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Taking nanny out for a Christmas meal - is it expected?

(18 Posts)
LeftoverCrabsticks Wed 16-Nov-16 20:30:36

We're new to having a nanny this year (and don't know anyone else with one) and I wondered if it was the expected thing to take them out for a Christmas meal like companies do for their employees?

Reason I ask, is that we have two nannies (both part time, they have never met each other!) and it would feel rude to ask them out in the evening without inviting their families too, and so the whole thing could get very expensive, fast.. However, I would hate for them to feel resentful if it was a cultural norm here in the UK to do this, and we didn't offer.

It goes without saying we're planning on a Christmas bonus, small gift etc too! It just suddenly occurred to me about the meal thing as we're currently organising one at work.

acornsandnuts Wed 16-Nov-16 20:36:43

I wouldn't think it was necessary or expected to go out for a meal. You could have a get together with a few canapés and drinks for everyone at your home if you feel the need. It would feel more informal and a lot cheaper.

OohhThatsMe Wed 16-Nov-16 20:41:17

I wouldn't think you need to pay for a meal out. At work it's done to encourage team work and to allow people to meet others in the organisation socially. I think a nice present and perhaps an afternoon off (if possible) would be better.

CaesiumTime Wed 16-Nov-16 20:46:23

Bonus money and a gift is what we've done.

Once time We gave vouchers for 4 meals for a restaurant for Christmas is they wanted to invite a few mates for a Christmas partyish meal.

LeftoverCrabsticks Wed 16-Nov-16 20:54:16

Oh phew! I'm quite socially anxious, and the thought of organising and then "presiding" over such a meal was terrifying me even more than the cost!

Of course OohhThatsMe you're right - it is for team bonding. That's not really necessary with a nanny!

Yep - definitely bonus money and a gift (and get the children to do cards and stuff too!)

When it comes to the bonus - would cash or (say) Amazon vouchers be better?

Callaird Wed 16-Nov-16 21:43:09

One of my (10) employers took me out for Christmas dinner once (in 30 years) he did it because he ran his own business and took his team out for Christmas event and then he felt guilty when they were all talking about it around me so he asked me if I wanted a Christmas do, he caught me off guard and I said yes! It was the most awkward night of my life! (He was a widower so just me and him)

Never had a Christmas dinner since!

With regards to bonus/present - a well thought out present is always appreciated, shows you've thought about it and appreciate her. Can be cheap with a cash bonus or more expensive with something small made by the children.

(I prefer a cash bonus as then I can put it towards something more expensive (just bought an expensive camera with a birthday bonus and a lot of other money, both earned and gifts! I love it! And my employers get the benefit from it too as I took some fabulous photos which I shall give them for Christmas!)

NannyR Wed 16-Nov-16 21:47:07

I've been a nanny for over twenty years and never been taken out for a Christmas meal.
With regards to a present, I would go for flowers and vouchers for somewhere like John lewis where there is a wide range of stuff to spend them on.

FreeButtonBee Wed 16-Nov-16 22:00:20

Cash is king, I reckon. One small thoughtful gift and then cash or easily used vouchers for a decent amount. Maybe say to the nanny if they want to take the kids out for a Christmas meal to eg pizza express with another nanny friend, then that might be fun and obviously remove the need to cook one evening!

Blondeshavemorefun Wed 16-Nov-16 23:12:46

Not usually expected tho in one family I did go on their work Christmas party as db owned 3 estate agents so he took all his staff out for meal and disco each year and always invited me

Was a laugh

But generally no to meal out - but yes cash is always appreciated

MadHattersWineParty Wed 16-Nov-16 23:21:14

I take my charge out for a Christmas meal (or rather, she takes me out and pays for it out of 'her' money- she has one of those pre-loaded cash-card things) we go to Carluccio's or similar and it's a nice treat for both of us. I think that's a really nice thing to do. Would never expect my boss to take me out for a meal, although I do get given a John Lewis voucher every year (this will be my third) which is much appreciated! Never got cash. Although I certainly wouldn't complain if I did grin

LeftoverCrabsticks Wed 16-Nov-16 23:49:47

Lovely, thank you so much everyone! That's put my mind at ease and given me some ideas too :-) I like the idea of them going out for a nice meal somewhere too with the children - seems like a winner all round.

LeftoverCrabsticks Wed 16-Nov-16 23:52:34

Callaird - that must have been excruciating!! I ended up out for a meal with a boss once, we were on a business trip and needed to eat before the flight home and it was just him and me. That was bad enough, but at least it was kind of necessary, albeit awkward as he chose quite a nice restaurant!

JeanGenie23 Thu 17-Nov-16 06:48:50

How about mulled wine and mince pies at your house on the nannies last day? I always do that with my parents and it gets me in the festive mood smile

VikingChallenger Thu 17-Nov-16 11:04:05

Ok, can I just ask, why cash? I've been working for many years now (not as a nanny) and never have received a Christmas gift or bonus from any of my employers. I do get a pay rise almost every year (in line with inflation really) after the annual review and that's about it.
Why is it expected to give cash to the nannies though? Not being funny just wondering.

CaesiumTime Thu 17-Nov-16 11:24:11

I don't know if it's expected but it's a nice gesture as it would be for any employee anywhere.

And even among folks with nannies the 'norm' varies enormously.

Ebb Thu 17-Nov-16 14:56:04

You sound like a lovely employer. smile The only time I've been out for a Christmas meal as a nanny is when I've worked for fully staffed households so there were quite a few of us and more like a party. I certainly wouldn't expect it in a normal nanny job. A bonus is always nice but knowing you're appreciated is worth far more.

nannynick Thu 17-Nov-16 15:08:53

Why is it expected to give cash to the nannies though?

Good question, it can be put through payroll but a rise of say £300 spread out over a year is not very much. If put through payroll in a lump sum, then it bumps the pay that pay period which can result in HMRC thinking they will get that amount every time.

Maybe it is tax related... cash is cash, no questions asked. It is a gift, rather than salary.

Callaird Thu 17-Nov-16 15:13:30

VikingChallenger An employer/nanny relationship so different from normal employer/employee relationship.

A good nanny will become part of your family, your child/ren love their nanny, I've been with most of my families over 3 years, I see all my ex-charges regularly (except my first who lives in Australia but we communicate often, I started looking after him 31 years ago today, he sent me a message last night saying it was the day that changed his life!! Not sure if he means for the better or worse!!!

I buy nice presents for my charges for birthdays and Christmas and I buy craft supplies for my charge to make thing for parents and grandparents, foot/hand print decorations for the tree, Christmas soap (?!?!) biscuits. I love photography so I save photos over the year that I haven't shown the parents and make it into a photo calendar and blow up a couple of cute ones for them and grandparents.

I think it shows how much the nanny is appreciated by spoiling them a little, a thank you for keeping the children safe and well for another year!

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