery having a male member of staff. The nursery however has to operate an equal opportunities policy, and felt that children need both male and female role models.

The guy you have been in touch with has been checked by the CRB and by his employer. He is providing you with references, which you can check.

As with anyone who you have care for your children, you need to be happy to leave your child in their care. You should meet them and ask them questions, see how they respond to your child, and see their paperwork such as CRB check, qualification/training certificates, references.

You would be doing that regardless of the persons gender. Remember that women abuse children... as well as men.

sarah293 Sun 17-Aug-08 18:21:22

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luckylady74 Sun 17-Aug-08 18:22:00

I have to know someone as a friend or relative before I ask them to babysit, their sex isn't the issue. I chose my children's preschool because the leader is a trusted neighbour - it's not the nearest one.

luckylady74 Sun 17-Aug-08 18:24:30

My most trusted babysitter is male by the way - dh's best friend and he's so calm unlike my friends!

lindseyfox Sun 17-Aug-08 18:44:21

wouldnt be concerned at all, if you like him when you meet him and crb check is ok, and refernences check out then no need to be worried.

females can harm babies/children too!!

KerryMum Sun 17-Aug-08 19:05:46

agree with riven

but would add that sometimes it's friends that we have to worry about the most.

unfortunately.

pagwatch Sun 17-Aug-08 19:07:20

inteesting thread for me as I have had several friends ask if my 15 year old DS can babysit for them....

sarah293 Sun 17-Aug-08 19:12:50

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KerryMum Sun 17-Aug-08 19:15:08

I know the feeling riven.

nannynick Sun 17-Aug-08 19:15:18

no-one? Is your DD that much of a nightmare? If special needs, then your child's regular carers may be willing to babysit on occasion.

sarah293 Sun 17-Aug-08 19:20:09

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bran Sun 17-Aug-08 19:39:55

I've had male babysitters for DS, one was the boyfriend of our regular babysitter who I didn't know but dh did know quite well and the others have been dh's employees. (Workaholic husband, need I say more. hmm) TBH ds prefers men and always has done, but he is that bit older (4 yrs old), I don't think we really left him with babysitters at all before he was speaking.

I think if you're worried then wait until you find a babysitter you're happy with, but paedophiles are not as pervasive as the tabloids say they are. Do you think your dd has a preference for men or women?

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