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Changing to Childminder after Nursery?(11 Posts)
I'm in a quandary about whether to change to a childminder. My son, nearly 22 months, has been in nursery (2 days p/w) for 5 weeks. He has adapted to it to some extent, and is able to enjoy some activities, and mostly not crying except briefly on drop off. However, I'm not confident he is happy and secure there. In general the nursery has fallen below my expectations as an care environment. In the early days I once overheard his key worker shouting sternly at him, 'You're happy!" when he was crying in quite a distressed way. Now he is biting staff (not children, just adults), he does bite us sometimes, it's usually linked to him needing to release emotions, but the staff see it as naughty and yesterday talked about him in a negative way re. biting on pick up. Obviously biting is difficult and we need to encourage him to find other ways to express emotions, but so far I feel the staff lack emotional attunement to the kids. His key worker is not reliably around for him - sometimes they have her working in another room if they are short-staffed. I'm regretting choosing nursery as an option and think it would be better for my son to have the stability that a childminder could offer, so that he was always being cared for by the same person. The biting would probably still be an issue, but if I could find the right person who might have a better approach with it that might help. My quandary is particularly about the upheaval involved for him if I do take him out of nursery and place him with a childminder instead. As I said, he has gone some way to settling at nursery. Has anyone else changed the childcare setting? How did it go? I'd be very grateful for any wisdom on this.
Personal opinion, children are happier with childminders. It's a home setting and they do normal things. CMs take kids to playgroups and parks but also let the kids stay indoors and watch TV just as you would at home. They also sleep/nap better with a CM than in a roomful of other kids as at nursery.
Thanks, yes the homely environment is an advantage. Anyone have any thoughts/experience on transferring (he's only been in nursery for 5 weeks) and resettling? Wondering if it's too much of an upheaval for him. Hard to weigh it up.
Children have come to me from nursery and settled well. They have already learned the important lesson that mum will come back for them.
Visit some CMs and see if it feels right for you. There are of course good and bad ones and different settings suit different people.
We used nursery for my older child and she never really settled, we changed to a childminder for both kids and it is fabulous and I wish I'd never used nursery. I think nursery are a bit too full on for kids (maybe just my kind of kids!).
Like the previous poster I love that my kids get to do normal things, activities, playgroup, helping cook etc.
You'll know if you go to visit childminders if you get a good feel for them. My kids settled no problem, not had one year whereas with nursery older child used to scream.
I'm a CM but have also worked in a nursery. Some children just don't settle in nurseries, even if it's a good one! They might not like the larger groups, different staff, noise etc. My CM environment is completely different- relaxed, homely, lots of play, lots of cuddles, and one to one care.
Try and visit some CM's and see how you feel-go with your gut feeling!
The smaller group may be better for your little one.
Thanks very much to everyone for your replies. That's really encouraging. It's good to hear resettling won't necessarily be too hard. x
Just to add, I guess one reservation about using a CM is that my son is a bit on the hyperactive side, which can be a handful. For example if you're busy preparing food he'll have emptied out whichever cupboards are unlocked, tried to turn the gas on, and turned the cat's food upside down within seconds. For that reason my mum urged that nursery would be better for him. But maybe I need to visit some child minders' homes to get an idea
If it helps, he shouldn't ever have access to the gas or cat food at a CMs and any unlocked cupboards should have safe contents .
Do a few visits and you should get a feel for whether they will work for him.
I'm a childminder and have had quite a few children come to me after being in a nursery.
One little boy cried on and off all the time he was there. (A junior member of staff was brace enough to tell mum that he was very unhappy there)
He joined my setting and writhing a week, his parents bought me flowers to say thank you!
He was a changed little boy and they were very grateful.
Some children thrive in a big setting, others don't. The most important thing is that you are aware you may have made the wrong decision. Visit as many cms as you can ideally with your little boy and trust your mummy instinct. X
Nursery was never an option for us as I knew my then 10 month old would not settle in a busy environment with lots of kids when I returned to work. We found a CM and felt it was 100% the right decision as the home from home setting with a small number of kids suited her. Visit as many CM's as you can to get a feel for what works for you. Our CM is 'old school' and doesn't keep a diary detailing what the kids did each day etc and she didn't have a garden when we first started (she has since moved to a house with a garden) but we found the pluses outweighed those factors.
Nurseries work for some kids, not all. DD now attends a school nursery 5 mornings a week and loves it but she wasn't ready until now.
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