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WWYD with this mindee

(11 Posts)
FrustratedCM Wed 09-Jul-08 20:29:47

Name changed for this

Have had mindee 5 years from baby till now end of reception. She has been with me 5 days a week 8-5.

For about the last two years her concentration has not been good, and seems to be getting worse.

She also just doesn't listen, no that is not true she hears what you say, but does not act on it at all, even if she wants to, she will do the opposite.

If I ask her to put her shoes away she will just throw them in the hall, (all children have their own drawers to put their belongings in)

I ask her to please sit still at the table and not to put her drink on the edge EVERYDAY! every day she does and it ends up on the floor.

She has tantrums at the drop of the hat, if she doesn't get her own way, and ends up sobbing, (although when we have had a big meltdown, and I let her cry it out, she then seems to settle for the rest of the week, and sympathy will keep the tantrum going)

She can turn the tantrum off just as quick as she can on.

If the other children ask her to do/not do something she will do the opposite, till the point they get fed up.

Obviously this is not good for any of them especially not the 5 years old as she feels that she is left out.

I really don't know where to go with her, today I asked her to do something as we were getting out of the car, she just ignored me, and carried on doing exactly what she wanted, when I asked her why she didn't do as I asked, she just shrugs, if I push for a answer she just says don't know.

Now this is a bright intelligent child, who has articulate and has talked since she was 14 months in very clear sentences.

I get so frustrated with her at times, as it feels that I am always having to remind her about everything, and its always her name I seem to be saying, which must get her fed up.

Any ideas?

suwoo Wed 09-Jul-08 20:32:55

Sounds just like my 6 year old DD TBH.

FrustratedCM Wed 09-Jul-08 20:38:13

I think I get so frustrated, cos this was the little girl, who was first into everything as a toddler, with a imagination that took her to the heavens and back, would drag all the toys out and organise all the other children (who were all older than her at the time) now, is just away with the fairies most of the time, ot tantrums,

I had never seen her tantrum till she was about 3.5!

MindingMum Wed 09-Jul-08 20:38:45

Sounds to me like she is so comfortable with you, you having had her so long she probably feels completely at home and plays up like she would for her Mum.

Annoying as it is, I'd take it as a compliment

HackedOffByGossip Wed 09-Jul-08 20:43:18

Sounds like my 6yr old.

Despite my sister telling me she is 'too old to still be doing it'. hmm

FrustratedCM Wed 09-Jul-08 20:45:01

smile Thats a wry smile, she certainly plays mum up the same!

The 6 year old I have has been with me the same length of time and she is great!

Is G&T tho, and is going to outstrip me before long smile

Just can be soooooooo frustrating!! The little ones are starting to copy her as well.

I know a lot is attention seeking as there are now Littler ones than her in the house, the first younger one coming in coincided with her tantrums beginning, and I knew that it was because she wasn't the youngest, but by now you would think that she would be used to having younger ones in. She is not the youngest by a long way now, their are three younger than her, which to be honest she ignores most of the time.

FrustratedCM Wed 09-Jul-08 20:46:34

Just venting really, we have all been shut in the house all day, and it was not fun!

usually we are outside and its not so bad.

london11 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:10:09

Star/reward chart? Some kind of visual prompts - do you know what I mean? Something that shows her what she should be doing?

Failing that - the cupboard under the stairs? Might save your sanity

KaySamuels Wed 09-Jul-08 21:46:42

Can see how this would be frustrating for you!

Can you pick your battles? I really try to ignore all bad behaviour that doesn't involve dangerous situations / mean to another child. And over the top pile on praise, even if it is really hard to find something to praise. grin

I think reception is a bad year behaviour wise for most kids (is there a good year?!?). Are there any areas she does do well with that you could use?

I often have the drink problem, and when I do after the first time, the drink goes in the kitchen behind the safety gate, they can ask me for it when thirsty, drink and then back on the worktop. I have enought to do without needlessy cleaning floors with mindees around!

busymum1 Wed 09-Jul-08 22:04:49

why not try asking her to throw put shoes in hall not in drawer, ask her to put drink on edge of table not in middle and any more annoying things you can think of, might seem mad but if she wants to play opposites game she will do as you have wanted all this time if she prefers to do her usual treat her like baby take shoes off her and put them out of her reach take drink away or give cup with non spill lid at least you will know if deliberate or how she feels you expect her to behave and praise praise praise for good behaviour also could you ask her to help with little ones as she is big helper etc etc

busymum1 Wed 09-Jul-08 22:05:12

why not try asking her to throw put shoes in hall not in drawer, ask her to put drink on edge of table not in middle and any more annoying things you can think of might seem mad but if she wants to play opposites game she will do as you have wanted all this time if she prefers to do her usual treat her like baby take shoes off her and put them out of her reach take drink away or give cup with non spill lid at least you will know if deliberate or how she feels you expect her to behave and praise praise praise for good behaviour

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