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Our New Nanny Just Quit

(40 Posts)
5amisnotmorning Thu 05-Jan-17 07:29:51

Just looking for opinions on what we can do differently?
Our current nanny is going on mat leave for a year, I arranged our new nanny to start yesterday with a 2 day handover woth our old nanny. My husband also worked at home yesterday as he does normally on a Wednesday.
Our new nanny has text me this morning to say that the job isn't for her and she was made to feel unwelcome yesterday. I wasn't there but it was a difficult day - my first day back at work, first day back at school for the 5 year old and the 2 year old was very clingy to DH but settled after about 30 minutes.
It might not have been a morning of sitting chatting with me about routines etc but was I unreasonable to expect her to just get on and learn from the nanny there? I don't have capacity at the moment to have a day off work. I also need to make sure this doesn't happen again though and need to find a new nanny to start next Wednesday...

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 05-Jan-17 07:33:34

Tbh I think you do need a bit more input than what you have described. On the other hand she shouldn't have just texted.

TrishanFlips Thu 05-Jan-17 07:39:44

Your being at work should not have mattered but perhaps for this nanny she expected more of a welcome. Remember many moons ago, one of our nannies quitting after one day. In her case, she broke her wrist - and therefore quit - perhaps she had some other reason. Very difficult for you now. Good luck with getting a new nanny.

VimFuego101 Thu 05-Jan-17 08:57:44

What does your current nanny say about how the day went? How much time did she spend talking to the new nanny about the job?

yoowhoo Thu 05-Jan-17 09:04:23

How involved was your dh during the day? Is he a sociable person? How did he think it went? It's hard starting a new nanny job especially with a 2 year old as they are set in their ways. I find it takes longer to bond with a 2 year old than if you've had them from being a baby (I usually do bond, it just takes a bit longer!) I would certainly give it longer than 1 day though. But I think you do know if you're going to click or not..

OVienna Thu 05-Jan-17 09:44:19

I think it is ridiculous to quit a job like that, after one day, and probably you ard better rid. "Made to feel very unwelcome" - is she a bit inexperienced? I wonder if a permanent position cane through?

user1483387154 Thu 05-Jan-17 09:47:48

It sounds like the new nanny was not very experienced, she should have been able to pick up a lot of the information she needed from the other Nanny and felt able to ask you questions when needed, or to ask for time today to chat.
Did you Skype chat or have long face to face interviews with her before her trial so she was aware what was expected of her for the position?

Hope it goes better with the next applicant

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 05-Jan-17 09:51:53

Surely it depends how helpful the previous nanny is?

You wouldn't just put someone in an office and expect them to get on with it without some guidance,would you? Nothing to do with how experienced you are.

MadHattersWineParty Thu 05-Jan-17 09:57:58

I'd be interested in getting the original nanny's account of how it went.

JustSpeakSense Thu 05-Jan-17 09:58:21

How does your DH think the day went? How does your current nanny feel it went? I think perhaps a bit more input from you yesterday would've been helpful.

She must've had a really horrendous day to leave after just one day. She is clearly not the right person for the job.

Buffythebabywearer Thu 05-Jan-17 10:04:54

We had our first nanny leave during settling in - it was a relief tbh as I didn't feel at all comfortable with her but was worried I was being too hasty. She was very experienced and was, I think, offended that she couldn't "manage" me and that I wanted some things done in a particular way.

Leaving after one day seems silly especially as she hadn't had a chance to get to know you better - sounds like you're better off without her.

Maybe she doesn't like parents working from home? I've heard nannies comment negatively about it at playgroups. I can see it makes their day a bit harder with repeated separations but I would think it's part of the job these days as more and more parents will be doing it.

OVienna Thu 05-Jan-17 10:23:56

I just think it's not very professional and very vague if tgat mskes sense. Be more precise: i have cincerns about xyz part of the role can we discuss? That sort of thing. She made it very personal, after one day.

GinAndOnIt Thu 05-Jan-17 10:26:00

Did she know your DH would be working from home every week when she took the job? Did your DH stay out of the way or is his office downstairs/was he popping in and out a lot? If the current nanny is heavily pregnant, was she telling the nanny to do a lot while she 'observed'? I'm just trying to think of a few reasons she may have felt unwelcome.

