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Grandparent childcare taking kids money help!

(17 Posts)
ElleyBear13 Wed 08-Mar-17 08:59:43

Hello I was wondering if I could have some advice or insight on what to do. Currently money is and always has been tight - I work four days a week and a close family member (grandparent) prior to birth offered to look after dd for one day a week for six hours. They said from the start they didn't want any money just time spent with dd - they are very good and dd adores said family member. However family member has been helping themselves to the odd £10/20 from dd piggy bank and last week helped themselves to a £50 giftcard that we've had since last August (birthday money going to buy a new summer coat) every time this has happened we've been promised they were just borrowing it but the money's never been replaced. I'm not sure how to handle this situation as it's started to be a regular occurrence and just looking for advice. Thank you x

MsJolly Wed 08-Mar-17 09:01:49

Have a conversation that it must stop-stealing from a baby is pretty low.

Hide all your cash:piggy banks etc

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Wed 08-Mar-17 09:07:43

Wow. Just wow. . Making alternative child care arrangements would be my only option. .

HecateAntaia Wed 08-Mar-17 09:12:45

id stop having them look after the child.

they clearly feel they are entitled to take money so perhaps be blunt.

if you wanted money i would have paid you but you insisted you didnt want money. but now youre stealing from your grandchild and me. sorry but i cant have you in my home. i cant trust that you wont steal.

you need to shock them by calling it what it is.

theft.

PoisonousSmurf Wed 08-Mar-17 09:24:39

Start paying her £20 for the day. And hide all money in the house! A childminder would cost you at least £30 for the day. So it would still be cheaper.

milkytash Wed 08-Mar-17 09:32:27

don't pay them anything! i would be ringing the police

JustSpeakSense Wed 08-Mar-17 10:30:59

Definitely lock away all money, piggy banks, gift cards, and valuables.

Start looking into alternative childcare.

This is theft, and although you could report it, as they are a family member doing you a favour I'm sure you won't want to do that.

Obviously this arrangement can't continue though.

7Coffees Wed 08-Mar-17 10:32:50

Seriously??

JoJoSM2 Wed 08-Mar-17 14:00:28

Stealing from own grandchildren??? I'd have a conversation. Ask them for the money back.

jannier Wed 08-Mar-17 14:36:39

I would wonder if they are in serious financial problems even if they appear to have money they may have run up a debt or been conned and too embarrassed to say anything. Id have the conversation about paying something for care (and hide the money) if they wont take it maybe get more serious - could memory problems be an issue?

Bluntness100 Wed 08-Mar-17 14:40:03

Put all money etc away when they come so there is nothing to steal. However I agree with the others, stealing from your own grandkid, Jesus.thats just awful,

EsmeeMerlin Wed 08-Mar-17 14:42:38

That is disgusting. To steal is one thing but from your granddaughter, wow

I would be stopping them looking after your dd and tell them you expect to see the money returned.

xStefx Wed 08-Mar-17 14:45:16

Move the piggy bank , I understand why you don't want to upset your grandparent but seriously why have you left it there with them when you know they are taking from it.

MyschoolMyrules Thu 09-Mar-17 14:16:41

Just give them money. They are probably spending the money on your child anyway. I can't believe you are giving them nothing.

wizzywig Mon 13-Mar-17 19:57:29

Oh dear thats awful! Thats not on.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 14-Mar-17 07:30:03

Your parent or inlaws? Either way you both need to talk to them

Stealing is wrong and even worse off fsmily /gc

Maybe they do have financial worries but no need to take off you /your dc

Be blunt and say you can't use them as can't trust them and pay for childcare

Zebrasinpyjamas Tue 14-Mar-17 07:36:03

If you specifically asked for the gift card back with a deadline what would they do? Eg 'I saw you took/borrowed the gift card, I'm planning on using it next weekend can you bring me the cash next [Tuesday] when you look after dc'. A direct but non confrontation way perhaps?
You can ignore it but I suspect your frustration levels will grow each time and ultimately damage your relationship long term over 'minor' amounts. (Not minor to you though). Its the breach of trust that's the real issue imo.

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