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Feel like I'm being taken advantage of

(14 Posts)
FrutiFlutey Thu 02-Feb-17 10:36:27

I work looking after a 19 month old boy! I'm a nanny

The family I work for also have the sister of the dad living here with her 10 month old.

The mum and dad of the boy I look after leave 7:30am return 5pm!

During the day it's me and the sister (B)

And she's always leaving her 10 month old with me! No extra money

It's gone from "I'm just using the toilet" to "I'm cleaning" and yesterday because they had guests coming she left me with her baby and my charge for 10 hours while she cleaned and cooked! No extra money.

Now I'm not a very forward person! And I'm feeling very upset about this.
When the father is home on Fridays and she leaves the baby with me, he doesn't seem fussed, so now I'm thinking I've missed something or I'm just being taken advantage of!

2 kids under 2 and a 5 year old yesterday in a small room for 10 hours left me exhausted and extremely fed up.

Now I'm downstairs with my charge, she has come in and handed her baby to me and gone to cook.

How do I handle this appropriately?

Ilovecaindingle Thu 02-Feb-17 10:39:02

Could you approach the 'employer' of the house and ask if your contract is being amended to cover the 2 children now?

FrutiFlutey Thu 02-Feb-17 10:41:34

Ilove - I could do, I'm just fearful of causing bad feelings as I spend all day in the house with the woman

drinkyourmilk Thu 02-Feb-17 10:42:27

I think you've written about this situation before?
Are you expected to stay in all day with your charge? Because if not I'd be out and not giving the aunt a chance to dump her baby with you!
All you can do is ask for a review and ask your employers straight if they consider it within your remit to care for their niece/nephew.
If they are happy with this or want you to help aunt out then you need to decide if you want more money for this.
I've learnt in nannying that you have to be bold and look out for yourself! Even the loveliest employer cannot read your mind and tell if you are unhappy.

agapanthii Thu 02-Feb-17 10:44:36

Firstly - talk to your employers. I assume you have a contract which states the names of the children you are employed to care for. On a more immediate practical level, today, get out of the house. If you don't feel you can have a conversation with her, simply hand the 10 month old back to her or put it down for a nap and announce - we are going out now- bye! ( Is the five year old your charge too? Confused about that. Surely a five year old should be in school?)

pinkblink Thu 02-Feb-17 10:51:28

Start taking the baby you are paid for out, even if it's just a walk or a cafe for a drink, then they should pick up on the fact you're not watching the other baby, if they mention it just ask when they will have time to amend your contract to cover both and discuss the extra pay

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 02-Feb-17 15:39:36

Go out with your charge

When aunt asks you to have her child. Say sorry no we have plans and going out soon

You do need to talk to employer and say aunt keeps dumping baby on you

CheerfulYank Thu 02-Feb-17 19:40:08

Yes I'd definitely leave with the baby smile I'd be fine looking after another but you've got to be paid extra or it's not fair at all.

NuffSaidSam Fri 03-Feb-17 23:38:28

The problem is that nannies are paid per family/per job, not per child. Even if you raise it with them if they are paying market rates for a nanny, they may not feel obliged to increase pay.

The problem is that you're doing a job that you didn't agree to initially/that isn't in your contract. That's not on and you need to talk to them about that. But go in knowing what you want i.e. if they don't want to increase pay are you happy to have both children for the money you're currently earning. If not, you may need to start looking for another job.

Callaird Sat 04-Feb-17 12:27:02

I disagree NuffSaidSam (not something I ever thought I'd say!) I'd say this would be a nanny share, working for two families, even if they are living in the same house. Nanny shares get more money.

However, I'm not sure how I'd bring this up. Do you have nanny insurance? (If not, you should get some!) you could say that your insurance does not cover another child, if something happened to your charge while you were looking after the cousin, you would not be covered.

I would speak to your MB and say that the cousin being so much younger, takes a lot of your time away from her child and you don't think it's fair as they are the ones paying you. I would also say that it's making it difficult to make plans and take him to age appropriate classes for him to learn and socialise. I would also put it to her that as a nanny share, she would be paying you less per hour as her sister/in law would pay you a share too. Although you would be getting a bit extra per hour when you had two.

ADishBestEatenCold Sat 04-Feb-17 14:40:25

I don't understand. Why are you confined to a small room? Are you not allowed to make use of other rooms, the garden, go to parks, etc?

In any case, I wouldn't faff about. Do as others have suggested and ask if they would like to change your contract and pay to a Nanny-share. Good point about checking your insurance. If it doesn't currently cover a Nanny-share, then that would give you an ideal opportunity to bring it up.

Meantime, yes, go out with your charge.

SouthPole Sat 04-Feb-17 20:26:10

Are you in England OP?

WitchesCauldron Sun 05-Feb-17 10:01:15

Just echoing what other posters said. You are being taken advantage of. There is no easy way of approaching this- you need to speak to your employer about this. Couch in terms of insurance, or change in contract, but you do need to raise it. I get that you're not very assertive, but you will feel much better about it. At the moment you are just bottling it up and making yourself unhappy. You will end up leaving under a cloud. Just grit your teeth and raise it. Nannies are an important part of a family, they wont want to lose you. Good luck !

PoisonousSmurf Wed 08-Feb-17 12:38:10

Sounds like it's worse than being in prison! How come you can't go out for the day? Who the F* spends all day cooking and cleaning?

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