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This should probably be in AIBU but I wanted opinions of CM and parents that use a CM

(8 Posts)
OFSTEDoutstanding Wed 06-Aug-08 09:58:55

I am a CM and I am due to give birth in 2 1/2 weeks and am intending on working right up until I go into labour, as I have said on other threads there is too much competition round here for me to take too much time off so will be only taking 2 weeks leave after baby as well so long as delivery goes as well as it did with ds.

All of my parents have been great with this arrangement except one whos attitude seems to be 'well lets hope that you have it in the holidays as then it wont effect us and you will be back to work to collect X on first day back of term'hmm BTW he is a term time only contract and I have had alot of issues with him, he is 5 and has taught my ds (3) some really nasty habits, I have to stand over him when he goes to the loo or he wees on the floor on purpose and runs the tap and says he has washed his hands, his table manners are appalling and my ds is copying and I can't leave him alone in the room for a second as he takes toys off of the younger ones and makes them cry sad.

As of September I lose 2 of my afterschoolies anyway as I am no longer willing to do after school activity runs and another mindee goes to senior school so wont need the care. The more I think about it the more I do not want this mindee back I have not had him for nearly 3 weeks and it has been lovely ds is back to his old much nicer self and there is no pressure to stay switched on at all times in case the mindee misbehaves.

The mother is expecting him to come back to me 2 weeks after baby born but WIBU if I gave notice (my contract says 2 weeks required) and told her that as of Sept I have decided to not take back my after schoolies. FWIW I know she has been looking for alternative care so am expecting her to do same to me.

Sorry its so long but would love advice from both CM and Parents. TIA

libbysmummy Wed 06-Aug-08 10:16:37

Hi Ofsted

Personally I would give notice. It seems that this mindee is not working for you and I think that in your current situation, the most important things is what works for your family.

I gave birth to DS 2 weeks ago and also found that when one mindee had finished for my maternity leave, DD was much more relaxed and happy without this child around.
I gave notice saying that I had decided to cut down my workload and that with a new baby coming I needed to concentrate my time on DD (She is 3) and the parents were fine with it.

You are not being unreasonable in the slightest in my opinion.

ps good luck with the new arrival! grin

MrsFluffleHasAWuffle Wed 06-Aug-08 10:22:29


Simple as

MrsPuddleduck Wed 06-Aug-08 10:22:44

I am just waiting for my certificate to come through and don't have any experience, but this is the sort of scenario I dread.

I would hate to look after a child so out of control. Personally I would serve your notice if you have the chance and you can afford it.

You will have a newborn baby and she/he will (rightly or wrongly) be your priority, plus if the child is out of control and is teaching your own child bad habbits I would definitely get rid. You can do without that sort of influence.

The only thing I would say is to give her as much notice as possible as she can never say anything bad about you then.

beansprout Wed 06-Aug-08 10:24:09

Give her notice and good luck with your new baby!! smile

thelittlestbadger Wed 06-Aug-08 10:26:01

As someone who is using a childminder I would agree that YANBU. The parents sound difficult and it will be hard for you to manage a newborn as well as a [insert proper word here] 5 year old! Best to give the parents as much notice as possible though - even more than the 2 weeks if you can

wannaBe Wed 06-Aug-08 10:33:47

I would give notice.

And I would get this thread deleted.

The parents and child in question sound like a nightmare. But I'm not sure it's appropriate that you should be discussing your (currently paying) clients on an open message board. Given your circumstances it wouldn't be hard for someone to identify you, and that potentially wouldn't do your reputation any favours.

elkiedee Wed 06-Aug-08 12:25:11

As a parent, I think you should give notice for the sake of your own kids and the other mindees, especially the younger ones.

Have you discussed your concerns about his behaviour with the parents ever? If you're going to get out of the arrangement now it's probably not worth the hassle but I just wondered.

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