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I think I need to advertise for a grandmother!

(26 Posts)
CountessDracula Thu 25-Nov-04 11:26:05

I really need someone who will give me some back-up when our nanny is sick or on holiday. My mum has always helped out but she has too much on her plate at the moment and is not physically up to it after her recent fall down the stairs and stay in hospital, plus her husband is dying so I just cannot call on her.

This week the nanny was sick for 2 days (so was I, so I had to take 4 days off altogether). Next week she has a hospital appointment that she has been waiting for for ages.

She has a day's holiday in December.

And I have NO holiday left, dh is so busy at work and we just have no give at the moment.

Do you think it might be a good idea to advertise for someone to be a (paid) grandmother?! Ie to help out as and when needed. Or should I just ring a nanny agency? Anyone know how much it costs? Also dd is v clingy to me and the nanny at the moment so I really hate the thought of leaving her with different people all the time.

How do the rest of you cope?

motherinferior Thu 25-Nov-04 11:28:58

In three words (or possibly four): IT's BLOODY DIFFICULT. I think there's a real division between those parents who can call on family support and those who can't. We grit our teeth and grumble, mostly, giving an edited version of the truth to employers. Last time dd2 was poorly her dad and I both took a day off and worked till godknowswhen, grumbling all the while. I am sorry but wish I knew the effing solution! xxx

SantaFio2 Thu 25-Nov-04 11:30:10

I would try the grandmother idea if you live in an area where there are lots of 'older' people. I am currently vetting a 'mature' woman for babysitting duties

dont know about the agency, i poresume they would be able to cover emergencies

Hope you are okay btw, and not still vomitting

CountessDracula Thu 25-Nov-04 11:35:02

Well I had the vomitting bug but not vomitting as don't do that. Had terrible stomach pains and nausea, still not right really

Don't get me wrong, I love the extra days that I get to spend with dd - not sure work love them so much but hey they can stick it really!#

welshmum Thu 25-Nov-04 11:35:38

I've got a crafty but unfortunately long term solution that I hope will work out in the next year(!) I've identified a lovely older Italian lady on our street so I'm starting to chat to her, then I'm going to do come round for tea and buildup from there. I think she doesn't work and is at home all day - her children and their kids don't seem to be much in evidence. Don't know if you've come across anyone with potential like that near where you live??
Totally sympathise with the predicament - I have one useless father and 2 in-laws in NZ! I love them all dearly obviously but they can't help us.

Bozza Thu 25-Nov-04 12:02:06

CD sounds like a nice idea if you can find someone - a bit more continuity for DD.

I so know what you mean about the vomitting bug without the vomitting. I had that last weekend and it was horrible. DH has managed to be poorly on a work day so gets to stay in bed in the empty house.

As to what we do. Well the kids go to nursery so its only when they are poorly/have appts that we have an issue. So its a case of holidays (mine), work flexibility (his) and thats about it. Easier because I work part time - had both DS and DD at the doctor on Monday and am planning on taking DD tomorrow - she's moved on from d&v to a chesty cough.

CountessDracula Thu 25-Nov-04 12:04:50

bozza so has my dd! I was thinking of taking her this pm, she has had a highish temperature and lots of very chesty coughing for a couple of days now.

Flum Thu 25-Nov-04 12:17:25

Do you have a cleaner or anything? I know lots of people use their cleaner for babysitting and emergencies.

CountessDracula Thu 25-Nov-04 12:32:14

I do but she has lots of other jobs too. My old cleaner was also my nanny's sister but she has now got a f/t job. Arrrrgh.

There is one woman I have just thought of who I could try. She started cleaning for me and she used to be a nanny and is v sweet - she had a badly arthritic foot though and couldn't cope with all our stairs with the cleaning. I will call her now.

soapbox Thu 25-Nov-04 13:09:21

CD - remind me where you are?

I have an excellent casual arrangement with a US girl who lives in South London who stands in for me when nanny is ill or on hols etc.

She is very reliable and has some (but not extensive) childcare experience.

I pay her £75 a day, for a full day or £6 an hour for part days. AFAIK she is still available.

She is prepared to travel quite a distance.

If you think she could help you out then let me know and I can put you in touch with each other!

Caligula Thu 25-Nov-04 13:09:25

You could also ask your cleaner if she knows anyone. Word of mouth is usually the best way.

muminlondon Thu 25-Nov-04 13:31:46

Hope you get over the vomiting bug soon. So far DH and I have been able to cover our childminder's holiday equally between us (she's not taken any days off sick). If we run into problems there's always our right to unpaid parental leave and emergency time off for dependants. I think I get 5 paid days off for emergencies where I work.

Uwila Thu 25-Nov-04 13:56:50

CD, what about a registered chilminder in the area. Some of them babysit. And there is probably at least one around who isn't actually "full" and could take your dd on short notice.

Or, maybe your nanny has friends who could fill in on a day? Do you have friends who have nannies who might me willing for their nanny to look after your dd as well on the odd day?

CountessDracula Thu 25-Nov-04 14:02:03

Well Uwila, I did have a childminder who did this but for various reasons I am not happy with her (she runs a playgroup and I went one day with dd and found she had left an 18 month old on her own in the church downstairs in a buggy, was there for at least 10 mins; plus dd hates her and cries if her name is mentioned so I just don't want to use her any more!)

Soapbox I am in East Sheen do you think she would travel to there?

soapbox Thu 25-Nov-04 14:05:41

CD - she lives in Brockley - so she could go into town and then back out again???

If you are interested I will email her and find out!

CountessDracula Thu 25-Nov-04 14:13:58

Hmmm may be difficult as she would need to start at 8am

soapbox Thu 25-Nov-04 14:24:35

Hmm - that might be a bit difficult. She has done 7.45 starts for us before but we've picked her up from the station and I think she just goes straight into London Bridge and then from London Bridge out to Chislehurst - which is not too bad a journey. If she has to change between London stations then probably too much for her to do.

However, if you get desparate do let me know and I will ask her anyway

soapbox Thu 25-Nov-04 14:26:00

Other option which I have used is to ring nanny agency and ask if they have anyone on their books who is between jobs they can recommend. I ended up paying £20 to the agency on top of paying the nanny, but since it was urgent then just swallowed it!!

soapbox Thu 25-Nov-04 14:27:40

Me again

I have also in the past asked another family with a nanny who I knwo well if their nanny would nanny share for a day or two. The other family let the nanny keep the money I paid - so she was very very happy!

CountessDracula Thu 25-Nov-04 14:30:16

I agree that would be fine (and much cheaper than taking a day off work!) but I am trying to avoid dd being dumped with just anyone, esp while she is so clingy.

Have left message for nice grannyish type up the road, can't believe I didn't think of her before!

prufrock Thu 25-Nov-04 19:51:16

Have you tried one of the babysitting agencies like sitters? They often use mature women, and should be able to ofer you the same one time after time.

CountessDracula Thu 25-Nov-04 19:59:25

Oh joy nice grannyish type has agreed to be our stand-in! We are going to see her on Saturday and she will start immediately. She has a couple of part time jobs, one looking after autistic kids and one taking a person with learning difficulites out one afternoon a week, but the hours and days on these are very flexible so she said she will probably be able to fit in with our needs at short notice.


CountessDracula Thu 25-Nov-04 20:00:10

plus she still does occasional stuff for the children she was nanny to for 7 years. So I have a really good checkable reference.

(thanks pru for your post btw)

cacahuete Fri 24-Jul-09 21:50:48

Message withdrawn

gizzy1973 Sat 25-Jul-09 23:14:13

what about any of the other nannies around that your nanny sees and also your dd would know?

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