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CM Club - Drop Off's..........sometimes making me late for school......

(42 Posts)
looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 10:56:27


All mindees who are dropped off with me arrive between 8.15-8.30am (I charge from 8.30 as that's when they want me but I ask them to come around 8.15am, free of charge, to make sure I leave on time). One family do a very quick drop off, no update or anything but at least it's quick and we get to school (well...ds's nursery) on time. The other baby is dropped off perfectly (i.e. quick update but then off) by dad but when mum drops off sometimes it leads to a chat whilst I'm rushing to get ds's teeth brushed, shoes on, maybe lunch finished etc (unfortunately he goes a bit mad when other grown ups are here and doesn't listen to me properly until they've gone).

Yesterday and quite often when she drops off, I end up late dropping ds off. Luckily it's ok as they are very casual at the nursery as no register and being a little late is not a problem. Thing is, I don't want my job making him late and also, I'm going to be doing a school run to pre-school soon and I MUST be on time.

Is it acceptable for me to make a comment about drop offs having to be quick? I have a diary system and welcome parents updating it too but I just don't have time for 10-15 mins of chit chat about what mindee has been doing since last week, I really wish I did but it's the time they drop off which makes this a problem.

This morning mum dropped baby but was very quick and said 'sorry, gotta rush as off to appointment' so I was actually relieved HOWEVER, was also a bit annoyed that my hints yesterday and other days about rushing to get ready are just not registering.

Any advice? Please, I need to sort this but not seem unfriendly at the same time.


hennipenni Fri 28-Sep-07 11:01:34

Looney, definatly have words, your parents would not be happy if you made them late for work, so it should also work the other way round. I had similar probs (DDS school come down very heavily on lateness, so far we have avoided the "latebook" but was close on a fair few occasions.). I now tell parents that they have to be here 10 mins before I leave or they can meet me at school or wait until I get home. I will and have left for school before parents have arrived.

hennipenni Fri 28-Sep-07 11:03:05

Maybe write it in a newsletter?

looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 11:05:17

Cheers henni, I'm in the middle of doing a newsletter so will add something. They DO arrive 10 mins before I leave, the problem is I'm always rushing around in those last 10 mins (presume we all do?) and have no time for a chat. do you know what I mean?!

clandestine Fri 28-Sep-07 11:07:17

If I am paying someone to look after my child for the day, then imo that includes time for a decent handover. I use a nanny not a child minder but I always make sure they turn up 15mins before I leave to ensure a proper hand over.

I'm afraid like all of us who work, your own personal things should be taken care of before work starts. So DS dressed, packed lunches made etc etc etc before 8.15 when you start work.

It is someone's child you are talking about here not a dog!

hennipenni Fri 28-Sep-07 11:09:07

Yes, I know exactly what you mean about rushing about. Can you say to mindees mum that in future you will be leaving at xx time, and if she needs to hand anything over then she needs to be earlier? Alternatively(sp) ask her to write in babies diary?

hennipenni Fri 28-Sep-07 11:11:39

Clandestine, a proper handover is fine and is what we all expect, but a general chit chat is not the best thing in the mornings when you are trying to get everybody ready for school. And nobody mentioned anything about treating our mindees as dogs!

hennipenni Fri 28-Sep-07 11:13:03

And I certainly won't have my children up anf dressed ready to go out the door at 7am when I start work either.

looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 11:14:28

God you've totally misunderstood me haven't you. I WANT a handover but they have to come earlier. I should have made it a bit clearer, my fault. This handover is ok if they are here bang on 8.15 but when they arrive at 8.25, I don't have time for a 10/15 mins handover, they know I need to be in the car and leaving at 8.30. This is why I offer the free time and say can drop off at 8.15. If they come at 8.25 I can't offer the same about of time to listen. Does that make sense? Sorry, I was rushing with my post as I was about to get a mindee up from a nap.

looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 11:16:02

Thanks henni, that's exactly it! It's the 'chit chat' I was talking about. The thing is, me and the mum have become very good friends and that's great but the chit chat is at the wrong time, I just can't do it at that time of the morning. And no, I never said anything about being a dog!

looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 11:19:24

BTW, parents are very welcome to start earlier, I made it clear when parents chose this time to drop off that it would be rush time. If they dropped off at 8am then fine, I'd still have the rush just before going out of door, nothing I can do about that as I will not have ds sitting in his shoes and coat etc 15 mins before leaving.

looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 11:48:47

Another point.......what do you do when everyone drops off at once, not being funny but having a nanny YOU EMPLOY is one thing, us having several parents arrive all at the same time and right near school run time is a bit different - can't all queue up for a proper handover.

I hope the people who know me on here realise I don't treat my mindees like dogs, I'm a very kind and fair person, I just don't have time for long general chit chats 5 mins before the school run.

MaureenMLove Fri 28-Sep-07 12:00:38

Perfectly acceptable to explain that drop offs are kept to the important facts and no more. I had a mum once who dropped her dd off at 8.25 with soaking wet long hair and she said 'sorry, didn't have time to dry her hair, I'm going to miss my train!' We have to leave at 8.30 to get to school on time!

I'd stick a note in your T&C's next time you update them too.

MaureenMLove Fri 28-Sep-07 12:04:58

I don't think I've ever had mass drop offs tbh! They all start at very different times. Going home can be difficult at times though, so its just sign out and I'll call you in half an hour!

Shoshable Fri 28-Sep-07 12:10:01

Lt have the same prob. have to leave at 8.20. Breakfast is from 7.50 -8.10, gives me time to do mindees hair (mum cant do plaits grinand mindee gets nits really easily)which I offered to do.

the ten minutes after breakfast gives me time to do her hair chuck the dishes in the washer, wipe the table, change nappy (cos one ALWAYS needs doing, and load all four children into the car.
two mindees including the one I do hair, keep arriving at 8.10!!!

Have asked and asked they try for a while then it slips again, put it on countless newsletters.

Thing is they are really lovely families I wouldnt swap for anything, just wish they could be on time.

Its such arush if not if I dont get away till 8.30 I get stuck behind the school bus going to the senior school down a narrow country lane and end up late.

Plus by the time i get to school all the other CM's have gone, (we usually take it in turns to go in, so we can watch each others cars so we dont have to get LO's out in the cold, just the schoolies) so it invloves getting out the double pushchair, attaching the seat2go, getting all three under 18 months out, just to take in a 5 year old for two mins, then reverse it all to get back into the car!

looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 12:13:27

Cheers Mo. I will put something in the newsletter and put in t&c's. I actually WANT a handover, I just can't stand politely chatting about what we've been up to etc. I was asking about drop off's at the same time as from Jan, I'll have them pretty much arriving at the same time, hopefully it won't be a problem though.

I do take on board the stuff about lunch etc, admittedly we were a bit behind yesterday as first day back at nursery after ds having chicken pox. I will make sure all my things are done that can be but I still can't have this chit chatting.

Thanks for your time, I've fed baby now so need to get ready to pick ds up from lunch club

bozza Fri 28-Sep-07 12:17:18

Can't the chit-chat be at pick up time? That is usually when I talk to my childminder about general things. In a morning you just need to know if the child has had breakfast, a disturbed night etc. I certainly don't have time to be messing about in a morning myself and drop my two off at their respective destinations quickly. Then when I collect I discuss after-school clubs, holidays, plans for the weekend etc.