I have had a few jobs where I've wanted to quit after a day or two, when the job turns out being totally different to the rose tinted view given on interview. (Things like 'yes you can arrange activities throughout the day/have play dates etc, then being told on day one that actually can't socialise with nannies/can't go out for the whole day etc etc). I've normally stuck it out but always regretted it and left hating the job by the time I left.

nannynick Thu 05-Jan-17 10:38:39

Maybe it was a case of there being too many adults. Some nannies (like me) like to hit the ground running, not having much of a handover period.

Not sure what they mean by not being made welcome. Wonder what they were expecting.

aaupair Thu 05-Jan-17 10:42:23

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 05-Jan-17 10:45:05

Not sure what they mean by not being made welcome. Wonder what they were expecting

I read that as the nanny 'politely criticising' the way in which the OP treats her employees ,ie like 'staff' possibly.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 05-Jan-17 11:18:56

I'm guessing and going on my own experience,not saying the OP is like that iyswim.

exercisejunkie Thu 05-Jan-17 13:14:02

My guess is that a permanent non temp position came up and she only intended to come for one day! That or your current nanny is amazing and she knew she couldn't possibly be the same so felt overwhelmed and just walked!! Ha ha
I'm a nanny and do way more than some nannies do, god help the person who comes in after me....not that they will yet, I love the family I work for! Brilliant employers and fantastic children, which is why I do over and above!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Thu 05-Jan-17 14:17:39

Ah,I missed the part where the OP said it was temporary,it could well be she found a full time job.

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 05-Jan-17 14:26:38

Weird. What did current nanny and dh say?

It is hard having a parent work at home as not that we nannies do anything different but that the children usually play up more - winge and wine and parents come out and gets harder ....

TBH why did dh come out. The preg current nanny was there she should have sorted it out

Maybe new nanny felt that dh would always pop out .......

Wonder why unwelcome?

Better you find out now rather then weeks into job

Is nanny coming back with baby? So job is for a year

Least a year is guaranteed. I know friend (and once myself) started a job and 2/3mth later mum quit work as missed baby

5amisnotmorning Thu 05-Jan-17 15:30:59

Thanks all!

We had 2 face to face interviews, the second was 2 hours that she spent with me and the little one as I was keen to make sure she was comfortable with the role. It is only 2 days a week so reliability is key.
DH isn't amazing with new people but he would have been polite and welcoming. He was concentrating on trying to peel the 2yo off him so he could go and do some work!
Our current nanny is lovely and chatted to her through the day. She was very surprised when I told her. She tried to give them some space to bond so went upstairs to sort some clothes out after asking her if she was ok with that. She isn't the type to boss anyone around!
I did worry about not being there to say hi and make her feel welcome but I have to work and she can't come any of the other days.
I would think our current nanny would describe us as good employers. We pay well, we treat her fairly and act as we would want to be treated. We are fairly chilled out so as long as the children are happy and fed the rest is pretty easy.

I think with hindsight she was looking to have a warm welcome with me instead of a bit of getting on with it with someone there to ask questions of. I will try and ask whoever is next how they would like to do settling in although she did agree to this and we discussed it at the second interview.

5amisnotmorning Thu 05-Jan-17 15:33:46

And DH is only there on a Wednesday. He does school drop offs and the nanny arrives after so little one was very upset at me not being there and that daddy was disappearing to work. He isn't normally like that as he has had me at home for a month and the disruption of Christmas but what do you do if leaving makes him very upset?

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 05-Jan-17 15:41:13

In the ideal world dh would say I need to work now and go to office and current nanny deal with any tears etc

Yes it's hard after xmas and time off so possibly more clingy tearful

T bh I prefer the jump in deep end approach so would have been happy with you at work and current nanny there so can interrogate her no point having 2 parents and current nanny there if you did stay there

She sounds flakey. Where did you find her? Any feedback from agency?

EthelEgbert Thu 05-Jan-17 15:54:20

You are better off with her leaving after one day. Especially if she expects you to be there on her first day when you aren't able to be there. You arranged a handover period, your DH was there - why on earth you should be expected to be there is beyond me.

She either had another job come through or wasn't genuinely committed anyway.

Hope you find a replacement soon.

HoHumming Thu 05-Jan-17 16:03:47

From what you have written, I don't think you did anything wrong. You were lucky she left after one day rather than waiting until your current nanny left and then quitting.

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