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Nanny with baby

(5 Posts)
Apachepony Fri 13-Jan-17 15:23:38

Hi, I'm thinking of hiring a nanny who would have her own 5 month old at time of starting work. I will have a 9 month old and just turned 4 year old (in nursery for 4 hours a day, we're not in uk, so may not be going to school for 18 months) and although she sounds good (and we would struggle to afford an appropriately qualified nanny without own child), I'm not sure it will work well. Will she bond with my children when she has such a young baby? Will 2 babies be too much with a lively 4 year old - will the 4yo get neglected? We have a place for the baby in the nursery where the 4yo goes part-time but I don't really like crèches for babies - but its hard to get into so if the nwoc doesn't work out we will have lost our place! Any thoughts?

Anotherdayanotherdollar Fri 13-Jan-17 16:54:27

I have no experience of this but personally I wouldn't do it. 4 months is very young. 9 months is very young to not "be the baby". I would worry that her own child would take up too much time, at the expense of your children. I have nothing against the concept of nwoc, but would prefer if the child was nearer to the age of your elder child. Failing that, i would choose a less highly qualified but experienced person. I an ideal world! I know that it's not always an option!

Forresitters1 Fri 13-Jan-17 18:38:57

I've previously been a NWOC. I also had a nanny share role with 2 families living on the same road. Family 1 had an 8mth old and 6yr old and Family 2 had a 6mth old and a 2yr old!
This position in particular worked really really well because the family were already friends so the children knew each other. The babies were in good routines although the 8mth old had separation anxiety but I managed to comfort her and also reassure her mum who was also very worried.

I personally think 4mths old is quite young but if she is a professional nanny and takes her job seriously then it can definitely work!
Having two babies although different in age can be very similar to having twins and as long as a good routine is established it can work out really well!
Lots of people always say they think nannies would put their own child first when working as a NWOC but from my own experience and through others whom I know personally this isn't the case. There are many nannies out there who put their charges first or try and give as equal attention as possible.

You need to have a few trial days - your children need to get to know the nanny without you there and without her own child then another day with her child there and you can see how things have gone.

If you agree on a suitable routine and discipline etc. then I can't see why this role wouldn't work out.
Have you checked her references etc?

Apachepony Fri 13-Jan-17 19:21:09

Thanks for your replies. Her child will be 5 months old, not 4 months (I have a 4 year old, maybe causing confusion!). I haven't checked her references yet - still at an early stage in the process. Her child will be minded 2 days a week, so it'll be 2/3 days nwoc, and 2 days without child - don't know if this changes things?

Captainj1 Sat 14-Jan-17 20:09:12

Sounds quite similar to what I have. I have a 6yo DS and a now 20 month old DD. Nanny has a DD 6 months older than mine. She started when my DD was born and brings her DD with her on 2 of the 4 days she works. It generally works very well. Was v hard work for her in the early days but she got my DD and hers into a good routine. Now they are older they play together and are easier in many ways. My DS has had to play a bit second fiddle sometimes but I put my DD in nursery a couple of afternoons a week so that Nanny has some 1:1 time with DS after school run. It works well as long as none of the kids are really ill. I have in the contract that she can bring her DD and I expect her to work if any of the kids have D&V, chicken pox, basically common childhood illnesses.

So it can work, you need to be clear in the contract how you will deal with illness, equipment (e.g. Double buggy, travel cot, highchair) and food (who will provide food for her child).

If my nanny has another child in the future I would probably be a bit more cautious. I'd try it and see but I think it works well now because my DD and hers are close in age. If she had another baby when our DDs are (say) 5 I would have doubts because I can see there are times that she has to work to the youngest child (e.g. Going to softplay, which just about works now but in a few years by DS won't be interested). That's fine when she'd have to do that anyway because of my youngest child, but if she was restricted in what she could do because of having a baby in tow that wasn't mine, I'd struggle with it. Plus 4 kids is a stretch!

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