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Settling sessions for a toddler - any advice?

(19 Posts)
NewYearBetterHealth Mon 07-Jan-19 19:35:14

My 2 yo is due to start at a childminder soon - does anyone have any advice on how settling in sessions should go? IE pop out for an hour first session, after maybe an hour. Second session stay for na hour then leave for 2.… Etc
Child has never been left before....

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jannier Mon 07-Jan-19 20:38:45

It depends on the childminder. I have always met child with parents 2 or 3 times before we get to a settling in. I then do a short visit around an hour with the potential to either cut short or extend, so parents stay in contact and close by. We may then have a longer session depending on age and needs of child and parents Ideally I like to know child is settled, how they are comforted and that if a baby that they will feed. So its child led. Most often its the parents that struggle, but I always say be upbeat and say a quick goodbye never just leave but don't hang around even if baby starts crying, I send updates and pics. I wouldn't let baby get too upset but sometimes it may take a little while to calm down. For those children the first vist may be 20 mins or so.

NewYearBetterHealth Mon 07-Jan-19 22:04:02

Thanks.
So we visited before Christmas, would you then expect not to leave DC at the next visit, then just drop off for one hour at the second?

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jannier Tue 08-Jan-19 07:47:38

Have you signed contracts? Why not ask the cm there plans, if that is what she suggests give it a try but say your happy to be called. It will also depend how long you have before starting work and she has to work within her current children. Some don't do settling.

NewYearBetterHealth Tue 08-Jan-19 12:12:50

I have 2 weeks before starting work...
The childminder says whatever I want!

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Looneytune253 Tue 08-Jan-19 12:39:10

I’m a childminder and tbh unless particularly clingy I find 2 year olds are usually ok. I’d defo recommend you go and meet cm and maybe arrange a couple of shorter days but the majority of settling happens once child is there regularly anyway

NewYearBetterHealth Tue 08-Jan-19 12:42:10

Oh that's good to know. Thanks.

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GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Tue 08-Jan-19 12:44:12

Yeah I agree, at two it’s just practising drop off and goodbyes, mostly for parents benefits. By two they settle really easily even if drop offs stay a bit ropey.

HSMMaCM Tue 08-Jan-19 18:17:28

I generally do 2 hours without parent, a morning without parent, an afternoon without parent, then start.

I find any time with the parent in the setting doesn't help the child settle and upsets the other children.

I am flexible on this if needed though.

Just be bright and breezy about leaving and your child should be fine. If you have a detailed routine, write it down or email it, so you don't prolong the agony of the drop off.

planespotting Thu 10-Jan-19 19:26:13

Oh OP my 2yo is starting next month, I am so worried 
I’m a childminder and tbh unless particularly clingy I find 2 year olds are usually ok.
@Looneytune253 oh dear, mine is always with me or dad, I am worried he wont settle

My childminder is lovely and we are doing a couple of 2 hour sessions for settling and we have been to her house together 3 times, one more to sign contract then settling

Let us know how it goes

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Thu 10-Jan-19 19:28:10

You’re a childminder and your child is going to a childminder? confused

planespotting Fri 11-Jan-19 07:33:56

No @GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat that was supposed to be bold!
it was what Looney said I wanted to ask her her about it
Like this
* I’m a childminder and tbh unless particularly clingy I find 2 year olds are usually ok.*

Because my one is starting now!

jannier Fri 11-Jan-19 08:07:24

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat - Would you query a childminder sending their child to nursery? Some children benefit from time away from parents to help them settle for school a childminder provides the same as any other type of setting and can do all the same things including large group socialisation so the type of setting doesn't matter its what suits the child.

Looneytune253 Fri 11-Jan-19 08:11:50

@planespotting 2 year olds are generally ok. I’ve never had one that didn’t settle well. They mostly cry on drop off then settle after a short while. I’m sure your childminder will keep you updated. I’m always honest but in a nice way.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Fri 11-Jan-19 08:12:14

Calm down jannier. I was clarifying the post because it didn’t make sense.

Looneytune253 Fri 11-Jan-19 08:13:53

@planespotting just because they have never been away doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be clingy either. Some children just breeze through. In fact I had one this week who’d never been left. She breezed in played happily all day but cried for 10 mins half an hour into her second day. She was fine the rest of the day.

planespotting Fri 11-Jan-19 08:35:35

My posts didn't make sense at all without the text in bold 
Sorry about that!
Thanks @Looneytune253 My CM seems lovely but my one is always with us (literally nobody else/ family far) we do socialise and all but I worry

Thank you smile

Butterflies1418 Fri 11-Jan-19 11:27:36

I'm in a similar situation, my 1yo has had 2 settling sessions of 30 mins, whilst he's not crying I can see from photos he's not happy. He cries when I leave, he cries when I collect & after final session started crying when we got back into car to do school run. For the next session I plan to leave him approx 2-3 hours for nap, lunch & play then collect. Any advice welcome, thank you!!

NewYearBetterHealth Fri 11-Jan-19 18:51:30

Well this week I stayed for one hour, left for one hour, came back and he was fine! Despite having never really been left much even with his dad!
Next week I plan to do a 2 hours session, then a morning. He's only going 2 times a week.
Planespotting hope it goes well for your LO

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