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Is this reasonable to ask an au pair.....

(128 Posts)
CoffeeAndCarrotCake Sun 03-Aug-08 19:08:40

We've found a great girl from Poland who is going to be our au pair, but as I'm new to this, can you tell me if this sounds reasonable (don't worry, I'm thick skinned):
- 8am - 12noon: do housework (general cleaning, cooking for DD, ironing, etc.)
- 12noon: collect DD from nursery and play with / feed her till either DH gets home or bath and bed time at 7

This would be 4 days a week; the other 3 days and most evenings would be her time, unless we asked her to babysit (no extra pay). She'd have own bedroom and ensuite and food etc. No car as she can't drive, but I'll pay for all travel costs and entry tickets to play centres etc. We live just outside of London (inside M25) and would pay £90/wk.

Am I asking too much or being had?! Thanks for the input!

imananny Sun 03-Aug-08 19:12:07

think the hours would be too long for an au pair - you are asking an 11 hr day - so 44 hrs a week

think they can only do 5hrs a day or about it

you are asking double that, ie nannys hours but wanting to pay an au pairs wage

kittywise Sun 03-Aug-08 19:18:20

Yes that's much too long and it is too much work. An aupair is not supposed to have sole charge of a child either did you know that?

I am having an aupair plus start in September, the plus means she is to do more hours than a normal aupair
normal aupair is 25 hours per week
aupair plus up to about 35 hours.

I will be paying her 100 for 35 hours and she will rarely be asked to have sole charge, perhaps an hour here and there if I have to go out.

pollyanna Sun 03-Aug-08 19:21:10

sgree too many hours even for £90. I pay £70 for 25 hours. It is standard to pay at least £55 (and more ime) for 25 hours a week.

also that is alot of housework. I have had several aps and none have done alot of housework (in fact since my cleaner left I now pay my ap extra to clean once a week). I would say ime aps are not there to do housework, but to help with the children, and most don't expect to do alot of housework.

My aps have all wanted to go to college in the morning. It would be more standard if yours did, say, 5 sfternoons a week, one of which was cleaning maybe and the others childcare. That would still be approx 35 hours a week and you would (imo) have to pay extra.

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Sun 03-Aug-08 19:21:35

Hmmm - as background, initially we were just going to ask her to do 12.30 - 7 (or normally she's out like a light by 6.30)with DD, 4 days per week. From asking around the going rate for that would have been about £55. She wanted to earn more money somehow so we said that if she did some cleaning in the mornings we'd pay more (ie.£90). Not sure if that makes it any better!?

Simply Sun 03-Aug-08 19:22:28

I agree with imananny that the hours are too much for an au pair. I'm not sure if you'd be at home between 12 and 7 whilst she is looking after your dd but if not, I think you need someone qualified and not an au pair. Having said that, you've got someone interested in the job it seems. How qualified and/or experienced in childcare is she?

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Sun 03-Aug-08 19:23:05

Meant to say, DH would often be home with DD and auP but he works from home so can't be looking after her.

pollyanna Sun 03-Aug-08 19:23:50

while I agree that aps are not meant to do sole charge (and my current one doesn't), my last one did, but she had alot of childcare experience and I paid her nanny's wages to reflect this.

silentmadge Sun 03-Aug-08 19:26:37

Who says au pairs shouldn't have sole charge? Advice is that they shouldn't have sole charge of under 2s/3s for long periods, but that's mostly due to the child learning to speak. I was an au pair and had no problems in sole charge of a baby and toddler - totally depends on the capabilities of the individual.

However, totally agree that CoffeeAndCarrotCake wants a nanny/housekeeper on an au pair wage 11 hour days are far too long, I wouldn't expect an au pair plus to do more than 30/35 a week tops. When will she have time for language classes? 12-7 4 days a week would be more realistic.

kittywise Sun 03-Aug-08 19:26:38

It 's still not nearly enough money for what you are asking her to do. The hours are too long, it's as simple as that. As I said earlier she should not be expected to have sole chargge of your dd, she is not a nanny hmm.

