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Au Pair - how to say no to an au pair that you've already offered a job to?

(15 Posts)
Dancinglikenobodyswatching Fri 23-Sep-16 14:42:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowMeTheElf Fri 23-Sep-16 14:47:43

If you haven't signed a contract and she hasn't started work then you don't have to take her on.
Pancreatitis is horrendous and I would be concerned about taking someone on to look after small children when they are recovering from this. Further, if it does turn out to be an ongoing illness once she has started with you it becomes something you have to deal with. Did her reference from previous employer give any indication of reliability?

ShowMeTheElf Fri 23-Sep-16 14:50:00

'Thank you for applying to become our Au Pair. Due to circumstances which have arisen since we offered you the position we are no longer seeking an Au Pair and must withdraw the job offer.
Best wishes for your future endeavours.'

AndNowItsSeven Fri 23-Sep-16 14:50:21

Why should she tell you about her mental health issues? You are being very unfair in that respect.

OldGuard Fri 23-Sep-16 14:52:54

Keep it simple, brief and sincere

"Dear xxxx, due to a change in our familiar circumstances, we will no longer be engaging an aupair. Thank you so much for your time and consideration and we wish you all the best, kind regards xxxxx"

OldGuard Fri 23-Sep-16 14:53:43

Family not familiar - damn autocorrect

HollyBollyBooBoo Fri 23-Sep-16 14:53:57

I think you should say your situation has changed and you're now not hiring.

I think it'll be a lucky escape for her to be honest. You sound highly discriminatory. Im sure there is something called the Equality Act, maybe google it?

Dancinglikenobodyswatching Fri 23-Sep-16 15:20:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NuffSaidSam Fri 23-Sep-16 16:44:53

Just concentrate on reason number three.

'We don't want you because you're sick and previously suffered mental health problems' sounds terrible.

'We've found that we don't need an au pair after all. So sorry to mess you around. Hope you're feeling better soon!' is much better.

AdaLovelacesCat Fri 23-Sep-16 16:47:41

Just tell her , as others have said.
You are not obliged to her, and she has already lied to you, and she is to be moving into your house as a convalescent?
Forget it.

BlasianFashionista Fri 23-Sep-16 16:52:11

If you don't want to take her on, don't take her on.

I think you should just copy what OldGuard said.

underneaththeash Fri 23-Sep-16 21:48:20

Has she booked her flight? If she has, I think you should reimburse her if it remains unused.

So, I'd email and say that you are sorry to say that you've found yourself in a situation where you are unable to commit to hosting an au pair.
We're happy to pay for your flight if it remains unused and wish you all the best. Kind regards.........

You should get a medical certificate or a form from your au pair stating they have no medical problems.

And now - au pairing is not something you should be doing if your mental state is not 100%. A new country, language, friends and being responsible for (several) small children isn't easy.

notausernumber Sat 24-Sep-16 16:04:02

Equalities act etc won't be relevant here. She's not an employee.

I'd go with an honest line about circumstances changing. Offer to reimburse flights on goodwill.

HeyNannyNanny Tue 27-Sep-16 16:49:34

I think it's pretty hideous to judge her on past mental health difficulties and hope you're not fucking her over too badly by withdrawing with only a weeks notice

insancerre Tue 27-Sep-16 16:55:37

Just say your circumstances have changed and you are no longer needing an au pair

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