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WWYD - child says she doesn't like nanny

(16 Posts)
Owly2017 Mon 13-Feb-17 22:05:31

My almost six year old has told me several times that she doesn't like our nanny. Today she said it's because our nanny never smiles (to be fair, she is a rather grumpy person). My daughter then told me that she didn't make it to the loo in time this afternoon and that our nanny called her a baby, which I think was unnecessary. It obviously bothered my daughter, who very rarely has "accidents". I'm trying to decide whether to say something or just let this pass since we will not need her anymore after the school year ends...

theothercatpurred Mon 13-Feb-17 22:15:00

I would say something. The end if the school year is an age away if you're a child.

Cakingbad Mon 13-Feb-17 22:17:27

I would listen to your DD and replace your nanny if necessary. She sounds a bit unkind.

Owly2017 Mon 13-Feb-17 22:34:09

Thank you, I agree completely (but wanted a second opinion because I don't like her very much but do still try to be objective).

Yukbuck Mon 13-Feb-17 22:38:28

Hi op, why are you leaving someone take care of your daughter if you don't like her very much? I'd never leave my child with someone I didn't like very much.

mrshotrod Mon 13-Feb-17 22:41:07

Tricky. Is she a nanny as in lives with you? or just comes to the house?
I had to change childminders last year, for various reasons. It was a really hard thing to do, and I agonised over it for weeks, but it worked out really well in the end, and I'm glad I did it. I felt terrible taking work away from the old childminder, but I think she understood. We still say Hi.
It can be hard to make a decision based purely on the reports from your own child. Mine could certainly be drama queens when they were tired, but if she isn't happy, and neither of you, then a change may have to be made.
Good luck with it.

Blingygolightly Mon 13-Feb-17 22:41:58

You don't like her. Your dd doesn't like her. Yet you're still going to inflict her on your child for another 5 months? Why?

Owly2017 Mon 13-Feb-17 22:43:00

My younger daughter likes her very much and until recently my older daughter said she preferred our previous nanny (who moved away), but didn't complain about her. I've always thought she was good with the children, but less so with me (which is why I don't like her very much). Needless to say, if there's an issue with either of my children that is a different story.

Blingygolightly Mon 13-Feb-17 22:51:36

I would talk to the nanny about the chemistry with your dcs. Her take on it and how she thinks it's going. Then I would tell her that they are still struggling with transition from old nanny and so you think she needs to be (softer/more gentle/more playful - you need to identify this before you have the conversation) and is this something she can do?

Does she know her days are numbered?

From experience, 5 months with a nanny that they don't get on with, can have potential impact for a lot longer than 5 months so you need to act quickly and in a considered way.

Gunpowder Mon 13-Feb-17 23:04:45

So tricky. I know someone whose elder DS said the same thing. They put in a nanny cam (don't know how you would feel about this). They sacked the nanny once they had viewed the first day's footage. I think trust your gut and investigate further.

bummymummy77 Mon 13-Feb-17 23:09:30

If you believe she called her a baby for having an accident you should let her go.

And listen to your child, I had childminders that were abusive and barely said a word to my father. It made me so unbelievably miserable. Not saying she's abusing them (although personally I think calling a child a baby for having a toilet accident is emotional abuse) but please, don't leave your child with someone neither of you like.

wobblywonderwoman Mon 13-Feb-17 23:27:59

I think go with your gut. If she rarely had accidents then the nanny should praise her and say 'uh oh, this is only a little accident and I am so proud of you as you are trying your best' (or whatever)

Your little girl is only six. She is the grown up and there might be more to it.

Blondeshavemorefun Mon 13-Feb-17 23:35:52

How lin has nanny been there?

Some older children say they dislike nanny Hoping mummy will look after then

Tho if your nanny called your 6yr a baby for having an accident then this isn't on and you need to discuss with nanny asap

But if you don't actually like the nanny why on earth did you employ her?

Agree 5mths is a long time so need to review childcare

JoJoSM2 Mon 13-Feb-17 23:46:01

So one of your daughters likes her and the other is in a huff after she got called a baby... As you said, she had never complained previously. To me it looks likely that your daughter felt embarrassed about not making it to the loo and the nanny made an innocent joke about it which your daughter has been overthinking because of her embarrassment. I think it would be extremely unfair on the nanny to be sacked just like that for no actual reason. If you feel that She's not a good fit,, then don't extend the contract but I can't see that you've got any ground for sacking her.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 14-Feb-17 06:09:26

Op did say her eldest has said a couple of times she didn't like nanny

Not just after after the wee accident

Still don't get why you would employe someone you don't like op? To look after your most precious irreplaceable children sad

katieks Tue 14-Feb-17 21:08:33

Ladies, I wouldn't be too harsh on OP. When you're working and desperate for childcare and have deadlines and unsupportive employers, no relatives to fall back on and someone ticks most of the boxes, you allow some scope for things to improve.

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