I think you need to be clearer with the Mum, less of the hints more of a polite but direct request.

looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 12:18:50

Shosh - nightmare, I do get mindees who arrive with nappies that need changing, teeth need brushing etc. but I don't have to do all what you have to! I do know what you mean about lovely families though and not wanting to change for the world - this is EXACTLY how I feel about this family and it's because we get on so well that she chats like that and confides in me. I feel bad if I look busy sorting stuff out. Think the way to go is definitely as newsletter then hopefully all will be well again

looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 12:22:21

Thanks Bozza, pleased to see another non CM who understands what I mean Yes, that's is EXACTLY what I need at drop off time: if they slept funny, what food is in the bag, any changes to routine/milestones etc. it doesn't have to take long at all - when dad does it he gives me the facts I need then rushes off. I'd welcome a chit chat at pick up. If anything I usually get all parents rushing off as they want to get home but I always chat about the day as handing over (then shut up if they don't want to know as it's in the book wink).

mogs0 Fri 28-Sep-07 17:59:34

My drop offs start at 8am and I try to make sure that ds' packed lunch is done and that he is dressed and had breakfast before anyone else arrives. Does the Mum come inside when she drops off? Maybe if you just carry on doing the jobs you need to do while she's chatting she'll get the hint that you're busy.

My flat is on the 2nd floor so no-one ever wants to come inside in the mornings!!

looneytune Fri 28-Sep-07 18:32:01

In fairness the packed lunch was just yesterday and I shouldn't have mentioned it as that's not really the problem. I also TRY and make sure ds has had his breakfast but not always that easy. BUT....STILL...I will be having children dropped off at 8am soon and they will be having breakfast so what do I do then? I want this sorted now so that this doesn't happen when I have mindees I'm being paid to get to school in time.

As for carrying on my jobs, that's what I do - act rushed, hurry ds along, say we're going to have to go in a minute but then she carries on chatting grin

As for coming in, yes they do and because it's a tiny porch now, they come into the lounge. The thing is, I have food and bottles to get out of baby's bag and put in my fridge in the dining room plus put a jacket on baby if needed as quite often it's not on as they just come out of the car. So, arriving 5 mins before I'm supposed to leave and then chit chatting whilst i sort all that just always ends up with me being late. If they came at 8.15 and did a normal handover of info I should know then I'd be fine

MaureenMLove Fri 28-Sep-07 18:37:07

Frankly, anyone who has school aged children and says they are sooo organised every morning, and their children are all angels and do everything they did to do without being told 15 times, is a blardy liar imho! Its easy to be organised if you leave the house to go to work - you walk into your office and the kids aren't there! If your place of work is at home, like ours, you cannot expect to be ready every day.

MaureenMLove Fri 28-Sep-07 18:42:51

Thinking about it actually, I did have one that was perpetually late. I used to take the child off her and put her straight in my pram, which was already outside the front door! It didn't take long before she was calling me onthe way, to say she was going to be late, so she'd sit outside and wait for me to come back from school! Its not unreasonable to tell them that you have to get ds to nursery on time, afterall at some point it will be her lo that you need to get to school on time. BTW, in your op you said, it doesn't matter if ds is a bit late - it does! Stop being so nice! grin

Shoshable Fri 28-Sep-07 18:50:11

If it wasnt the child that I take to school, that is late, I would go and thay would have to wait.

I dont know thw answer to this one, if anyone does will you tell me pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

fireflyfairy2 Fri 28-Sep-07 18:51:04

When I drop ds off @ childminder I hand over the bag & coat & tell her he has been fed (he always has been as I have to be up earlier to get dd her breakfast before school)

I then tell her my pick up time (always different as I'm a student with varying hours)

When I pick ds up again she fills me in on what he & other mindees have been up to.

Some days when I pick ds up she is making her dh's dinner so I grab ds & go. Usually she will strap him into the car, kiss & wave.

But as I say, if she is making dinner/starting her kids homework, I say "I'll let you get on, no, don't come out!"

Mogs0 Don't take this the wrong way, but where I am, there are no registered childminders working from flats, as everyone seems to want their children to have a garden to run around in! How do you overcome this? and do you have buggies to carry up & down 2 flights of stairs?

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