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Taking the nanny on holiday

(76 Posts)
2HotCrossBunnies Tue 29-Jul-08 13:45:55

I am just wondering whether anyone has done this and what the "norm" is? We are thinking about a quick week away for October half term and considering taking the nanny with us (it's our first nanny and we have previously done Mark Warner type holidays) to give us some flexibility and allow DH some guilt-free windsurfing time.

However it's proving expensive - is it ok for the nanny to share a room with at least 1 of the DC or should she have her own space? Also can you do a "deal" for the week pay-wise considering that we are paying for her to come with us?

Any thoughts/tips welcome. Thanks

justaphase Tue 29-Jul-08 13:57:18

There isn't much you can do on the pay - it is your holiday, not hers. She is still working so you need to pay her her wages.

What we did to make it work out cheaper was: used airmiles, hired a car and hired a cottage with enough rooms - the extra cost of taking her with us was minimal.

The problem was that the kids would much rather spend time with us then the nanny, so it was not possible to use her when everyone was together.

Also, on day 3, DS got a horendous cold so I stayed with him at the cottage and the nanny went sightseeing.

All in all it was not worth taking her in the end. She did have a lovely time though and was very grateful afterwards. Which, I guess is a good thing. I just considered it a bonus for her.

paros Tue 29-Jul-08 14:03:56

If anything you should pay her more as she is away from home .

MrsWobble Tue 29-Jul-08 14:06:06

I don't think there is a norm - it's up to whatever you agree wiht the nanny. Depending on the circumstances there will be some nannies who would jump at the chance and not mind sharing etc and there will be others who would want paying substantial overtime away from home payments. Both attitudes are completely understandable - you will know your nanny's situation and know whether she would find it a bonus or a chore.

Don't assume that the nanny will view it as a holiday though - she's not chosen it and she's still working. I don't consider business trips as holiday so wouldn't expect my nanny to either.

And whatever you decide, make sure everyone is clear about the arrangements including expenses and time off. that way your holiday won't be ruined by resentment on either or both sides.

mummypoppins Tue 29-Jul-08 14:08:07

whatever you domake sure it is agreed and understood before you go. We took our nanny to Centre parcs for the weekend. She didnt pay or lift a finger whilst we were there. She didnt say thankyou or take it as holiday.

Shant be doing that again!

2HotCrossBunnies Tue 29-Jul-08 14:12:24

oh dear! Our nanny currently does 43 hours over a 4 day week whilst I am at work. I was hoping that as her "daily" hours will be less whilst we are away - prob 3/4 per day, so 28-30 over the week - that it would be less for us in terms of wages. Plus we will be paying for her meals, drinks, accomm for the whole week - she's live out so she has her breakfast and lunch with the DC on her work days.

I see the point about the kids wanting to spend time with the parents rather than nanny. I was hoping that whilst DH was windsurfing, I could be sunbathing and kids with the nanny in the morning/afternoon and then spend time as a family in the afternoon/morning and she could be off doing her own thing.

2HotCrossBunnies Tue 29-Jul-08 14:15:41

sorry cross-posted. Thanks Mummypoppins and Mrs W. Agree that we should make it clear what's what before we go. So far I've just asked her if, in principle, she would be happy to come away with us, to which she said yes. When she realised it was overseas (prob Canaries) her face lit up - fingers crossed she will be positive about it!

mummypoppins Tue 29-Jul-08 14:17:37

You need to talk to her. She maybe delighted just to get away and get some sun!! If she cant afford a holiday herself that mey be her only option.

Nothing ventured nothing gained. If you dont ask her you will never know.

From what I know now I am not suprised by my nanies behaviour as she is the worlds worst freeloader but we have taken Au pairs away with us before and they have been fantastic!

MrsWobble Tue 29-Jul-08 14:17:39

i think you are unlikely to convince her that she needs paying less. In fact, she would have a reasonable point that she will be working 7 days that week rather than 4. You should talk to her and ask her if she would be able to come with you and from her answer you can judge whether she's keen or not. She may well have evening commitments that she'll have to change or miss so you shouldn't assume she'll be able to come even if you want her to.

mummypoppins Tue 29-Jul-08 14:18:57

crossposted again..........sounds like you will be able to agree something with her !

Good Luck!

Cosette Tue 29-Jul-08 14:21:12

If you think she would see it as a bonus, then you could give her a choice - stay at home, and take the time off as part of her annual holiday entitlement, or come on the trip with you, where her working hours would be xx per day, with a weekly rate of xx.

Agree you need to be very clear on what is "her time", so that she knows when she can relax.

Bink Tue 29-Jul-08 14:22:40

We've done it, very successfully, on a skiing holiday a couple of years ago.

Nanny had her own (single) room, while we (family of 4) had a family suite, all in same hotel.

We paid her travel, holiday kit necessities like ski hire, and her normal wages. We also paid for her skiing lessons, because she was doing those with (and helping supervise) the children.

Role was very clear: she met us for breakfast, took over the children for skiing, rest of morning & up to mid-afternoon; we took children back mid-afternoon when we got back from our skiing; then she had dinner with us (but just for sociability - if she'd wanted to do something else for dinner she was free to). And out of her own individual niceness, after a day or two she insisted on being the one who took the children up for bed, so's to leave dh & me having a tranquil drink after dinner. Overall, her hours were slightly shorter than at home.

I did masses of research on how to do it, and though I do agree there isn't a "norm" I think our way of doing it was a pretty good example of fair-to-both-sides reasonableness.

justaphase Tue 29-Jul-08 14:24:59

I was wondering about that at the time actually - what if she says no. I am not able to refuse a business trip at work, not without a very good reason, so why should she? Also, I don't get paid extra for going away on business. And I am expected to travel in my own time - so if I am travelling to the US, fly out on the weekend and be at work on Monday morning.

