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Yippee! I am no longer a nanny employer!(21 Posts)
It will be fine!
Just wait until you're entirely free from being an employer - it's fab
Sorry - was forgetting employing cleaner/gardener - that doesn't ever end, of course.
i'm a few months ahead of you on this journey Jura - our last nanny left in the middle of May to go on maternity leave and we haven't replaced her (at least not directly - we've changed other arrangements). we are all still alive and talking to each other.....
Yay Jura-we will be only a day or two ahead of you....our "not a nanny" arrives on 4th August and cannot wait.
With school fees it will still be as/more expensive than a nanny but less "hassle"-I hoe
Do you not 'employ' au pairs? What is the difference. And why is it better?
Sounds great! What do they do in the evenings / weekends? Do they join you in watching TV, or generally stay in their room / annex?
BTW, I am no longer a nanny employer, and I must admit I quite like the freedom - however, I am using a nursery, which I am not entirely happy with - hence the interest. I hope it goes well for you.
How have you found the change from nanny to nursery? You say you aren't entirely happy... is that due to the actual nursery, or more nurseries in general?
It will be interesting over the next month or so to see how all your au-pairs settle in. I expect there will be lots more messages on here about au-pairs, your trials and tribulations, success stories etc.
Good luck with August 7th. We have been nanny-less since last summer and, with a few wobbles (sorry Mrs Wobble, wrong word!), it has been fine.
One observation: We got on very well with all our nannies and still see or are in regular contact with all of them. However, none of our nannies really wanted us around during the day. For our au pairs the reverse has been true. They seemed bemused, unsettled and I think rather unhapppy until DH retired. Once he was at home all day, everything changed. My guess is that, with DH there, our house felt more like a home, they were less isolated and more management and direction actually made their job easier and more interesting. They will be leaving at the end of August and we'll be very sad to see them go. (In fact, they wanted to stay on, but we felt that, great though they've been, a year is probably the right length for a job that was never intended to be more than an interlude/stepping stone.) It's a bit of an obvious point really. Nannies are professionals who want to get on with their job and generally prefer remote management; au pairs are here to experience another culture and learn English and close and continuous contact with their host family helps them to do that. I can't think why it took us so long to realise it!
Oh so it's not just me then....I have a nanny helping me 2 days a week at the moment. I am on maternity leave with DD2 (2 mths) (have a DS1 - 19mths) and no family around to help me.
She hates staying in the house with me and takes DS1 out the whole time (he does come home for his lunch and nap).
I was starting to feel paranoid....!
I completely agree. The costs of au pairs go beyond the financial I think and you need to be prepared for rather more emotional drain than a nanny. It's obviously down to individual preference but we actually reverted back from live in foreigner to qualified English nanny because I just couldn't stand both the amount of domestic management required and dh's inability to see it.
we are now both nanny less and au pair less. domestic management is still an issue but fully recognised and shared by dh and, less than with an au pair because there is one less set of variables in the equation.
however, i fully recognise that our current system only works because dd1 is showing all the character traits that i think would have equipped her to have been a fomidable memsahib in the days of the Raj. other than at times of teenage tantrum (which are still fortunately sparse) she is the best support i could possibly ask for.
No it's not just you! We have had four nannies over that last several years. They have all been fantastic, we've had excellent relationships with all of them (DH and the DDs have already arranged two days out in the holidays with our last nanny), but none of them enjoyed having us around during the day. I work from home a couple of days a week and tried to stay in my home office and only emerge for pre-planned 'visits' downstairs.
Part of DH's domestic responsibilities, now he has retired, is to 'look after' our au pairs. He is fundamentally much better at it than me, he has the time to do it and because he's not working, actually enjoys the company. Particularly that of our male au pair - lots of male-bonding trips to Travis Perkins. When we were both working full-time, neither of us had the time or emotional energy that our au pairs required or deserved and the whole set-up became quite difficult.
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