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Help! In need of a parent's point of view about my Nanny.job

(19 Posts)
Namaryel Thu 23-Feb-17 00:23:05

I started a job last September 2016. Lovely family and one 10 month boy.
Because of travelling circumstances we discussed contract and duties over emails.
Dad travels a lot for work and at the beginning I used to get a day off or two now and then as the Baby went with him sometimes/granmother is in Town... etc
First child and also first Nanny experience so things were a bit chaotic at the beginning.
I do earn 12 pounds an hour (net), work Mon to Fri from 9 till 6.30, plus we agreed that the extra hours would be given off.
I have been working a few months now and I find it much more demanding than it was at the beginning.
I do the grocery shopping (go to the market for veggies/ tesco /sainsburys and boots)
do a morning activity wiyh the kid, cooking ( added dificulty of no microwave so more to clean and more time.spent in the kitchen), laundry, toys, playtime, pick up dry cleaning when needed, and of course cleaning up after myself and the baby which takes a bit as I try and cook every day for her.
I buy nappies, powder milk, wipes, and basically stock all baby stuff.
lately I find myself never able to finish on time ( traffic, work, meetings, delays on flights. ..) things keep.coming up but because I could see how stressed they were I assumed it was a phase and kept being flexible. Now its a routine and I do at least +10 hours every week.
find myself exhausted as its always a last minute thing and have to rush to do the bathtime. . tidy up everything and sometimes even improve a last minute dinner.
we also just move to a new house, which I also helped packing and organising as the mum also works very hard and she's most of the time alone.
They made clear that they can't afford to.pay my salary+ taxes+ extra hours with the new house and all the expenses and they give me days off...but I just feel I do nothing but work and like the time I spend there isn't valued enough.
They are great people and I absolutely adore the baby.. we bonded deeply and I also moved to the area to be closer to them.
I am overreacting? is it normal to do like 12 hours extra and get a day off the next day? is there any other arrangements you make with your nanny I can ask for? (maybe include my food on the weekly shopping/gym membership/transport...)
Maybe ask for a raise in a few months time..?
I am an Early years teacher, worked on nurseries, speak 2 languages, OFSTED registered, used to worked as an entertainer, I am a great cook, I drive and I got 10 years of experience with children plus great references and TEFL.

I really need another point of view..or other people's experiences!

thank you so much!

Cindy34 Thu 23-Feb-17 06:54:57

The duties sound reasonable. You mention cooking, is that just for you and the child?

The issue I see is the working hours, the contracted hours you are finding do not match with reality. So I would look at having the contracted hours changed, so there is far less overtime being involved.

Long days are part of being a nanny but you need a life of your own, so you need to know when you are working and be able to plan around that. You say the job is Mon-Fri but also say that you only get one day off sometimes... so when you work extra on say a Saturday, how is that compensated?

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 23-Feb-17 07:39:40

Duties sound normal for a nanny

Hours are nice for a nanny 9.5 a day. Rare tbh but if doing extra 10 a week that's taken it to 11.5hrs a day. Again still normal for nannies

Saying that it's not normal to be late every day and not be paid for it. Overtime should be in contract - did you agree to time off in lieu? I prefer money

Yes they should pay for your food/meals. Gym membership no unless taking their child to a specific class or swimming lesson and transport costs during working hours should be covered by them

You said you discussed this by email. Do you have a signed contract

You need to sit down with them and have a review and say terms have changed since having this job

And I wouldn't be happy with them saying we have moved and now can't afford to pay you

Personally think they are taking the piss

Namaryel Thu 23-Feb-17 12:46:06

Well usually I get a day off during the week after I have done all the hours. ( last week I had Friday off)...its Wednesday and I already did 10 extra hours.

