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Early for childminder

(17 Posts)
user1475938889 Mon 20-Mar-17 09:17:38

I would appreciate advice from those people who have used childminders for a while. Despite my best efforts to do everything to the letter - send the correct clothes, food, medicine, write in the home book etc I keep getting it wrong!! I have recently received quite a stern telling off is the only way it could be described for arriving 5 minutes early and apparently this had happened a number of times! I do not begrudge it being highlighted to me that I should not be 5 early but the manner in which it was done was quite harsh. Hence I drove away in floods of tears as feel very emotional about dropping little man in the first place. I'm sure you'll tell me YABU!!

NuffSaidSam Mon 20-Mar-17 09:54:57

You need to stick to the contracted times.

She clearly needs to be a bit more polite when telling you that.

If you're not happy with the way she speaks to you, you either need to raise that with her or look for a new childminder.

Snap8TheCat Mon 20-Mar-17 12:30:51

You can't turn up early. Nursery or school wouldn't let you in early either.

Maybe she had tried to be polite and hint before and you continued. Sometimes being blunt and telling someone is the only way.

Duckstar Mon 20-Mar-17 12:35:14

Why can't you pick him up 5 minutes early? That's ridiculous.

When DS was in nursery I picked him up when I wanted to (I would give an indication if he was going to be picked up really early - miss afternoon), but otherwise they expected parents to arrive anytime.

Sounds very strange. You need a good relationship with care providers. I'd find someone else.

NuffSaidSam Mon 20-Mar-17 12:43:18

Duck I assume she means dropping off five minutes early, not picking up!

user1475938889 Mon 20-Mar-17 13:34:11

I think you're right it was dropping off. I will in future just sit outside until 8 on the dot as I can't always account for traffic etc. I think in my 'new to childcare head' I thought early was a good thing but as someone else put it that's like your boss at work turning up on your doorstep early and a child minder has their own affairs to tend to. I completely get that, it was more the telling off I got which I also get that she might have been frustrated but I always think you should tackle something in the first instance before being angry. I am just learning the rules of childcare as its a whole new world to me!!

Maryann1975 Mon 20-Mar-17 14:54:24

I'm a cm. I'm afraid being 5 minutes early does start to grate after the first few times. It's really difficult to tackle with parents as 'it's only five minutes' but they add up and it's nealry two hours over the month. I have this situation at the moment. First family have changed hours to come in early and are picking up early to compensate. Second family are now taking advantage and coming earlier and earlier in the morning but not picking up earlier, when I mentioned it lightheartedly they commented that family one were already here so they couldn't see the problem but did go back to 'their time'. However they are slowly getting earlier and I'm struggling to know how to deal with it without looking petty over 10 minutes a day.

HSMMaCM Mon 20-Mar-17 16:32:42

I suspect she's probably hinted before and decided she needed to be blunt. Have a book or toy in the car and enjoy those last 5 minutes with your child. Don't worry, she'll be perfectly happy once you're arriving on time.

For example, I spend those last 5 minutes saying goodbye to my teenager as she leaves for college. If I'm answering the door, I miss the chance.

HSMMaCM Mon 20-Mar-17 16:34:06

MaryAnn if you've already told them, have you tried not answering the door. Or, if you're happy to do the earlier time, then add the extra 10 minutes to their next bill, for however many days.

Willow2017 Mon 20-Mar-17 17:27:48

Just ask them if they wish to change their contracted hours to 10 mins earlier drop off and 10 min earlier pick up otherwise bill them for the extra time each week. It's not fair and they are taking advantage of your good nature. Been their myself. You have set times they should stick to it or pay for it.

lovelynannytobe Mon 20-Mar-17 18:59:36

I'm sorry but it would annoy me if a parent turned up early. I am very direct and tell them first time they do it that these early drop offs need to be prearranged as it's eating into my morning routine. One parent turned up 15 minutes early when I was just getting out of the shower. I opened the door in my dressing gown with a towel on my head and asked them politely to wait in the car as I'm clearly not ready.

user1475938889 Mon 20-Mar-17 19:56:08

It completely makes!! It's just in every other walk of life early is a good thing and I find it difficult to get there exactly on the hour, not a minute before or after!! I will sit in the car from now on!! Consider me told!! Thanks for the advice.

jannier Tue 21-Mar-17 17:10:53

My mornings are very tight not only fitting into my families bathroom schedule as they have to be out of the house no later than 6.45am and my first arrives at 7am but then the setting up, risk assessing etc. I then have spread my drop offs so that I can get each child in settled talk to parents and get anything signed like medicine forms or pre existing injury before the next family arrive having someone come early unplanned is a nightmare. Its not always okay to just say ill start the contract earlier as for some that still means they come earlier than that and earlier. I don't think parents always think about what must be done before they arrive hopefully your problems will now be solved, I'm sure your cm would hate to think she had upset you

YourHandInMyHand Thu 23-Mar-17 08:44:45

I'm a childminder and yes this grates hugely. From my point of view, I work a 10 hour day on my own with no breaks, and 5 minutes before work at 7:55 I could be risk assessing the garden/ spending 5 precious minutes with MY child/ having a wee in peace/ putting things away/ setting an activity out/ getting a form ready for a parent to sign. A parent picking up early rarely affects me positively as I don't just have their child in there will still be others here, it's nice for the child and parent though. smile

It may be that your childminder has tried to hint before hand and you haven't realised.

Let your cm know you won't knock before 8 (or whatever your start time is) and ask her will it matter if you are late some mornings. Open up and have a good chat together about it. She may say "I leave for school at 8:20" for example and then you'll have a better idea. Clear the air together and show you are working with each other and talking about things.

I let my parents know not to knock early when they start, and explain they can arrive any time between their start time and X o clock, after which they may have to come find us at school or playgroup.

(PS I have a day off today, I'm not ignoring any charges).

armpitz Thu 23-Mar-17 08:54:37

It sounds as if OP is very reasonable and I wouldn't appreciate being 'told off' either.

I'd be looking elsewhere if spoken to like shit!

YourHandInMyHand Thu 23-Mar-17 10:31:43

Yes I agree it sounds like the childminder was rather brusque and perhaps even rude. There's ways of communicating with people and that's far from ideal.

Personally as a CM I make it clear from the off not to knock early, and if needed I remind parents politely and explain why.

OP you said "you keep getting it wrong" What else has happened?? Don't feell bad if you have forgotten things here and there, it's hard getting back to work and leaving baby in childcare, and is often a steep adjustment in remembering everything and getting used to a new routine.

LillyLollyLandy Thu 23-Mar-17 13:36:43

My childminder doesn't open the door if we knock early without warning - if it's an emergency she's always happy to help but we need to get in touch with her beforehand and explain the circumstances. I think it's perfectly reasonable of her, to be honest.

It takes a while to get used to the routine of it - if we are early we'll sit in the car and sing songs for a few minutes or just have a chat. I secretly quite like it as I've got a truly captive audience smile

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