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New au pair.... just not feeling it?(10 Posts)
Looking for other's perspectives please. We have a new au pair, been with us 6 weeks now. We had one wonderful girl before for a year then she left to go travelling. New girl is nice, but I'm just not feeling it and the thought of her being with us for a full year is making me reconsider?
She has very little to do, take one child to school in the mornings then walk the dogs. Pick ds up and oversee until my df collects and takes him to his house for tea.
No official cleaning, just tidy up any mess (as is expected of all the family, everyone does chores!)
There are 3 much older dd's in the house but she doesn't have to do anything for them.
She has slept in quite a few times and I've had to message from work to tell her to get up. She has had to be messaged a few times (once at 11 when dh came home early) to ask her to walk the dogs.
She leaves stuff in the kitchen and often doesn't wash the dishes after she has 'baked'
She is expected to keep ds's room tidy (as can be for a 6yo) just make sure he hangs his uniform up after school etc. Most days it's all on the bed still when I get home. She never cleans the shower after her either.
She is nice, but I'm getting a tiny bit of doubt that it's not going to work out.
WWYD? Really don't want to have to go through the ordeal again of finding another. She is nice, I trust her around the children, she's just a bit ... lazy? Not very engaged with ds.
I'm aware I'm probably fortunate that she's nice enough, but is nice enough, nice enough???
Oh dear... I'd be reconsidering... She sounds like a slob although that might be sorted out with a specific list of jobs to do and making it very clear that when she's done in a room, it must be at least as clean and tidy as when she started.
However, I'd be very worried about her oversleeping a few times in just 6 weeks that's very irresponsible if she's meant to take DC to school... And is supposed to walk the poor dogs. It sounds like you want her to do pretty little so it's really not on that she doesn't even do that properly.
Doesn't sound great. Have you raised this with her directly?
Can you sit down for a review and set these things out in writing so there isn't any ambiguity that they need to be done? (As in, "Both dogs walked twice daily for 30 minutes each time." "DS's uniform to be hung up behind door.")
If you like her and you have no other issues I would sit down and have a chat and spell out clearly what you expect from her. Give her a list as well.
Be assertive but pleasant. Good luck.
Yes, sit her down with a list and go though what she has to do every day.
Then stick it on the fridge.
If she "forgets" to do something like the washing up or the shower, just get her to do it as soon as you've noticed - she'll soon get the message that its not optional.
I'd give her another month and if she's still not great, find someone else for after Christmas.
I would do as suggested above give her a very clear daily rota and for a week check up with her on it. However from a similar experience I had with my first ever au pair (and thankfully never again) I would be willing to call it a day if you don't see an improvement. She is not living up to her end of the deal.
Thank you everyone, I want to give her a chance as she is nice. We did do her a booklet of what was expected and had a crossover week with both girls here so one could show the other. I suspect in my heart it's probably a little to do with the fact the first girl was very very lovely and no.2 is just different!
But yes I'll go through the booklet with her again and maybe suggest a review in 3 weeks?
If we didn't have the dogs we probably wouldn't need one at all!!
She's by no means overworked from what you described, so she either needs to meet your standards or go.
I agree with those who say to sit her down and go through everything again. Make really clear that this stuff is not optional.
It's really awkward having to "nag" and raise these things over and over but you have to do it.
On that case get a dog walker
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