I'm not meaning to be nasty here but it is pretty exploitative of you.

StealthPolarBear Sun 03-Aug-08 19:28:37

Why wouldn't she get extra pay for babysitting? No idea if this is standard, sorry, just wanted to ask

kittywise Sun 03-Aug-08 19:29:18

silentmadge, I've got that info from various aupair agencies. As I see it it's there as a rule to protect au pairs from being exploited as cheap, unqualified nannies

moondog Sun 03-Aug-08 19:30:01

Fucking hell.
Is it a slave or an aupair you want? hmm

MamaGLovesMe Sun 03-Aug-08 19:30:17

IIRC au pairs are not allowed sole charge of the children or to work that many hours. I also think it is fair to have one night free baby sitting a week but no more than that.

CaptFabioHiltsCatInTheCooler Sun 03-Aug-08 19:32:38

44 hours a week plus babysitting for £90?
Would you do that?

silentmadge Sun 03-Aug-08 19:33:12

kittywise - as far as I know the "no sole charge" thing is guidance not a legal requirement. If I want my capable au pair to spend her 5 hours work a day looking after a 2 year old then I can.

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Sun 03-Aug-08 19:34:28

Oh dear!!! I certainly hadn't wanted to exploit her! I asked her what she wanted to be paid and then offered her £20 more than that. She used to be a cleaner so she actually wanted to do extra cleaning in the mornings to earn a bit more and because she says she enjoys it (!?!!?).

silentmadge Sun 03-Aug-08 19:38:51

CACC - I'd say the basic 25 hours plus pocket money covers her room, board, travel etc. Any extra hours cleaning she does pay at an hourly rate. That's what I'd do.

CoffeeAndCarrotCake Sun 03-Aug-08 19:38:52

I do appreciate all your feedback; I have no idea about having an au pair and she has friends who are au pairs, so I spoke with her, found out what she wanted to do and what she wanted to be paid then offered her more money than she asked for. I wanted to double check that I'm being fair by running it past you people who have more experience than me. I can now see that I should pay more and ask her to do less, and I will do so. However, I think that swearing at me is a little un called for and offensive! I do not appreciate this at all.

farrowandball Sun 03-Aug-08 19:38:52

you absolutely should not treat her in that way. work out what bed and board is worth, add the £90 then divide it by the hours you are talking about. then - think whether you would be happy for one of your kids to work for that.

she clearly has no idea of wages etc here.

farrowandball Sun 03-Aug-08 19:38:53

you absolutely should not treat her in that way. work out what bed and board is worth, add the £90 then divide it by the hours you are talking about. then - think whether you would be happy for one of your kids to work for that.

she clearly has no idea of wages etc here.

bracingair Sun 03-Aug-08 19:43:22

90-55 is 35 for cleaning.
per hour that is 2.19 (35 divided by 4x4)
so you are underpapying for cleaning

MamaGLovesMe Sun 03-Aug-08 19:48:48

In 1990 I was paid about £60 a week in Belgium. I had to clean the 3 storey house once a week (didn't know that until I had been there 5 weeks. shock) and look after the 5 year old for about 4 hours a day. Weekends were mostly free. No extra £ for babysitting apart from a couple of times. I had to cook for the child, do their washing and some shopping for them.

silentmadge Sun 03-Aug-08 19:50:51

If I were you I'd think about paying £55 as part of the au pair deal, then an extra £5 an hour for the cleaning - £135 a week I think?

imananny Sun 03-Aug-08 19:58:50

maybe a young girl out from college (first job etc) who needs exp would be more suitable for those hours 44 a week - unless you drop them to 12-7 though still is 28hrs a week and still over the rec amount for au pairs

that is a lot of cleaning 4hrs every morning and if she does that and looks after your child in pm,when will she be able to study/learn language?

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