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AIBU to feel put out?(8 Posts)
Be kind, new to this MN lark. I'm a Nanny, many years experience in childcare. .Been growing increasingly disillusioned with job and want to gain some opinion on course of action. Family have one child and one on way . I am getting the hump with being treated like a skivvy, not fussy and am happy to clear up and muck in with jobs but, what I'm getting the hump with is how slovenly this family are. I'm not fussy and will happily do most things, but when I turn up most mornings, the detritus from the previous nights dinner is all over the kitchen, plates everywhere, crap everywhere. I'm not a servant. I am increasingly feeling like a domestic slave, being asked to do stuff not in my contract-up until now, I have complied and silently seethed.Is it too much to put your plate in the dishwasher? Have misgivings about behavioural approach to child also-I'm strict. They're not. At weekends everything goes out of the window. Should I jump ship? The pay isn't great either.
I'd find another job with a less selfish and chaotic family.
Thanks for your responses, I feel bad given that new baby is expected v soon, but guess timing isn't my problem. I'm glad to have some other perspectives, I thought I was being a diva !
>when I turn up most mornings, the detritus from the previous nights dinner is all over the kitchen, plates everywhere, crap everywhere.
That is fairly common. Some families are better than others and it can vary massively from day to day... I can arrive at work to find the dishwasher on.
>I'm not a servant. I am increasingly feeling like a domestic slave, being asked to do stuff not in my contract-up until now,
So you need to sit down with them and come up with a contract revisions sheet. The role changes when a new baby is on the way, as mum may be very tired and once baby is born that can remain the situation for quite a while. So talk to them about it and come up with revisions to the contract so you all know what things are within scope of your job role.
>Have misgivings about behavioural approach to child also-I'm strict.
Children will usually happily adapt to having different people care for them with different rules... though you are working in their home so you should be following their parenting style to a certain degree. View it as a partnership, if you are on completely different wavelengths, then it won't work out.
What is happening long term? New baby is coming... is mum going to be going back to work when baby is 3-4 months, or will baby be 9-12 months? How is the job market in your area... are there other jobs, are they really any better? Have you been in this job several years and thus now see there being an opportunity to go to a higher paying, more responsibility job, rather than staying and working alongside mum whilst she is on maternity leave?
You make good points Nannynick, and as I said, I don't mind mucking in, but I actually think its just laziness on their parts, nothing to do with advanced pregnancy ! In terms of behaviour, they have made it clear they like me being strict- it just seems they don't want to carry it through when I'm not there. I'm not looking elsewhere for more money, as there's no shortage of jobs in my area, I just resent being treated as a servant, by parents who delegate out what they cant be bothered to do.
Have you tried actually talking to them about this stuff?
Are the family directly asking you to undertake the domestic tasks, or are you assuming/feeling that you need to do these? Could you approach it with the family on the basis that you are finding it difficult to dedicate the time you need to your charge because of the housework?
In my experience, a lot of families hiring a nanny lead fairly hectic lives, with often one or both of the parents working late or working from home after the nanny has left for the evening. It's not an excuse if things need to be more orderly, but it might not be laziness on their part.
On the discipline front, they perhaps like that you bring a different perspective but wouldn't necessarily want to follow your approach themselves. Could you ask them for a catch-up on how things are going generally and see if there are any areas you could together?
Mismatched expectations are always tricky to deal with so your choices are to raise this with the family or to see if there is another family who would be a better fit for you.
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