At the same time, I would not expect a pay cut if I was only going there for a 2-hour meeting and would be shopping for the rest of the day. Would just take it as a perk. So it works both ways.

Bottom line is - I think you should pay her normal salary. But obviously, see what she thinks too.

Bink Tue 29-Jul-08 14:25:57

Of course, it is only truthful to say that, with all that, it was a VERY expensive holiday. We only took her because, at the ages the children were (and with ds's inability to do unfamiliar group things - so ordinary ski school was out) we were not otherwise going to have a skiing holiday at all. So I would think quite hard about whether your holiday circs really mean you need her.

Bink Tue 29-Jul-08 14:29:37

Justaphase - presumably business travel is in your contract? Or you're in a field where travelling on business is the norm for the role, & so it's therefore implied in your contract? If travelling with the family wasn't in a nanny's contract I would think it was completely justifiable to refuse. (It is in our nanny's contract.)

2HotCrossBunnies Tue 29-Jul-08 14:34:57

That's interesting Bink thank you - I was thinking of something similar re the accommodation arrangements. My DC are 3 and 1 so the other problem I am facing is that many hotels can't fit a cot and a fold out bed in a standard double and some hotels don't have suites or they are expensive so interconnecting/adjancent doubles with the children split between the rooms might be better. If she is in her own room then there is a single occupancy charge also. I don't want to be "tight" but I do want a holiday we can afford!!

The other issue I have is that she doesn't have enough paid annual leave left to be paid and stay at home. I feel guilty about squeezing in an extra holiday for us and leaving her on unpaid leave for the week!

2HotCrossBunnies Tue 29-Jul-08 14:55:51

By the way thank you all for such prompt responses!

BlingLovin Tue 29-Jul-08 15:02:27

Justaphase: doesn't that annoy you intensely that you're expected to travel on your own time? It is my pet peeve about business travel - get up at sparrow's fart, take plane/train to destination, work hard all day in 100s of meetings then take train/plane home, getting back middle of the night. Seems so ridiculous. More compromise from employers is needed!

QuintessentialShadows Tue 29-Jul-08 15:08:54

You might find it cheaper to leave nanny at home with the kids, and just pay her overtime for that. Then you get to truly enjoy your time away for sunbathing and relaxing.

Personally I wouldnt take nanny or au pair. If you are going on a beach holiday, you can sunbathe while the kids play next to you in the sand and your dh windsurf. And you can negotiate your time with dh so he takes the kids for a bit while you get some space, seing as he got to do windsurfing.

whooosh Tue 29-Jul-08 15:17:57

We took ours twice.The first time worked OK as dd was younger and the nanny had her after breakfast till lunch.She got her usual salary,3hrs a day sunbathing and ate out with us every night.We got her a room next to us for her and dd but boy was it expensive.She didn't view her 3hrs a day as time off,we offered her day trips and she refused so there was a bit of friction upon return.However,it was a very expensive holiday and we wouldn't do it again.

The second time we took her to Florida-not becasue we needed to but becasue we thought it would be nice for her.Well it was nice for her as she was happy for us to care for dd when we were in the villa so she could sunbathe.We also paid for her to come to disney with us-not that we needed (or wanted) any help there-we were just being nice.

So,as everyone has said,be clear before you go,exactly how it will work as I did end up feeling slightly bitter that she had more of a holiday than me at my expense.

catepilarr Tue 29-Jul-08 15:28:37

ad 'The other issue I have is that she doesn't have enough paid annual leave left to be paid and stay at home. I feel guilty about squeezing in an extra holiday for us and leaving her on unpaid leave for the week!'

i dont think you can do that either. its you going away not nanny not beeing able to work. why should she be on unpaid leave because you decided to take extra holiday?

2HotCrossBunnies Tue 29-Jul-08 15:31:14

I was wondering if I was being a little unrealistic about this so thank you everyone for your thoughts. I think it might end up being too much cost for too little gain but I will see how the nanny feels - perhaps she will rather come with us rather than stay at home for no pay... Generally she's very hands on with the kids, not at all lazy.
I was also hoping that me and DH could get some time on our own/evenings out too.

shouldbeironing Tue 29-Jul-08 15:32:31

Only time I took nanny with us it was horrible. She (understandably) didnt know anyone else so refused to leave us alone except at bedtime! Wasnt the sort to go off on her own even in a dream location. When I asked it she wanted to go and do something herself she said she would rather just do whatever we were doing.

It meant that the line between work/not work was so blurred I didnt know what "hours" she had done and felt like I didnt get much break at all. She did take the kids out/look after them at times but all in all was so not worth it.

We paid her normal wages plus all the obvious expenses (it was a resort and there were enough rooms for her to have her own).

Definitely agree the hours with her including whether or not you are counting the travelling hours (to be fair I did count ours as one place she was really useful was on the flight). And discuss/agree when you would expect her to NOT be with you/your family and make sure she is happy with that too.

TheFallenMadonna Tue 29-Jul-08 15:33:43

Why would she get no pay if she didn't come with you? Do you mean if you offered to pay for her to go and she turned you down?

2HotCrossBunnies Tue 29-Jul-08 15:37:18

Caterpilarr - I agree the unpaid leave thing is v. difficult. She has 4 weeks paid annual leave in total and she is having a long-ish holiday to her home country over the summer which leaves her short for the reminder of the year anyway. So do we not go away? Do we pay her more paid annual leave than she is entitled to? I'm not sure what we should do really, hence the thought of taking her with us!

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