I sat down with them and I said that I wad ok with the days/hours off instead of money because I didn't expect them to be more than +5 a week. .if there was any.
I also proposed to change my work hours and finish at 7..so they didn't have to rush home..but again they said it was just a busy month and it wasn't needed.
I have been logging my hours and tbh it's even getting worse, I started going to my gym at 6 am so I could get something done.
I just want to know if there is any offer I could bring to the table before we all sit down. maybe ask for a contract review after 6 month working for them? ask for a weekly raise for all the hours and my flexibility? ( instead of earning 570..earn 600 a week?)
If we don't get to any agreement would you consider all that a deal breaker?

thanks for your messages! and yes..its all normal nanny duties but I do feel most of thr time that I am running the house as there's nothing done on the weekends and I do quite a lot of shopping, laundry and few bits of cleaning ;)

TheOnlyColditz Thu 23-Feb-17 12:50:57

Personally I think they are taking the piss. They can pay you and they WILL pay you, or you can start looking for another job. The harsh reality of the situation is this - THEY are stuck with their house and baby, YOU are actually a free agent who works for MONEY. Not time off, not goodwill, not love. MONEY.

LightTripper Thu 23-Feb-17 14:39:30

It definitely should be your choice (a) whether you do the extra hours and (b) if you do them, whether you get recompensed financially or in time-in-lieu. I've done it both ways: my previous nanny usually preferred time-in-lieu (but also, we always agreed when she would take it - usually she tacked it onto holidays so she could go away for longer or used it for long weekends to go and see her parents without eating into her holiday allowance - it wasn't just at random). My view is that if I am deciding when the extra hours are needed, then my nanny should decide when the time-in-lieu is to be taken (as long as I can accommodate, which I nearly always can). My current nanny is saving up to go travelling so she prefers to get paid for any extra hours.

The other important thing is that it sounds like you never know when it is going to happen so you can't plan? They should be giving you notice of when they need you to stay late, otherwise you are kind of "held hostage" because you clearly cannot leave the baby home alone. It's much more stressful staying late when you are constantly cancelling plans (or not making them in the first place), or even worse waiting for the key in the door with no idea when they will be home.

The duties sound normal-ish, though I agree not having a microwave makes things a bit trickier. Do you need to cook from scratch each day? Would it make your life better if they got a small microwave so you could batch cook, freeze and defrost, so you only have to cook e.g. once a week? I also would have thought that picking up dry cleaning is not a normal part of nanny duties, and neither is doing the grocery shop if it's for the whole family rather than just a few extra bits for the baby. Again, a lot depends on the baby - if they take long naps perhaps you can unpack the grocery shop while they sleep and still get a decent break yourself. But if you find you are never getting a break then clear that is not OK (and in any case your duties should have been clearly spelled out in your contract).

I would definitely ask for a meeting with them, and give them a basic idea of what it is about (i.e. that you are not happy with the amount of and/or unpredictable nature of the hours and want to explore other ways to manage this). Then I'd go to that meeting with a summary of the hours you have been doing "extra", and how they could make this easier/better for you (e.g. would it be better if they paid you for them instead of giving you time off? Or if you had more choice over when the time off is taken? Or if you had more notice?) And then the same in terms of tasks - if you are finding it too much, would getting a microwave help? Or if they picked up their own dry cleaning?

Obviously there is a risk that they take offence (or decide they can't afford to pay you for the extra hours), but it sounds like this is really upsetting you and if they decide to get the hump you would probably be better finding a new place that fits you better? And hopefully they will be prepared to make some practical compromises so you can find a working pattern that works for all of you. Fundamentally, they need to pay you for the work you do - if they can't afford it that is their problem, they shouldn't make it yours.

JaxingJump Thu 23-Feb-17 14:43:09

Duties sound fine but you need to start/finish on time and as agreed. Within 5mins of that time.

Namaryel Thu 23-Feb-17 15:15:31

Thank you smile thing is..I do need the money atm as I am helping my family sending a part of my salary every month ( my granny needs better care so I pay a physiotherapist to go to the house and treat her).
When I had the chat (2 weeks ago) I explained all that to them. I try to keep track of everything in the daily journal and they said because there was a big amount of hours they want it to give me time off.
before sitting down with them again and go through the same problems I rather come up with a plan.
Not very sure how to do it..as I am fond of them as well.
Maybe I am just a softie or being silly but tbh I think they have too much on their plate.

