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Need advice about concerns with our childminder

(8 Posts)
EdwardGray Mon 30-Jan-17 17:22:26

Any advice would be great:

For a number of years our boys were childminded by a fantastic CM with her daughter as an assistant. They've become close friends and the kids love them. Last year, our CM moved away from the local area, and our contract moved to the daughter (she is qualified cm).

Boys get on with her great, and she's very flexible with a hectic schedule, with pickups, etc.

However, we're now growing increasingly concerned about the level of care. They kids seem to be going out less and less, with the TV being turned on a whole lot more.

A couple of weeks ago she informed us the youngest (18 months old) potentially could have swalloed a penny earlier in the day - he'd been playing with one in the back of the car, and she couldn't find it - but seemed completely non perplexed that this had happened.

Today, the youngest fell over and split his lip open (on the inside). We took one look and immediately took him to A&Eto get a stitch. He'd done this about 2 hours earlier and hadn't even given him calpol to help with the pain.

I've started to look for other childcare, but a, struggling to find anyone in the area who can accommodate both boys on our work schedules. We just feel completely stuck as to what to do now

selly24 Mon 30-Jan-17 18:30:29

Why on earth would she let a young child play with a penny? If she noticed it only while driving (eg child found it on the seat of the car - (hey, with the best, most careful will in the world- it happens!) Why didn't she pull over immediately (as soon as safe to do so) and confiscate it.
Children get into scrapes, it happens re the lip. It is her attitude and questionable care would terrify/annoy me more.

It has been v grey miserable and cold over the last few weeks. When the weather was better did she take the boys out and about more..? Occasionally putting TV on is fine imho, but if regular and in an unplanned default way, it is nitbwhatvI would expect for professional childcare. Perhaps the cm lacks ideas for indoor play.

Would suggest you call a meeting with her to discuss your concerns re safety and maybe suggest some blogs/websites/books with details of the kinds of things you would like your boys to do.

It is winter: people go into hibernation mode, get lazy. this by no means excuses her lax attitude and you should call her out on it, but maybe the relationship just needs a quick jump start. If things dont change quickly I would call it quits.

Could a nanny share work?

oleoleoleole Mon 30-Jan-17 18:37:20

Accidents happen but her responses to,both are inadequate. Is she now a qualified CM?

As PP said you need to ask to meet with her separately and voice your concerns.

smearedinfood Tue 31-Jan-17 14:25:13

Tough one as obviously your gut decision is to pull them out, is nanny an option?

Do you get run downs on what they did with their day - how is she generally with the communication? Is nursery an option?

Doglikeafox Tue 31-Jan-17 16:35:19

Hi OP, Sorry to hear you're having such a bad time at the moment sad
It seems like you were very happy with CM until recently, and that things have gone downhill recently? Only you will know if you have enough trust and faith left in CM to continue the way things are, or whether you need to look elsewhere.
If you do still want to keep DC with the CM, then you need to have a really frank discussion with her. First off, I'd try and establish if she was joking when she said that your little one could have swallowed the penny. If she was not, then I'd make sure that she agreed that she would have to be far more careful in future when it comes to giving a baby small items and I would also ask that in future, if she has any doubts over whether your little one has swallowed something, she lets you know immediately so you can seek medical attention.
The second part is slightly more tricky, as childminders aren't actually allowed to give children medication without prior consent from the parent for that specific circumstance and date and time, so she couldn't have given him calpol. What she should have asked herself is 1) does he need medical attention? 2) is he in enough pain that I need to call his mum so she can medicate and 3) is he actually OK, and will be fine until pick up time?
Obviously you and CM disagreed on all three points, so you need to tell
her that in future, if she has any doubts, you would rather she contact you so you can decide how to proceed.
I had a little one fall over and cut her bottom lip on a stick the other day. It bled quite a bit, but quickly stopped and the child seemed fine. I cleaned the wound, gave her an ice lolly, documented the incident and then decided that as the child did not seem to be in pain (she is nearly 3, so would have told me) and did not require medical attention, I would wait until pick up time to tell mum.
In terms of her not taking the boys out.. well that again is something you need to raise with her. Mention that the boys seem to have been watching a lot of TV lately, and is this something she would mind minimising? If not, then it is up to you how to proceed.
As CMs, we have to make a judgement call on what to do each and every day and sometimes it is difficult to not only strike the right balance of everything, but also to display this to the parents and also, lets be honest, if the weather is shit sometimes we don't want to go outside, or look after cold, whingey children when we are cold and feel like whinging ourselves! If you drop off at 8am and the children are watching tv, and pick up at 6pm and the kids are watching tv again, you may think that your child has spent the majority of the day watching tv when in reality, they could have been out busy all day.

CheerfulYank Tue 31-Jan-17 20:12:00

I am a CM and it is POSSIBLE someone could swallow a coin on my watch I suppose, but I would be horribly apologetic and much more careful after. Injuries happen of course but I always photo them and text the parents if they're more than a tiny scrape or bump.

It doesn't sound great to be honest. I'm sorry.

OlennasWimple Tue 31-Jan-17 20:14:28

I'd have a frank conversation with her (including making sure that the incidents were logged in her accident book) but also start looking around for alternative arrangements so you know what your options are if necessary

Danglybits Tue 31-Jan-17 20:16:40

You've got to make alternative arrangements. Her radar isn't switched on. Children do have accidents (split lip) but there's no excuse for swallowing a coin or for lots of telly.

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