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Friend looking after DD - should I offer to pay?

(8 Posts)
Doradolittle Sat 10-Sep-16 20:19:08

I have just started a new job which takes me out of town between 7 and 6. For various reasons childcare for first 3 weeks of term has fallen though so friend with children at same school offered to do drop off and after school club pick up - all of which adds up to 27 hours of her time to look after my DD.
If it was less hours, I would of course feel happy that I could reciprocate over the next few months. But this is a huge chunk of time and I feel overly obliged. Would it be really crass of me to offer to pay her? Or should I just offer to buy presents for children / crate of wine / family ticket to Legoland or something?

eurochick Sat 10-Sep-16 20:21:25

I think a gift would be very much appreciated.

cuntinghomicidalcardigan Sat 10-Sep-16 20:24:59

I would get a nice bottle of wine, and thank you card and maybe a gift card or voucher for somewhere you know she likes? And definitely offers of reciprocal childcare/emergency weekend/evening care! Sounds like you have a fantastic friend.

And definitely tell her you'll cover any expenses she incurs.

Doradolittle Sat 10-Sep-16 20:25:07

thanks for replying. Do you think definitely a present rather than just money?

Cocochoco Sat 10-Sep-16 20:26:41

I'd offer money if it feels right to you. You'd be spending money on childcare normally.

cuntinghomicidalcardigan Sat 10-Sep-16 20:28:14

Honestly? If she's a good enough friend to offer to look after your dd for 27 hours then just ask her! Ask her how much she needs to cover it. If she says nothing, then you know to get the gift/vouchers/card etc. If she gives you a price, pay it unless you feel it's unreasonable. Keep on the good side of people like that smile

Maryann1975 Sun 11-Sep-16 01:02:41

I think what the pp says, offer cash, how much does she want? If she says nothing (which if she is a good friend she will) then you buy a bottle of wine, box of Chocs/flowers other token gift and give her a voucher for somewhere nice that she likes to use (eg spa/beauty place/treat type shop). Bare in mind the cost of childcare where you live though, 27 hours where I live would be over £100, and although I don't think you need to give that much if she says to give her nothing, it would perhaps be a bit stingy to give her £10 (iykwim).

GiddyOnZackHunt Sun 11-Sep-16 01:36:43

I'd be honest and say "You are digging me out of a huge hole here. My instinct is to get you a good gift. However if you would prefer some cold hard off the record cash then I'm fine with that."

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