JoJoSM2 Thu 23-Feb-17 15:51:46

I think your duties are fine and your wage very generous at £12 nett p/h.

I can see that the unpredictability of the hours and last minute overtime work doesn't work for you. You need to decide what you want - change your contracted hours, not do additional hours at short notice or carry on doing what you're doing but get paid more? Instead of cash, you can ask for food, transport but personally I'd find that it could confuse the situation even more.

wizzywig Thu 23-Feb-17 20:44:25

I dont get my nanny to do my housework, just what relates to the kids. Was the family food shop, running their errands in yr contract?

Millybingbong Thu 23-Feb-17 20:53:20

Some nannies are fine with that random starts or finishes and time off at other times. Ie my nanny. The duties look fine to me too

Not to say you are wrong if you don't like it, just that you are in the realms of normal

Namaryel Thu 23-Feb-17 23:22:44

I do mostly for the baby. They are never home so they don't buy food.
Well 12 p/h is a very nice rate but I do consider myself highly qualified too.
I also try to be as flexible as I can and be there for them and I think I earn every penny.
That said there is been a constant late arriving of the parents.. always last minute from.the last few months.
It's quite exhausting pulling up extra hours without any warning and rushing up to put the baby to bed on time.
I don't get to decide or say no to do extra hours as they aren't there, or decide my days.off or if I want the money instead.
But on the other hand I am happy working for them as there's a lot of communication and the baby is simply adorable.
But thank you for the insight..I will wait till the month is over and try to review the contract with them so I can get the babysitting paid at least.

JoJoSM2 Thu 23-Feb-17 23:25:54

Just work out what it is you want to achieve so you can negotiate as opposed to just having a whinge.

Fairylane Thu 23-Feb-17 23:51:08

I think they need to pay you for your extra time and give you more notice when you are working additional hours. This is do-able for them if they prioritise it.

I would NEVER treat my nanny like this and I also have limited income and unpredictable work hours. Her wellbeing is a priority to me and I would never take her for granted.

Nanny hours are long and it's a tiring job. That is why you need to be paid for your time and know what time you are finishing.

Stick to your guns. You need to look after yourself and your own family flowers

JellyTipisthebest Fri 24-Feb-17 03:45:23

The are taking advantage because they know they are giving you time off once they have been late a few days they might as well be late a few more to make the day off worth while.

Millybingbong Fri 24-Feb-17 08:42:37

I don't understand what you mean about rushing get to get the baby to bed. Here our babies go to bed at 6. So at half 5 whoever it is starts brushing teeth etc.

When the parent arrives they take over from whatever point the nanny is at.

eurycantha Sat 25-Feb-17 14:20:39

I think milly and djelly have actually hit the problem on the head,they raised the two points I also wondered about.I do not often do days off in lieu,I prefer to add up baby sitting,as some parents will just come home late to make the hours up to a day off .I work twelve hours a day and your duties do appear to be normal nanny duties ,we do do work hard.Perhaps if the shopping is and issue (most nannies would not do the food shop apart from picking up the odd item)Maybe you could get mum to do a food delivery each week.the worst things parents do is come home late with little warning ,how late are they actually coming home ,do they phone you in advance ,

unfortunateevents Sat 25-Feb-17 22:59:31

Duties appear pretty normal to me too. However, if you don't want to do all the extra hours and feel they are being dropped on you with no notice constantly you need to text the parents in the morning and let them know that that evening you need to leave on time as you have a date, class, doctor's appointment etc. Doesn't matter if you don't but it should hopefully prevent them taking the p^&*! Lots of working parents are occasionally late home but it sounds as if this is almost an everyday situation.

Audreyhelp Wed 01-Mar-17 00:25:27

I think you are a bit unclear on what you want. It seems like you would be happier if they paid more .
Just make yourself unavailable if you don't want to work a Saturday.

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