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They don't prepare you for this!!!

(17 Posts)
SueBrom Wed 21-Feb-07 20:01:40

The Mum of the mindees I have on a Sat has got another job and no longer needs my services. I have had them for a year and I am really upset. I watched the youngest learn to roll over, crawl, walk and she now has a vocabulary of about 20 words. You are supposed to mind them as if they are 1 of your own and include them into your family, but you could lose them overnight. My 2 kids keep asking what we are doing with the mindees on Sat and talk about them all the time. They know all about Mummy's Job, but it's still hard to explain. I THINK I NEED COUNSELLING!!!

beansprout Wed 21-Feb-07 20:03:15

It must be very hard. I can see how attached our CM is to ds and I have seen her have to adjust to other mindees moving on. Can you stay in touch at all? Ex-mindees often visit and that seems to help everyone concerned

ScottishThistle Wed 21-Feb-07 20:03:28

Oh it's so hard, big cuddle!

When I left my first Nanny position I cried for months on the run upto my leaving date & after!

shosha Wed 21-Feb-07 20:04:05

Message withdrawn

mykidzrmyworld Wed 21-Feb-07 20:04:26

AH BLESS U! thats sad news and it always going to be hard! Ive not had this happen to me yet so cant advice really-just wanted to send a big hug!x

KaySamuels Wed 21-Feb-07 20:11:51

Aw, your kids sound so sweet...maybe you could arrange meet ups so the kids can still see each other. It's so nice when everyone bonds, really feel for you.

libbysmummy Wed 21-Feb-07 21:06:06

Ah Sue I know exactly how you feel! I looked after a 20 mth old girl for 8 hours a day for 6 months. two weeks ago her mum got sacked from her job and sent me a text saying she daughter wouldn't be coming back - no notice, nothing! My daughter who is 22 mths is asking after her constantly and I am shocked at just how much I have missed her, especially as we didn't even get to say a proper goodbye - it really is a rotten part of the job. Maybe you could still have playdates every now and again and offer to have the kids for an hour or two if the mum ever needs a break......

StrawberrySnowflakes Wed 21-Feb-07 21:07:36

aw..my dd today has been singing a song called "i miss you Kiera"!shes only 3!..it was mindee who left thre weeks ago(whos a friends dd and is cming over saturday for tea but dd doesnt know yet..she might even sleep over)

franyfroo Wed 21-Feb-07 22:05:30

i have mindee who been coming since 7 wks, is off to school in next month and (she is now 3) I am dreading it. i love her like my own, she comes 8 till 6 every day. she is coming back in hols but i will miss her so much. she is special. its impossible not to get attached. best wishes

SueBrom Thu 22-Feb-07 23:50:11

You are all making me cry just reading these messages. A play date sounds like a brill idea. I suppose I could arrange it for a Saturday now I am free!! I am just scared that I won't be able to switch of C/M mode and P off Mum by 'minding' kids instead of just playing (said badly but you know what I mean). I don't want to jump up instinctively and get there before Mum. The idea of offering to give Mum a break for a few hours is a very tasty idea. I may suggest that.Thanks for all your help xxx

simplycontrolfreaky Fri 23-Feb-07 00:02:24

i think its important for all the children involved to make an effort to try and stay in some contact. our nanny of many years left in summer. i make real effort for ds's sake to stay in touch....

thelittleElf Fri 23-Feb-07 00:14:36

Geez...my heart goes out to you. It's so tough to remain 'professional' when you care for them for such long time! I was made redundant from my family, (now back with them!)and had been with the children for over 8 yrs....god i cried like a baby for days
xx

looneytune Fri 23-Feb-07 13:28:58

Oh I know how you feel. My first ever mindee (was with me over 1 and half yrs) left on my birthday last week and she kept cuddling me so tight I had to ask her (nicely) to stop as I kept crying! Mindee and ds are only 1 month apart in age and she was with me 11 hrs a day, Mon-Fri so like family to him. He's always asked at weekends when she's coming back and now I'm getting it during the week too Doesn't want to go to nursery without her etc!

BUT.......she's coming for a sleepover soon and we're going to make every effort to have regular contact so hopefully that will fill the gap!

Othersideofthechannel Fri 23-Feb-07 13:32:49

Ask the mother how she feels about keeping up contact. I'm not a CM but a mother who has used one for DS from 4 months to 2 yrs. We live in the same village as his exCM and used to visit her every other week and now DS is at school, at least once a month.

charmedhay Fri 23-Feb-07 13:36:40

My first mindee left at the end of Jan and i was crying when mum took him on the last day and even now i miss him !!!

Anchovy Fri 23-Feb-07 13:49:00

Good for you, SueBrom.

Our nanny was absolutely devastated when she left, after being with DS for 4 years since he was 5 months old and with DD since the day she came home from hospital.

It really pisses me off when people want someone to look after their children and then don't acknowledge the bond that has formed.

Our current nanny handed her notice in (very amicably - full contractual notice etc) at her previous job because the circumstances of the job had changed. They asked her to leave immediately and did not let her even say good bye to the children. Totally out of order, in my view.

saltire Fri 23-Feb-07 13:57:21

I have this to face soon. DH is posted down south and I will have to give notice. I am especially dreading saying goodbye to mindee 1. I had his brother from the age of 4 months - 3 years, and have had mindee 1 from the age of 4 months

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